how do i stop

[oceandancer]

Hey ladies i have posted several posts on here about my dh cheating on me and then leaving me for the one he cheated on me with he even has gone as far as not helping with the kids he hardly ever calls them and could care less about us but i cant help but wonder what hes doing where he is is he alright is he taking care of himself i find myself remembering things that we used to do he has moved on why cant i  i miss him so much why do i feel like this how do i get past this we were together for almost ten years and we have four kids 11months 2 years 3 years and 5 years

[jillbailey26]

It doesn't matter where he is or what he's doing.  Once you start to wonder, tell yourself that you have no control over him and move on.  It'll be hard, but you can do it.

[miralerk]

You will always remember him because you have children together. Have you tried a hobby or something to keep you busy? The longer you are apart the easier it is. When you find someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved it makes it a lot easier too.

[desi_dylan_bri]

damn girl. i'm sorry. i've been through this too recently and the way i am coping is to keep myself busy and meet new people. i mostly just try to keep my mind off of it and as the days go by it will get easier and easier.

[oceandancer]

Quoting miralerk:

You will always remember him because you have children together. Have you tried a hobby or something to keep you busy? The longer you are apart the easier it is. When you find someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved it makes it a lot easier too.

i have tried the hobby thing me and the kids do gardening we go nature walking i work full time also so staying busy isnt a problem but i keep going back to him i miss him sooooo much i just wish i could get him off my mind

[oceandancer]

ladies please help any ideas?

[jillbailey26]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's going to take time.  Much like the death of a loved one, you have to mourn the death of a relationship.  Each day it'll get a little easier.

Quoting oceandancer:

ladies please help any ideas?

[Gwynyth]

Quoting jillbailey26:

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's going to take time.  Much like the death of a loved one, you have to mourn the death of a relationship.  Each day it'll get a little easier.

Quoting oceandancer:

ladies please help any ideas?

Give yourself time to heal!  It does get better!  Take care of yourself and don't get down on yourself for feeling the way you do! 

[NANA21]

So sorry that you are going through this. As others have said, it just takes TIME. Slowly, you will find yourself thinking of him a less each day.

Stay strong, and just cry when you need to, then think towards a happier future.  HUGS

[connietrrll]

My only advice would be to submerge yourself into your children's activities. Keep them doing things, and you will be busy. I have a husband so I am only speaking from a past experience with my first sons father. When I left him I kept myself involved in everything he did, when I wasn't working. I eventually got on with my own life and then met my husband of almost 18 years now. I was of course broke because my support was maybe $10-25 a week, and no one care for my son so that I could work over time. But, I took him to parks, taught him to ride a bike, went on very long walks, and sometimes we would just get in the car and drive with no destination. My son loved all the time we had together. He says nothing made him happier then to hear I had the day off from work, because we would find some sort of adventure. He still talks about it. He was maybe 4 and he is now 23. So it worked for us, maybe it will work for you.

[NANA21]

AND for fun, play a sappy song, cry, then play I WILL SURVIVE by Gloria Gaynor and dance and sing to it!!  You will hopefully find yourself laughing!