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Spinoff 30 reasons to feed your kids dairy

Korkor

posted to Newcomers Club - Active discussion in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Jul. 4, 2009 at 11:43 PM

  • 55 Replies
  • 746 Total Views

OK, before I get started this is a spoof.. in otherwords a joke playing off of something else... NOT SERIOUS.. Now that we have that settled lets get down to business

You should feed your kids dairy because

1. Oreos would get lonely without it!

2. people who drink milk get cool mustaches!!!

3. It does a body good!

4. The celebrities drink milk!

5. I said so

6. Less expensive than soy milk

7. People who eat dairy make better lists

8. people who eat dairy are better able to outrun the cops

9. PIZZA!!!!

10.  After 15 the kids tend to not take to well to the breast

11. Ice Cream

12. milk drinkers are better jump ropers

13. Milk drinkers have less heart burn

14. Milk drinkers are more musically inclined

15. milk drinkers find more nostril candy

16. because the doctor said so

17. because cake isn't the same without LOTS of frosting

18.  Because milk drinkers don't get abducted by aliens

19. Because dairy tastes good

20 because of MILK chocolate

21 because millions of calves CAN'T be wrong

22. because it's good for your skin

23. because a glass of warm milk puts them right to sleep

24. because milk drinkers are better bowlers

25. because it is natural

26. because they can do some WONDERFUL things with ice cream

27. Because my daughter is playing the drums on the paint can and singing "I'm in a better world" (she writes her own music) 

28.  Because cheese goes good with crackers

29 nachoes and CHEESE!!!

30.  Because if a cow isn't giving milk then it could be killed for beef.. Drink milk, save a cow..

Come on over and join my new group
http://www.cafemom.com/group/wishuponamom
Written by on Jul. 4, 2009 at 11:43 PM

Replies:


  • Hybrid
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 8:14 AM
  • because david beckhams abs said so!


  • vettechmom88
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:31 PM
  •  

    um, actually, it doesnt. the cows get milked over and over several times a day. if this were by hand, like farmer john was sitting on a stool milking elsie into a pail like they want you to imagine, that would be no problem.

    however, in reality they are milked by machines. the machines are very rough on the udders, and they rub the udders raw. that doesnt stop them from getting hooked up to the machines again in a few hours, though. so shortly those sores are open, oozing, and PUS-filled. guess where that pus goes? into the milk. thats why the cows are kept on perpetual antibiotics. http://www.milksucks.com/pus.asp

    Harvard School of Public Health, on the Consumption of Dairy Products (2005):
    “The recommendation to drink three glasses of low-fat milk or eat three servings of other dairy products per day to prevent osteoporosis is another step in the wrong direction. … Three glasses of low-fat milk add more than 300 calories a day. This is a real issue for the millions of Americans who are trying to control their weight. What's more, millions of Americans are lactose intolerant, and even small amounts of milk or dairy products give them stomachaches, gas, or other problems. This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis. It also ignores the possible increases in risk of ovarian cancer and prostate cancer associated with dairy products.”

     

     

    Cow's milk is the number one source of allergies in children, and research links consumption of dairy products, including cow's milk, to colic (stomach cramps), autism, chronic ear infections, insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus (type 1 or "juvenile-onset" diabetes), acne, obesity, flatulence, constipation, mucus, and a variety of other ailments.

    got milk? then ask yourself about these:

     breast cancer-http://www.milksucks.com/breast.asp, prostate cancer-
    http://www.milksucks.com/prostate.asp, heart disease-http://www.milksucks.com/heartdisease.asp, osteoporosishttp://www.milksucks.com/osteo.asp, fat-http://www.milksucks.com/fat.asp, zits-http://www.milksucks.com/zits.asp, gas-http://www.milksucks.com/gas.asp, mucus-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp, constipation-http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/339/16/1100, chronic ear infections- http://www.milksucks.com/babyear.asp, insulin dependant diabetes-http://www.milksucks.com/babydiab.asp, colic- http://www.milksucks.com/babycolic.asp, or allergies-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp

    Quoting luvmyparties:

    Milk drinkers save cows from mastitis! No sore udders is our mission!

