Explaining death to a 4 year old? *Edit*

Replies:

• 
• by
  • Trina39
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 5:28 AM

• We live in a rural area and my kids have been dealing with death for quite some time.  I don't know how you feel about this....but my kids feel better knowing that they (the animals) are in heaven and not feeling anymore pain.

  They cry that they will miss the animal,  that is normal.  I tell them it is ok to cry, and to remember that they are in a better place.  Also to remember all the times that the animal made them smile...it was/is a gift.

• 
• by
  • Little_bug
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 7:18 AM

•  I have no idea what to do with him.  I knew this day was coming and planned to take him to the vet so they could send him away to be creamated, but, here we are with a holiday weekend and going to be in the 90's.  That brings my next question, when should I tell her?  I am afraid she is going to notice first thing(though I may be able to distract her)and we plan to go to festivities, she STILL cried that I gave her fish to the mall to be with his friends, IDK what she is going to do when I tell her that her kitty is gone and she can't see him anymore(we still go see "sushi" *wink wink* at the mall).

  Quoting Trina39:
  
  

  We live in a rural area and my kids have been dealing with death for quite some time.  I don't know how you feel about this....but my kids feel better knowing that they (the animals) are in heaven and not feeling anymore pain.

  They cry that they will miss the animal,  that is normal.  I tell them it is ok to cry, and to remember that they are in a better place.  Also to remember all the times that the animal made them smile...it was/is a gift.

   

  

• 
• by
  • Ziggy-Stardust
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 7:29 AM

•  I would tell her the truth. Death is part of life, its sad but it shouldnt be feared. If you believe in an after life you could throw that in.

   If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

• 
• by
  • shecallsmemom04
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 7:32 AM

•  my daughter has been dealing with this since birth.  we foster and we rescue.  animals have always been a constant in our lives.  and from the moment she was able to understand and ask questions, i told her the "truth"(our truth), she was about 2 1/2.  i told her sometimes sick and hurt animals need to go to heaven to be with God so he can make them better and they don't hurt anymore.  she cried, of course.  we still cry.  it is sad.  it will always be sad.  but i won't ever lie to my child.  she is wise, smart, and i know she can handle it.

   but not everyone believes in God, and not everyone thinks their children can handle death so young.  so, honestly, it is kind of for you to decide.  only you know your child and you know what your beliefs are.

   good luck.

  dogs are my people.  i fight for them, i cry for them, i pray for them, i help them, i talk to them, i rescue them, i hug them, i love them, i raise their spirits, i bring them back to life, i foster, i adopt, i put the worthless 2 legged beings who abuse and neglect them behind bars.  i am their halo, and they are mine. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  PLEASE....have a heart, adopt, do not support backyard breeders or pet stores who sell puppies, do not sell your animals on craiglist...they are not the old sofa, spay and neuter, report animal abuse, donate, volunteer your time, obey laws, teach your children respect towards animals, do your part in the fight against animal cruelty.

• 
• by
  • jbhaleyrn
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 7:46 AM
• My husband and I were just talking about this last weekend with some friends of ours. Our friend is a former funeral director and we got on the subject of how to explain death to children. Their daughter is 4 1/2 and when her grandmother died recently, they explained to her that she was sick and her body just stopped working so she could go be an angel with God. Their daughter seemed to do OK with that explanation. You could try something like that. (Or change it up for your own families religious beliefs). Obviously, don't use the words "sleeping" or "resting" because then the child may think that if they go to sleep, they won't wake up either. Good luck and sorry about your kitty. (and fish!)

• 
• by
  • Little_bug
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 8:57 AM

• Thanks for the advice, I don't want my little girl's heart to break as mine is right now. 

  

• 
• by
  • kk_bella
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:01 AM

• My two year old understands death.

  I think you should give your daughter more credit. Sorry for the sad situation :(
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • ShannieP
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:07 AM

• Im so sorry for your loss. Our 13 year old cat passed away recently, it was so so hard!

  When my daughter (almost 3) asks where he is, I tell her he had to go away to HEaven. I tried to avoid telling her that he was sick, because (At her age) I am afraid she will think something will  happen to HER if she gets sick. She seems ok. She didnt cry or anything, but she is so young, I dont think she was emotionally attached. She DID notice he was gone and still sometimes asks where Shadow went. She also tells people "We dont have 2 kitties, we have 1 kitty" (breaks my heart everytime!!)

  As for your kitty, unless you can take him to the vet today, I think you may need to freeze him. That is, assuming you arent one of those people who would just throw him out with the garbage. Shadow passed on while he was at the vet, so we didnt have to deal with that.

  Again, Im sos orry.
  

  Quoting Little_bug:
  
  

  Thanks for the advice, I don't want my little girl's heart to break as mine is right now. 

  
  

  

• 
• by
  • ShannieP
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:09 AM

• oh, and I would tell her today. There is a very good chance that she is going to notice the changes in YOU, even if she doesnt notice the cat himself. It may put a damper on the day, but I think it will be ok. Perhaps, if you are going to be doing/seeing fireworks, you could make sure there is a special one, on honor of your kitty.  

  

• 
• by
  • Little_bug
  on Jul. 4, 2009 at 9:15 AM

• Thank you, I would NEVER put him in the trash, unfortunatly there is no room in our freezer, IDk what to do with him, I hope Banfield's in Petsmart will be open, IDk, though, no other vets I have seen are.  I will be driing over there @ 9am to find out(hope Hannah will not be up yet, but, she probably will be)

  Quoting ShannieP:
  
  

  Im so sorry for your loss. Our 13 year old cat passed away recently, it was so so hard!

  When my daughter (almost 3) asks where he is, I tell her he had to go away to HEaven. I tried to avoid telling her that he was sick, because (At her age) I am afraid she will think something will  happen to HER if she gets sick. She seems ok. She didnt cry or anything, but she is so young, I dont think she was emotionally attached. She DID notice he was gone and still sometimes asks where Shadow went. She also tells people "We dont have 2 kitties, we have 1 kitty" (breaks my heart everytime!!)

  As for your kitty, unless you can take him to the vet today, I think you may need to freeze him. That is, assuming you arent one of those people who would just throw him out with the garbage. Shadow passed on while he was at the vet, so we didnt have to deal with that.

  Again, Im sos orry.
  

  Quoting Little_bug:
  
  

  Thanks for the advice, I don't want my little girl's heart to break as mine is right now. 

  
  

   

  

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