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pre marital counseling?? Please HELP!!

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:18 AM
  • 9 Replies

So my fiance and I have been talking about getting married a lot lately. But here in the past couple of weeks I've been having second thoughts because all we have been doing is arguing about HIM! I'm never good enough and all he does is complain about this I did or didnt do. He's always out partying until about 4 am the next morning. And if I bitch about him coming home shit faced he says he never gets to go out with his friends because I always bitch. Well it bothers me because he's out until 4 or later in the MORNING comes home DRUNK and DROVE HOME! And the next morning when he FINALLY wakes up he doesnt even remember the night before. So what if he would of gotten into a wreck and died?? How am I supposed to explain to my 15 month old and my bun in the oven that daddy isnt gana be coming home anymore?? Yea, not possible.. So now I'm doing the only thing possible and I want us to get some counseling because if we dont I dont know how much longer I'm going to be able to stay in the relationship and if it ends it wont be pretty at all.. So does anyone know where I can look to find a premarital or couples counselor? I live about 45 minutes south of Dallas, TX.

Please someone help me I'm about to SNAP on this man!! Not really but still..

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:18 AM
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Replies (1-9):
richgirljj
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:22 AM

You can look up counseling services with your insurance, in the phone book, or online.

You can also check with a local church.

However, why are you with this guy?

Kelli.and.Ellie
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:24 AM

 hey sounds like my DF, maybe they should be friends together!!! haha

tonight we were out for fireworks and stuff....(he was drinking a bit and i didnt mind)

my mom was gna pick up our 20mo old dd around like 11 (it was 10) she ended up not thou bcuz my dd was tired and i told her she couldnt..lol

ANYWAYS!!! i was like hey why dont u come home with us until my mom picks ellie up and then we can go back out together...and hes like WHY, CANT I HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT YOU!? i simply told him it would be easier and WAY nicer for him to just go home with me it wait an hour then we can both go back out together so i dont have to go searching for you.....his jackass decides to say to his friend "well i guess she has the whip on me so.. (and rolls his eyes)" and his friend was even like, well its not even that i understands where shes coming from...he was going to let me walk a good half mile back to the car with our 20mo old dd and being 10weeks pregnant. i told him to fuck off and left....he came after me for a little bit and asked me why i always need him with me...he is just as asshole at times, no common sense!!!

punching

 



 

Kimora_neko
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:28 AM

try chruches. we had to take "classes" before we could get married

army simple smilebaby girl    

Husband                        Me                         Lizzy                    

                                                                   (11 months)             

come home



KBM99
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:29 AM

Sometimes I wonder the same thing.. But we have a 15 month old and a baby on the way and I'm not going to be able to afford a place until October and then I'm due in December.. So I'm kind of stuck.. :-\

Quoting richgirljj:

You can look up counseling services with your insurance, in the phone book, or online.

You can also check with a local church.

However, why are you with this guy?


KBM99
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:33 AM

Yea my SO is an asshole at times too and sometimes he can be soo sweet.. I just dont understand what pushes his buttons at times?? Girl at least he was with you tonight my SO didnt go with me because he had a beer pong tournament with friends.. Even though last night I let him go out with his friends because tonight he was supposed to be with me and my family but he ended up canceling.. Which I pretty much knew would happen (it always does) this counseling is my last resort though and if this doesnt work then I'm leaving with BOTH of my kids and I'm getting the hell away from him.

Quoting Kelli.and.Ellie:

 hey sounds like my DF, maybe they should be friends together!!! haha

tonight we were out for fireworks and stuff....(he was drinking a bit and i didnt mind)

my mom was gna pick up our 20mo old dd around like 11 (it was 10) she ended up not thou bcuz my dd was tired and i told her she couldnt..lol

ANYWAYS!!! i was like hey why dont u come home with us until my mom picks ellie up and then we can go back out together...and hes like WHY, CANT I HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT YOU!? i simply told him it would be easier and WAY nicer for him to just go home with me it wait an hour then we can both go back out together so i dont have to go searching for you.....his jackass decides to say to his friend "well i guess she has the whip on me so.. (and rolls his eyes)" and his friend was even like, well its not even that i understands where shes coming from...he was going to let me walk a good half mile back to the car with our 20mo old dd and being 10weeks pregnant. i told him to fuck off and left....he came after me for a little bit and asked me why i always need him with me...he is just as asshole at times, no common sense!!!

punching


KBM99
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:34 AM

I really dont want to do a church one. Nothing against god or churches because we REALLY need to start going to church again but I dont want to do church counseling..

Quoting Kimora_neko:

try chruches. we had to take "classes" before we could get married


AbbeyRoosMommy
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:38 AM

Look in the phone book. I'd stay away from the church, unless it's run by a married couple ... so they know what a real marriage and it's problems and situations are like. Just a bit of advice ...  It's rare that people change, (some can!) their behaviors and attitudes just become more and more severe as they age. Set in their ways so to speak. If you are not happy now, and who would be, why submit yourself to a lifetime of this and maybe worse? It's out of respect for you that he would be home in time for bed, and not drunk, if he goes out once a week with the guys. It would also be a wise move to NOT drive if drinking .... that's just common sense. I hope you get things worked out. HUGS, Christine

KBM99
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 1:47 AM

Yes I agree and I told him I was fine with him going out every once in a while but then it starts getting worse and worse. And I was fine with him going out and getting home at around midnight but NOT 4 am thats just CRAZY!!  I'm 18 have a 15 month old and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my next.. It sucks saying this but why in the world is some guy going to want to date me.. If me and my SO do end things I dont plan on dating for a while and I will be screwed big time. He makes ALL the money I pretty much go to school and work part time. Yes school is paid for and I get about 3,000 dollars back a semester maybe even more but that wont take care of me and two kids. And I'm already on medicaid and I've never been on any other type of government assitance and I would really like to not be just because I hate depending on those things.. And I dont want my SO trying to fight me for custody because he does make all the money..

Quoting AbbeyRoosMommy:

Look in the phone book. I'd stay away from the church, unless it's run by a married couple ... so they know what a real marriage and it's problems and situations are like. Just a bit of advice ...  It's rare that people change, (some can!) their behaviors and attitudes just become more and more severe as they age. Set in their ways so to speak. If you are not happy now, and who would be, why submit yourself to a lifetime of this and maybe worse? It's out of respect for you that he would be home in time for bed, and not drunk, if he goes out once a week with the guys. It would also be a wise move to NOT drive if drinking .... that's just common sense. I hope you get things worked out. HUGS, Christine


KBM99
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 2:08 AM

bump??

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