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My email to SIL...what do you think?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 11:58 PM
  • 19 Replies

My SIL has been a raving c*nt from day one.  Now she is trying to segregate us from the rest of the family, and making a big deal out of my MIL's 50th bday party in two weeks.  She sent me an email today that basically said she thinks my husband is a piece of shit and she never wants to breathe the same air as him.  For the record, my husband def. went through a "piece of shit" phase and is now trying to get his life, and his marriage to me, back on track.

This is the response I just wrote.  I tried to be as eloquent, and polite as possible, but some hostility did shine through in the form of sarcasm.  I'm getting quite a laugh out of it now, but am afraid it may come back to bite me in the *ss.  Not that that really bothers me, as we are, hopefully, moving a few thousand miles away from all of my crazy, obnoxious, ILs very soon...but still.

Anywho, here is the email, what do you think?

SIL,
 
DH and I are both planning to be there.  It is his mother, afterall.  Regardless of anyone's feelings on the matter, we are now choosing, together, to do what is best for OUR family.  We neither care to explain, nor receive judgement on any of those choices.  That said, as long as everyone can mind their own business and treat us with respect, whether it is felt it is earned or not, then we won't have any problems.  Neither of us care to ever talk about "the situation" again.  If that comes across as preferring to pretend it doesn't exist, then so be it.  Our issues will be resolved in the court of law, not the court of common opinion.  If anyone has issues with this, I'm sure they can find someone else to complain about it to.
 
In all honesty, and this is completely me and not DH at all, I plan to pretend none of it ever existed, and will never exist again.  .
 
If "keeping the peace" is something that you truely are trying to do, then I will, of course, be more than happy to oblige.  "For this to work, I don't want to hear a single word" about "the situation" and all that in involves.  It shouldn't be difficult to do, seeing as this really isn't anyone but myself and DHs problem, once again regardless of anyone's feeling on the matter.
 
It is blatantly clear of everyone's opinions, as they have never cared to hide them, or show tact in the matter, including myself, so I fail to see the point in emails of this nature. 
 
You yourself have made it clear, on numerous occasions, that you wish nothing to do with myself, and now DH.  That is your choice.  In so making that choice, I had assumed that this would mean we would be civil at necessary family functions, though those will be few and far between on our end, and that is it.  As far as communications go, I would prefer them to also be non-existant.  DH trusts BIL, and it appears that BIL also trusts DH.  This is a bond that I have no desire to see end, and for that sake, and that sake alone, I am keeping my opinion to myself.  If something, and I would hope that would only be non-avoidable emergency-type somethings, were to come up, then BIL is more than welcome to call DH.  If DH choses to call him back, which I'm sure he would, then things can be handled that way.
 
I'm not a child, and have had to face many difficult things in not just my life in general, but in my life as a member of this family.  Almost every time without the aide of those that I had thought I could trust.  Those days, as I'm sure everyone has realized, are gone.
 
I have said before that I do not wish to receive emails or phone calls from you or BIL.  This was said in anger, and I did take it back.  In giving you our email address and offering our phone numbers, I was trying to extend a hand of friendship, however strained, and to show my, though undeserving, trust and respect.  I would like to go back to my previous statement and say that no further communications are wanted.  I trust that you can respect this and from here forth not try to contact me (Kenny is not a part of this statement).  Would this trust be broken, for whatever reasons, I have taken all the legal precautions in stating my intentions, and will seek the help of the law in enforcing this.
 
In regards to the party, we will be there, and please to be so, and will remain there as long as necessary.  The tension in our lives isn't going to reflect on MIL's party.  However, if you feel it so important to not "share the same air as him" then I might suggest holding your breath?  Probably not very effective, but highly entertaining...which I'm guessing was the same sort of motivation as was behind this quite pointless correspondance.
 
Hope this finds you all well,
Nicole
 
PS.  I am keeping a copy of this email for my own records for legal reasons, and I encourage you to do the same.
The parts that are in quotations were taken from her email to me, word for word, so as to show her how ridiculous it sounds.

by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 11:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LuvmySFSGT
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:01 AM

Its really hard to say if this letter is justified without knowing the true situation. I have said many times that I don't want to breathe the same air as my parents and sister...and I mean it.