     

     

     

    "Never judge a man by how he treats his peers, judge him by how he treats his inferiors." ~ Albus Dumbledore




  • kk_bella
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:32 PM
  • LOL

    Cows milk is disgusting but that was a cute idea :)


  • sweetnsassymami
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:33 PM
  • yeah i'm going to take a webiste called milksucks seriously LMAO

    Quoting vettechmom88:


    um, actually, it doesnt. the cows get milked over and over several times a day. if this were by hand, like farmer john was sitting on a stool milking elsie into a pail like they want you to imagine, that would be no problem.

    however, in reality they are milked by machines. the machines are very rough on the udders, and they rub the udders raw. that doesnt stop them from getting hooked up to the machines again in a few hours, though. so shortly those sores are open, oozing, and PUS-filled. guess where that pus goes? into the milk. thats why the cows are kept on perpetual antibiotics.

    Harvard School of Public Health, on the Consumption of Dairy Products (2005):
    “The recommendation to drink three glasses of low-fat milk or eat three servings of other dairy products per day to prevent osteoporosis is another step in the wrong direction. … Three glasses of low-fat milk add more than 300 calories a day. This is a real issue for the millions of Americans who are trying to control their weight. What's more, millions of Americans are lactose intolerant, and even small amounts of milk or dairy products give them stomachaches, gas, or other problems. This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis. It also ignores the possible increases in risk of ovarian cancer and prostate cancer associated with dairy products.”



    Cow's milk is the number one source of allergies in children, and research links consumption of dairy products, including cow's milk, to colic (stomach cramps), autism, chronic ear infections, insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus (type 1 or "juvenile-onset" diabetes), acne, obesity, flatulence, constipation, mucus, and a variety of other ailments.

    got milk? then ask yourself about these:

     breast cancer-http://www.milksucks.com/breast.asp, prostate cancer-
    http://www.milksucks.com/prostate.asp, heart disease-http://www.milksucks.com/heartdisease.asp, osteoporosishttp://www.milksucks.com/osteo.asp, fat-http://www.milksucks.com/fat.asp, zits-http://www.milksucks.com/zits.asp, gas-http://www.milksucks.com/gas.asp, mucus-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp, constipation-http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/339/16/1100, chronic ear infections- http://www.milksucks.com/babyear.asp, insulin dependant diabetes-http://www.milksucks.com/babydiab.asp, colic- http://www.milksucks.com/babycolic.asp, or allergies-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp

    Quoting luvmyparties:

    Milk drinkers save cows from mastitis! No sore udders is our mission!






  • kk_bella
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:33 PM

  • Quoting luvmyparties:

    Need a tissue? I am glad you support our movement.

    Other reasons to drink milk...

    Because we do not have milk-aholics anonymous yet.... so there is no quitting for us.

    Because what the hell else are dairy cows gonna do all day if nobody milks them!


    Quoting Korkor:

    ah yes I have read this in my legal magazines.. BIG decrease in claims in milking communities.... Makes me feel so good to know I am stopping that... Just a moment while I wipe the tears away..

    There now all better...

    Quoting luvmyparties:

    A recent study shows that sexual harassment claims by cows against bulls have decreased due to consistent milking techniques. Apparently bulls like big swollen udders. Milking cows regularly makes big udders less likely. You too can fight the war against cow sex crimes by drinking milk!



    LMFAO


  • kk_bella
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:34 PM

  • Quoting sweetnsassymami:

    yeah i'm going to take a webiste called milksucks seriously LMAO

    Quoting vettechmom88:


    um, actually, it doesnt. the cows get milked over and over several times a day. if this were by hand, like farmer john was sitting on a stool milking elsie into a pail like they want you to imagine, that would be no problem.

    however, in reality they are milked by machines. the machines are very rough on the udders, and they rub the udders raw. that doesnt stop them from getting hooked up to the machines again in a few hours, though. so shortly those sores are open, oozing, and PUS-filled. guess where that pus goes? into the milk. thats why the cows are kept on perpetual antibiotics.

    Harvard School of Public Health, on the Consumption of Dairy Products (2005):
    “The recommendation to drink three glasses of low-fat milk or eat three servings of other dairy products per day to prevent osteoporosis is another step in the wrong direction. … Three glasses of low-fat milk add more than 300 calories a day. This is a real issue for the millions of Americans who are trying to control their weight. What's more, millions of Americans are lactose intolerant, and even small amounts of milk or dairy products give them stomachaches, gas, or other problems. This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis. It also ignores the possible increases in risk of ovarian cancer and prostate cancer associated with dairy products.”



