How do I get over this?

[momofone221]

This week has been the worst week of my life. I caught my DH trying to cheat on me. He was talking/texting this girl every minute of the day for the past week. He completely came clean to me. His reason for doing it is bc Im no fun anymore. Whatever. Anyways, these were at some point very sexual texts, Im not sure exactly what was said as I dont want to know but he says it was "grimy". Ugh I feel sick.

So it took him 2 days to decide that he wants to be here with his family. They never had sex, I believe that. They wouldnt have a chance bc they were texting every minute and I looked for gaps in the phone bill.

But, Im not sure what I want. I mean how far would this have gone if I didnt catch it? I dont think I can be the same again. He was trying to cheat on me but got caught! He wasnt sure I was what he wanted!

I have no idea what to do. I have a son with him a house, 10yrs....Im a wreck. Any advice?

[ljsmamma07]

i know EXACTLY what you are feeling. i stayed(mostly because my mom talked me into it) but im happy i did. i told my hubby that if he wanted any chance with me still ALL communication had to stop and he is a open book for the rest of his life. he had to show me that he wanted to be with me and our kids. he really has changed for the better. but it took a while of me checking his phone, email, anything to START trusting him again.

only you know if you can handle it to stay in the relationship. i know that sounds stupid but its true. you have to decided your breaking point..is he sorry? does he show you that he loves you and wants to be with you? is he willing to work on the relationship? is he willing to admit that he has done wrong and this is his problem not yours? no matter what you did, there is no reason for someone to step out of the marrage, if he continues to blame you, i would be gone. but my hubby never did that so i dont know.

good luck hun. i know how much it hurts.

[momofone221]

bump...I really need advice....

[rudegurl87]

Wow!  This just happened to me, except my hubs went off with the girl and never came back.  My advice is t work on yourself.  Please remember that this is a malfunction in him-not you.  You can't control him, all you can do is love him, and hopefully, he will see the hurt an damage he has caused.  I wish you alll the best.  So sorry, honey.

[BrownEyedGirl86]

you really need to think, go out one day for coffee and just sit there and think, or have your husband take your children out while you stay home and sit and think. 
you need to figure out if YOU are able to look past this, and what he NEEDS to do --no debating its not option-- to get you to start to trust him again.

all communication with the female needs to stop, NOTHING, NO EXCUSES, NO SHE CALLED ME.

also if it was me why the hell did it take him 2 freaking days to figure out whether or not he wanted to make his family work. 

maybe you should start seeing a therapist to help find out what is better for YOU and the kids. 

and most importantly remember YOU DID NOTHING to make him turn to another woman, that is all on him HE did it HE is a big boy now HE needs to suck it up and take what comes when he plays these games

[Paesana82]

I've never been in this situation, so I can't say for sure what I would do, but as some of the PP said, only you can make this kind of decision.

I mean, assuming he is sorry and is willing to try to make things better, you have to figure out if you will be able to get past this. I've thought about what I would do in that situation and personally, I don't think I could get past it.....I'd be paranoid he was going to do it again, I'd basically never trust him again.....but that's me.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

[QTMakaylasMom]

I know how you feel. My so came home the other night and told me  he doesn't want to be with me anymore. We've been together almost 10 years, have a dd and a house.But our situation is a little different. He says that he can't deal with me anymore because I've been depressed for some time now.(which is true but I think it's a bunch of BS that he would leave me at my lowest point, but that's a different story) So I'm just going to move on. Get myself better, take care of my dd and eventually find someone that will love me for me no matter what.(He has cheated in the past and I chose to stay....HUGE mistake!)

You need to decide what you want. Take some time for you, think about what's important to you and follow through on whatever that may be. It has taken me a long time to figure out that I deserve better and even though I have been a SAHM since my dd was born, have no money, no car, no nothing, I have to do what's best. If I can do it, so can you! You deserve better than that, and I think you know that deep down in your heart. It's gonna hurt, guaranteed, but you can do it!!!