Nik8608
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:23 AM

Without airing all my family's dirty laundry online, I will just say that I have had to report my BIL and SIL for harrassment many times, including hacking my computer and trying to use my personal info against me, stealing a housekey and coming into my house when I'm not home, etc.  Plus, when they were having marital issues, I let BIL stay here for 2 weeks.  Then, miraculously, BIL and SIL decided not to get a divorce and instead focused all their attention on trying to get DH and I to divorce.  When that didn't work they tried to turn the rest of the family against us.  When THAT didn't work they are just trying to segregate us and make us and our daughter feel unwelcome at family events...which we won't be attending after this one...

I know that doesn't really tell you much, as it isn't even the TIP of the iceberg, but it's the best I can do...

Quoting LuvmySFSGT:

Its really hard to say if this letter is justified without knowing the true situation. I have said many times that I don't want to breathe the same air as my parents and sister...and I mean it.


gagegang
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:30 AM

OH MAN...LOL...THE HOLDING THE BREATH COMMENT AT THE END WAS JUST FREAKIN FUNNY!!! LOL

Nik8608
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:39 AM

I'm considering bringing a face mask like doctors wear for her...But I'm thinking that might be pushing it too far.  LMAO.

Quoting gagegang:

OH MAN...LOL...THE HOLDING THE BREATH COMMENT AT THE END WAS JUST FREAKIN FUNNY!!! LOL


chiquis
by Diamond Member on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:51 AM


Quoting LuvmySFSGT:

Its really hard to say if this letter is justified without knowing the true situation. I have said many times that I don't want to breathe the same air as my parents and sister...and I mean it.


I agree with this. Depending on what she said and how she said ... your email might be just fine or ... you being a bitch lol. I know you said she said mean things but again its hard for to tell whether she gave her opinion/feelings and you ran with it .... or she was just bitchy kwim?

Either way I woudln't get into it with my mans family. He would be the one fealing with it.

 

 


CREMDELAKREME
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:53 AM


Quoting chiquis:


Quoting LuvmySFSGT:

Its really hard to say if this letter is justified without knowing the true situation. I have said many times that I don't want to breathe the same air as my parents and sister...and I mean it.

 


I agree with this. Depending on what she said and how she said ... your email might be just fine or ... you being a bitch lol. I know you said she said mean things but again its hard for to tell whether she gave her opinion/feelings and you ran with it .... or she was just bitchy kwim?

Either way I woudln't get into it with my mans family. He would be the one fealing with it.

 


nemiller
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 12:58 AM

i think you're nicer than me.  most the time, if i have THAT much drama with someone (even family), i just cut off communication without further notice.  if i happen to see them, i'm not going to ruin a perfectly good day by making a big deal of it.


 

Nik8608
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 1:02 AM

Typically DH is the one dealing with it.  But he is currently deployed.  And we're very excited that he got a 4 day leave to come home for the 4th of July (which is MIL's bday), but it seems like she's trying to make it into a bad thing that DH will be home and at MIL's party. 

If he could handle it, I'm sure he would be.  FTR.

Quoting chiquis:


Quoting LuvmySFSGT:

Its really hard to say if this letter is justified without knowing the true situation. I have said many times that I don't want to breathe the same air as my parents and sister...and I mean it.


I agree with this. Depending on what she said and how she said ... your email might be just fine or ... you being a bitch lol. I know you said she said mean things but again its hard for to tell whether she gave her opinion/feelings and you ran with it .... or she was just bitchy kwim?

Either way I woudln't get into it with my mans family. He would be the one fealing with it.

 


ThunderKitten
by on Jun. 22, 2009 at 1:08 AM

I think it was well put, I can't really say if it was too mean or too whatever, because I don't know the whole situation, but the email looked nice and even in you backhanded comments you were still tactful.

I like that you told her to keep the communication at a minimun- otherwise the whole messaging each other back and forth would get out of hand. But good job!

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StormiAnn
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2009 at 1:10 AM


Quoting gagegang:

OH MAN...LOL...THE HOLDING THE BREATH COMMENT AT THE END WAS JUST FREAKIN FUNNY!!! LOL


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