Update on my skids BioMom in ICU (PIOG)

I posted about this a week or so ago, and the responses were so sweet.  I really did want to thank all of you for your support.  Cafemom members are a wonderful group of women!  Thanks!

Recap for those who missed my first post: My skids biomom called me to take her to the ER almost two weeks ago - she had a gallstone that became blocked between her gallbladder and her pancreas.  The gallbladder died, causing an infection in the pancreas, which caused septic shock.  She almost died.  The day after she was taken to the ER she had her gallbladder removed, after 24hrs in recovery she was put in the ICU for a rapid heart rate.  She has remained in ICU, even though her heartrate is down, she is starting to have other problems. 

Sidenote: She just finished a year of chemo in March for acral lentiginous melanoma (skin cancer under her left big toenail, her toe was amputated, and 12 lymph nodes removed, then chemo every day for a month, then 3x/wk for a year).  Now this....

Anyway, here's the update I posted in my Cafemom Group "Support for Stepmom's..."

BM was moved to a better equipped hospital on Monday.  She was in ICU until yesterday, when they moved her to a private room, even though her ICU status hasn't changed, she said her doc said she needed a private room to get some rest (it was VERY chaotic in that ICU).  DH and I are probably going to have to file for temporary full custody.  She said there is no end in sight to her hospital stay, and even if she was out in a week, she'd have weeks of recovery to go through, and she wasn't confident she'd be out soon.

BM has had a feeding tube since Tuesday and is very doped up on morphine and not thinking very clearly.  I'm not sure that everything she is telling me is what is actually happening.  She said that she is getting a blood transfusion every day, but that seems like a lot to me, so I'm not sure if her days are running together, and it just seems like she's getting one every day, or she actually is.  She also said Michael Jackson was her nurse (the tv was on MJ news coverage when she was saying that), so who knows exactly what the situation is.  She has lucid moments where she starts to talk about her condition, but it seems like she starts to hesitate when she remembers SD17 is in the room with me.  I get the feeling she would be telling me more if SD17 wasn't in the room, so I may go up there alone and see if I can find out more information.

BM said her doctor gave her a big hug today and said she was going to be fine, and in the same visit told her that he had another patient with the same condition who had been in the hospital for 100 days!  Her doc said she was in better condition than that man, but even if she's 75% better, that still means possibly a 25 day stay in the hospital, plus he said she would have weeks, if not months of recovery/physical therapy.   

Anyway, we're obviously stressed out about the whole thing.  If we get custody, I am not sure if SS12 would stay here with me, or go to San Antonio with DH.  It's all so very complicated and exhausting just thinking about the insane logistics and finances of it all.  We've had full custody before, but that was before we were in a commuter marriage situation with me in Austin and DH in San Antonio (we just can't afford to move to SA, and that's where DH found a job and has been working for a year)

It's a tough situation, which SS12 is not handling well (he goes into what we call "shut down mode" and just refuses to acknowledge what's going on).  As far as SD17 goes, she is not exactly sure how to process it all, and is still seeing things through a 17yr old's experiences, despite hearing reality from the nurses, and me, she was thinking her mom will be getting out any day now, and only when she heard it straight from her mother's mouth that there is no planned end to the hospital stay, did she start to realize how serious this situation is...although I think SD17 is doing a pretty good job of handling the responsibility that has been put upon her for a 17yr old.

We are still taking care of BM's dog at our house, and unfortunately her cat has to be left alone at her house, we feed and water the cat daily, but she really needs human interraction.  She has been pooping in SD17's shoes, and other items.  We're trying to find a foster home for her now.

Thanks for all your well wishes, prayers, and update requests.  I know the kids appreciate your concerns!