okay.. I am a failure... no bashing.

Replies:

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• by
  • zjonzie
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:30 PM

• you sound very overwhelmed.  i have been a working mom and am now a sahm.  i see both sides and for some women they need to work.  unfortunatly you cant have it both ways lol.  unless you can work from home.  maybe you need to throw yourself into a hobby or volunteer or do something to feel like a productive member of the house.  now after saying that you are very much an important part of this family.  hopefully you can see the work you do and how important it is. 

   

  i think school is a fantastic idea.  not all women are cut out to work or to be a sahm. what is best is a mom that is happy. 

• 
• by
  • mayzell
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:35 PM

• Doll you are just down, think about it like this ,if you were worthless you could not even be a mommy to your child.  Ibet you have her fed ,and cleaned ,and happy everyday. Now how is that worthless? If you feel like you are not a productive member of society volunteer somewhere helping others is always a good feeling.Plus a Good example to the little one. cheer up!

• 
• by
  • tigger-mommy
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:38 PM

•  honey, find a mother's morning out program somewhere. see if you can get together with someone from cafemom, at a mall or something. enroll in a class at the local college, or check with the school system to see if there are classes that they offer at night that may interest you.

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• by
  • armygirl16
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:39 PM

• Yeah my mom was a SAHM too and she is still lazy as hell.  I got a full time job when I was 15 so I could buy my own clothes for school and school supplies and some treats for myself that my parents couldn't afford.  I dont have any friends where I live.  I did find a playgroup once in my area and went once and there were some very nice moms there but I'm in school/clinicals 9 hours out of the day so I can't go again.  I'm sorry you feel like this! I hope you can find something!!

   

  
  

   

  
  

  

• 
• by
  • CariO.
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:41 PM

• Nothing you've done in your life up until now is an important as what you're doing now.  You need to keep busy with "mommy & me" classes / activities.  Just take your current JOB seriously and you'll start to feel better about yourself.

   

• 
• by
  • NadiasMommy427
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:41 PM

• Sounds to me like you need God right now. 

• 
• by
  • 1mom08
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:41 PM
• I feel that way sometimes and I'm not even a sahm. If you're feeling that way you should get you and your child out to the park and go to a nursing home and visit the elderly, they would enjoy it!

• 
• by
  • Phatpatswife
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:49 PM

• I know exactly how you feel. I've felt the same exact way. When I was laid off 18 months ago I thought it would be perfect because I could stay home with my son. So here I am 18 months later and I do love being home with him but I miss the identity I had when I was a working mom. Being that hubby and I never plan to put our children in daycare, I started going to college shortly after I was laid off. I go to University of Phoenix online and it's great. I'm actually less then a year away from my AA and I started last March. Our plan is for me to finish my AA then go to nursing school. After that i'm hoping to work in a hospital 2nd or 3rd shift until our kids are all in school and then work 1st shift. That way we don't have to put our kids in daycare and we're always there for them and getting to see all that they are developing into.

  I know this was a bit of a ramble about me but hopefully you understand what i'm trying to say.

  Hang in there and pm me if you'd like. I really am in the same situation because it's extremely hot here in Central FL and we can't do anything outside of the house so i'm home all day with my kids alone and definitely don't feel like i'm a beneficial member of society sometimes.

• 
• by
  • WildKat
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:50 PM

• The time you are spending with your daughter is obviously precious to  you and meaningful to her.  Don't let anyone tell you that you are lazy or not working.  Keeping a house and family running smoothly *is* work.  And if you've made an arrangement with your husband that he is the money provider and you are the homemaker than so be it.  Do the best you can to enjoy that role and don't let anyone tell you what you're doing is wrong.  It isn't at all!

  You are an adult now and don't need any one else's approval - you just need to do what works for YOUR new family. 

  As for the feelings of worthlessness - you are so important to your husband and daughter and you really deserve to be happy.  I hope you will speak with a professional about why you feel this way so you can understand that you are NOT worthless and be happy.  You deserve that! 

  What no one ever tells you about those bundles of joy is that they are HARD on a marriage and HARD on our bodies and HARD on our emotional lives sometimes...  I'm sure you are doing a fine job and just struggling with the transition.  It can be awfully isolating and lonely being home all day with no grown ups...  Go check out your local community centers, YMCAs, play places, libraries, ANYTHING where you can go and meet other Moms in your area.  I know some days it seems like a monumental effort just to get dressed in the morning... but it is SO worth it and SO important for our psyches to have that support network - and to know other Moms struggle with the same feelings. 

  I hope you are feeling better soon and that you make time for yourself and lose the pointless guilt over being home and enjoying your daughter.  You all deserve happiness - whatever that takes!

  Peace,

  Kat
  

• 
• by
  • bradyboo227
  on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:52 PM

• maybe you should go talk to a professional and get on some meds.

  

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