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Hi, I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any advice!

RMCookie

posted to New Members - Get started here! in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:45 PM

  • 9 Replies
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I am a recent step mother. Their mother is trying to end the relationship between the children and their father. I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any advice.
Written by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 7:45 PM

Replies:


  • homemommie
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 8:18 PM
  • I am not a step parent but my Hubby is. All I can tell you is to support your Hubby and those kids. Be there for them. I would also document or have him document everything. For instance if your Husband pays child support have him pay with a check so that way there is proof that he is paying. Keep a log book of everything. Also if phone calls get nasty (on her part) then record them. You might need this down the line if she decides to skip town or something. Have Hubby get her liscense plate # and if he has somewhere on record of her drivers liscense # keep that. Record in log book the time kids are spending with you two. But please try to remember that kids are smart no matter how old they are, don't argue or tell Hubby not to argue with her in front of the kids. Try to always be the bigger person, that is the last and hardest one to follow I know. Good Luck~

  • BabyStrawberry
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 8:48 PM
  • I Have a Step Mother........ So i know, I think you should talk to her and explain to her how much those kids mean to him! explain to her that you wont take her place that kids need there dad.. That MAy Help good Luck, And i just want to say your very good hearted for Caring!!!!

  • RMCookie
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:08 PM
  • Thanks for your suggestions. We are currently doing all that. Unfortunately, today we to had to contact the police to make a report because she refused to give him the kids for their summer vacation. The police made a report but was not able to persuade her to do the right thing. The youngest old was telling her mother that she wanted to go with us. She still wouldn't let her come. Even though she and her boyfriend were talking trash to my husband, he refused to engage in front of the kids. I stayed in the car, I didn't want to exacerbate the situation.
  • Mikey
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:12 PM
  • sounds like ur handling it very well. it is awful & unfair what she is doing to those children. it may take a while to get it straightened out but the children will remember that their father was the civil one in all of this. I wish the best for your DH, u & esp his kids. good luck.

    Quoting RMCookie:

    Thanks for your suggestions. We are currently doing all that. Unfortunately, today we to had to contact the police to make a report because she refused to give him the kids for their summer vacation. The police made a report but was not able to persuade her to do the right thing. The youngest old was telling her mother that she wanted to go with us. She still wouldn't let her come. Even though she and her boyfriend were talking trash to my husband, he refused to engage in front of the kids. I stayed in the car, I didn't want to exacerbate the situation.


  • RMCookie
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:13 PM
  • We have tried to talk to her, it just makes things worse. She get furious when the kids have fun with us. She keeps telling us that she doesn't want me near the kids and I'm not allowed to talk to them. She actually told the 9 year old that we were torturing him by making him study on the weekends. We were working with his teachers to make sure he passed the fourth grade. The four year old still count to 10 without help.
  • mama2camden
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:16 PM

  • Quoting RMCookie:

    Thanks for your suggestions. We are currently doing all that. Unfortunately, today we to had to contact the police to make a report because she refused to give him the kids for their summer vacation. The police made a report but was not able to persuade her to do the right thing. The youngest old was telling her mother that she wanted to go with us. She still wouldn't let her come. Even though she and her boyfriend were talking trash to my husband, he refused to engage in front of the kids. I stayed in the car, I didn't want to exacerbate the situation.

    My husband's ex is the same way. We live in Ohio, they live in Washington...they came to town last year and she wasn't even going to tell us they were here. The kids told him when he called them.  We ended up driving an hour and a half to see them, which is fine, but she was in the same town as us and made us drive that far out of the way. EEesh, we are in the same boat...and no money for an attorney to try and get anything done legally. It stinks!


  • rhondapayne
  • by on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:17 PM
  • reassure  the kids when they are there and try to maintain a good relationship between them and their dad

    it is tough

    hugz


    Rhonda

    Rhonda


  • RMCookie
  • by on Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:26 PM
  • thanks for all your advice and support. I really appreciate it.

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