    Cow's milk is the number one source of allergies in children, and research links consumption of dairy products, including cow's milk, to colic (stomach cramps), autism, chronic ear infections, insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus (type 1 or "juvenile-onset" diabetes), acne, obesity, flatulence, constipation, mucus, and a variety of other ailments.

    got milk? then ask yourself about these:

     breast cancer-http://www.milksucks.com/breast.asp, prostate cancer-
    http://www.milksucks.com/prostate.asp, heart disease-http://www.milksucks.com/heartdisease.asp, osteoporosishttp://www.milksucks.com/osteo.asp, fat-http://www.milksucks.com/fat.asp, zits-http://www.milksucks.com/zits.asp, gas-http://www.milksucks.com/gas.asp, mucus-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp, constipation-http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/339/16/1100, chronic ear infections- http://www.milksucks.com/babyear.asp, insulin dependant diabetes-http://www.milksucks.com/babydiab.asp, colic- http://www.milksucks.com/babycolic.asp, or allergies-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp

    Quoting luvmyparties:

    Milk drinkers save cows from mastitis! No sore udders is our mission!





    http://milksucks.com/


  • luvmyparties
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:46 PM
  • UM, actually, you do realize that this post is a joke, as in HAHA funny? As in whoa there little fella kick back?

    Quoting vettechmom88:

     

    um, actually, it doesnt. the cows get milked over and over several times a day. if this were by hand, like farmer john was sitting on a stool milking elsie into a pail like they want you to imagine, that would be no problem.

    however, in reality they are milked by machines. the machines are very rough on the udders, and they rub the udders raw. that doesnt stop them from getting hooked up to the machines again in a few hours, though. so shortly those sores are open, oozing, and PUS-filled. guess where that pus goes? into the milk. thats why the cows are kept on perpetual antibiotics. http://www.milksucks.com/pus.asp

    Harvard School of Public Health, on the Consumption of Dairy Products (2005):
    “The recommendation to drink three glasses of low-fat milk or eat three servings of other dairy products per day to prevent osteoporosis is another step in the wrong direction. … Three glasses of low-fat milk add more than 300 calories a day. This is a real issue for the millions of Americans who are trying to control their weight. What's more, millions of Americans are lactose intolerant, and even small amounts of milk or dairy products give them stomachaches, gas, or other problems. This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis. It also ignores the possible increases in risk of ovarian cancer and prostate cancer associated with dairy products.”

     

     

    Cow's milk is the number one source of allergies in children, and research links consumption of dairy products, including cow's milk, to colic (stomach cramps), autism, chronic ear infections, insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus (type 1 or "juvenile-onset" diabetes), acne, obesity, flatulence, constipation, mucus, and a variety of other ailments.

    got milk? then ask yourself about these:

     breast cancer-http://www.milksucks.com/breast.asp, prostate cancer-
    http://www.milksucks.com/prostate.asp, heart disease-http://www.milksucks.com/heartdisease.asp, osteoporosishttp://www.milksucks.com/osteo.asp, fat-http://www.milksucks.com/fat.asp, zits-http://www.milksucks.com/zits.asp, gas-http://www.milksucks.com/gas.asp, mucus-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp, constipation-http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/339/16/1100, chronic ear infections- http://www.milksucks.com/babyear.asp, insulin dependant diabetes-http://www.milksucks.com/babydiab.asp, colic- http://www.milksucks.com/babycolic.asp, or allergies-http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp

    Quoting luvmyparties:

    Milk drinkers save cows from mastitis! No sore udders is our mission!

     

     

     


  • Angelbluewingsz
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 4:22 PM
  • you forgot one -

    Cuz Crackas like me can't handle salsa without it  !!!!!!  


  • raine.arnesen
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 4:31 PM
  • HAHA! Loved it, my favorite was #1, it is SO true! :)


  • retsillacam
  • by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 4:34 PM
  • and I personally refuse to eat crackers without cheese on them and a big old cup of moo juice on the side! that's my before bed snack!!!


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