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what would you do?

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:44 PM
  • 28 Replies

In 14 weeks my husband will deploy four days after i am induced. My mother and brother have offered to come up while i am in the hospital and then drive me and my animals and everything back to texas to spend the holidays and the remainder of joel's deployment with them and the rest of my family. Then my brother will drive with me back up here and then fly home. All i would have to do is get someone to shovel the snow and watch my fish.

The reasoning. I have NO one up here. At all. all my family and friends are back in my hometown. The friends i made up here will all have moved by then or be deployed. So it would be me daniel (who will be 21 months then), the new baby, and the animals snowed in most the winter.

But joel hates this idea. he wants me to stay here while he is gone because... well his reasoning is "it would just be easier with all of our stuff here".... that's the most resoning he will give me. But something else he doesn't understand is that my hometown is still like a second home to me. I feel just as much at home there as i do in my house. Ya know?

So would you go? or would you stay at home?



toddler boystorkamerican flag ribbonair force

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:46 PM

Honestly, I'd stay in your home.  The thing is, life with a new baby is all about developing routines and things- you can't do that in someone elses home. 



by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:47 PM

i would go...why would he want you to stay alone?

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:48 PM

I would go home personally.  Find someone your trust that will be around at least most of the time you are gone and have them stop by once in a while so the house looks lived in.  It's hard having your other half deployed as it is, doing it with 2 kids and pets makes it that much harder. 

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:49 PM

i am going through the same situation.  I choose to go home.  My son is ten months old.  I sat here the entire I was pregnant alone and it sucks.  DO what will make life easiest for you.  He will come around to the idea.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:51 PM

He has to leave right after baby? They should have given him more time to stay with you and baby... He should look into that. But I agree that you should establish a routine. Life with a new baby is crazy enough as it is but at least once that is in place you can always take trips and go visit so your not so lonely.... I hope everything works out for you! :-)

by Ruby Member on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:51 PM

I would go with your mom.  Having support with a new baby, not to mention a 2 year old is sooo important.  I'm sure he is just worried about being left out.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:51 PM

my ex deployed right after i had my first child and i went home to family when he was gone for 3 mos. didnt see any sense in sitting alone in an apt with new baby when i could be with family. if u want to go, then go.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:51 PM

Go. I spent 2 years alone in a different place with no family and it was awful. With the new baby you will appreciate the help and companionship. I see his point but he also needs to think about the saftey issues.. what if something happened and you didn't have anyone to help you? Good Luck!!

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:52 PM

I too live in a different state than my family (me: Colorado... them: Illinois).  If I were in your situation, I would go home.  Maybe not for the whole deployment, but definitely for a few weeks or so to have a little extra helping hands with the new baby.  As long as you are able to find someone who can watch your house for you, I don't see any reason you shouldn't be able to do that.

by on Jul. 5, 2009 at 6:52 PM

 I stayed at home. I had family that wanted me to move to CT or NV to spend the year there, but honestly it is so much easier staying put, especially with a new baby. Yeah, here sucks (also in Texas) but I try to make the best of it.

I am a breastfeeding, pro-choice, vaccinating, Turbo Jamming,
disposable diaper using, cio sometimes, cat loving, dieting, married
and love my husband
Army wife and mom.

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