need advice about hubby and baby's anger (update in red)
Ok.. Im married to a wonderful man. does everything for me and my daughter my problem though... he really is not a "baby" person. (never was before the baby and now that she's here he really isnt). He loves to play with her when she's a good mood but the minute she even whimpers he 1. doesn't want anything to do with her and 2. getts frustrated
well at first i didn't think anything of it. Well she's teething now and i swear is cranky almost all day long so this in returns puts him in a bad mood and then we take it out on each other.
I don't know what to do. He really hates it when she's upset. And she's also been having temper tantrums (yes at 5 months) and he gets so angry. (no not to the point of hitting or anything. ) but he does raise his voice and tells her to stop (which obviously doesn't work).
has any other mom's out there had this problem with their husbaands?..
like i said before he's wonderful and loves to play with her but the minute she cries *poof* anti baby man..
Also has anyone else had a 5 month old with temper tantrums? lately whenever we lay her down to change her or put her in her car seat she stiffs up her legs and getts all red in the face and "baby' yells at us.. (i know her cries and i know she's not hrut or hungry) it's def. a angry cry. I don't know where it came from or how to stop it. She also does it when it's nap time. She getts soo angry (even though she's really tired).. It kinda upsets me alittle but being the mom i guess i jsut handle it differently.
Someone please help!!!!
update
well i wrote him a very long letter how badly it hurts me seeing him like this. And i swear overnight he changed, i can't say he's happy to hear her cry but he more gentle with her. which is what i wanted. im shocked how many people "jumped" to "o he may hurt her" type of deal. Not being a protective wife but not all men are bad. I know i asked for help but attacking my husband not extaclly "help". He's a great husband and great dad and would lay his life down without thinking for either one of us.
I think men are culeless and unsure of babies.. (well magority)
till next time..........
YOUR HUBBY NEEDS TO STOP ACTING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AND BE AMAN. ! im not meaning to to sound likea a bitch but it seriously pisses me off when grown men act like Sissy's.I have zero respect for them.
I would like to start my answer off with, my children are SPOILED and it sounds like your 5 month old is too. My DD throws a FIT when she is left alone in a room for even a second. They learn fast that crying will make you pick them up or will get them the attention they want. I can't tell you what to do about the kid, because I haven't figured that out yet.
My husband had the same problem. I am a SAHM and he is only home a few hours a night before the kids go to bed and I wanted that to be a little free time for me. I NEEDED him to be able to take the baby no matter how cranky they are. So, we sat down and talked. I tried to explain what I needed and I still have to remind him "He is only 2, it is normal." She is only 8 months, that is what they do." It is hard, but I just couldn't let him keep handing over the kids to me. I finally said, not to kindly, If you don't want to help take care of them you shouldn't have had kids. It took a while, but then I finally just "left" (went into the offcie, took a walk outside) so he had no choice but to learn to deal. If I can do it, so can he. Oh yeah, I made sure he understood that I lost my temper with them too.
Hey Momma! My husband is the same way! He is a wonderful man and loves our kids dearly but when they throw tantrums, cry, or are just upset he CANNOT handle it! He dosen't hit but he also, like your DH, raises his voice. Honestly, he will not change. He will get better b/c he will grow patience through time. Its an unfortunate flaw that he has but... what can I say... the man has patience issues!!!
About patience issues, I was talking about my DH - just to clear that up! LOL! By the way, my girls are 2 years old.
Quoting SummerLove626:
Hey Momma! My husband is the same way! He is a wonderful man and loves our kids dearly but when they throw tantrums, cry, or are just upset he CANNOT handle it! He dosen't hit but he also, like your DH, raises his voice. Honestly, he will not change. He will get better b/c he will grow patience through time. Its an unfortunate flaw that he has but... what can I say... the man has patience issues!!!
I was going to say something along those lines... but not as harsh.
OP: Your post alarms me. If he is raising his voice to a 5 month old aren't you worried whats to come? Aren't you scared that he could get so frustrated and shake your poor daughter? Hit her?
Quoting LEJOLIE:
YOUR HUBBY NEEDS TO STOP ACTING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AND BE AMAN. ! im not meaning to to sound likea a bitch but it seriously pisses me off when grown men act like Sissy's.I have zero respect for them.
ive thought about the fact that he might get physical but honestly ( and im not just saying this b/c he's my hubby) i dont think he has the "balls" to harm our little girl. i guess that's the best way to put it... ive told him that if he really cant handle it to put her down (in her crib where she cant get hurt) and walk away. The worst she'll do is cry herself hysertical.
but he was raised as a VERY strong christain and seeing the family bacground he comes from i don't think he would (like i said) have the balls to hurt her.
and yea im sure she is spoiled.... she;s the first grand (and great grand) baby....
My husband was like that with our first son, and I left him for 6 months. He was begging us to come home, and I told him we would but he had to change & understand that he is a freaking grown ass man & our son is a baby with needs. If he couldn't handle it then I wasnt going to put my son through his anger.
Your DD is probably reacting to the negativity he puts out there, when she's upsets & it stress her out. Making her MORE cranky.
What is your greatest accomplishment? UPDATE
- Danielle.Chase
on Jul. 3, 2009 at 9:26 PM