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What do your kids call step-dad?? At what age do they call him 'Dad'??

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:17 AM
  • 95 Replies

My kids are 5, 3 and 1. My ds is the bio-dad of teh youngest. Bio-dad for the older ones left when they were 21 and 5 months so they do not remember him being here. they do know him, but he lives in another city and only sees on school breaks. He has not seen them sence April, and is supposed to be gone for a couple years.

They call dh by his first name. He's the only dad they have lived with and has been around most of their lives. I just wonder how it all works once the baby starts talking and calling him dad.

I have explained - in detail - the relationship of everyone to my oldest. She understands step-dad, half-sister, step-sister and so on. (Her bio-dad made that conversation nessessary)

Anyway - I refer to dh as 'your dad' and she'll correct me and say step-dad. I wonder if he/I should tell her its ok to call him dad or just let them call him whatever.

What did you / your kids do???

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:22 AM

Do your older kids like him? Love him? Get along with him?

Everyone I know that has had a step dad in their lives since they were very small called their step dad 'dad'.

I call my step dad my 'step dad'. I don't like him or love him and I don't get along with him. My parents tried to make us call him dad but I have a dad, a real dad. A really good dad.

THAT is why I never called my step dad dad.

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:37 AM

I have never been in this situation


by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:40 AM

 i wouldn't worry about it, if she doesn't want to call him dad then I wouldn't try to make can tell her it's ok to call him dad, then leave it up to fiance's son calls me by my first name, im not sure if he really knows what exactly a step mom is yet...i would rather him just call me by my first name


by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:42 AM

With me, my dad remarried when I was like 21, so I call my step-mom by her first name.  My children call her Nani (they call my mom and my DH's mom Grandma). 

My sister however, is in the same situation as you.  My niece's father has been in and out of the picture since she was born, she calls her real father by his first name and her step-dad is Daddy (she is 6).  She has always called her step-dad Dad.  I don't believe that anyone has ever explained to her that Joe is her step-dad and Will is her real Dad though.

I am a baby-wearing, vaccinating, country music loving, Obama supporting, WI Badger loving, bull-headed, strong-willed, pro choice, tattooed, pierced, stay at home momma of two absolutely gorgeous girls.  I have opinions...and I'm entitled to them!

in love             blowing bubbles              baby girl

Justin & Michele 9/16/02    Aubrey Michele 12/22/02    Gracey McKenna 1/7/08

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:45 AM

i have been with SO since DS was 2 months old. he calls him daddy and dada was his first word.

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:46 AM

also, bio dad has not been in the picture or heard from since i found out i was pregnant

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:46 AM

My mom got with my step dad hen I was 9. I have always called him by his first name. My son calls my DH "hon" only because when he first met him, my ds was just starting to learn how to talk. He couldn't pronounce "Dan".

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:46 AM

While the relationship your oldest has with her father isn't ideal, its still there. I understand that you husband does more "fatherly" things with her & is there but there is still a little bit of a relationship with her bio-dad. In this case, I think having her call your husband dad is a little disrespectful to her bio-dad & it doesn't seem like she want to call him that anyway.

Let her make the decision on what to call your husband by herself. She may start calling him dad someday & she may not. Either way, it should be able what she feels comfortable with.

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:49 AM

Let her call him Step dad, what does it hurt? Why push your child to do something they don;t want? That's not her dad and she will resent you is you force her to cal hime dad. To be honest, tha's one of my pet peeves. Every child has a right to know their bio dad, even if now they aren't in their life and YOU think they are bad, they still are the kids dad!

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:49 AM

 If your kids are more comfortable calling him by his first name or calling him "step-dad", then leave it at that.  Don't even bring up the fact of calling him Dad, if they want to, they will.

I absolutely HATE my "step-dad".  I don't even like calling him "step-dad".  I don't even like talking about that worthless ....

Anyways, my mother would never dare ask me to call him Dad because I despise him and I would of hated for her to even bring up the fact.  Advice to you, leave it alone.  They will call him Dad when they feel it is necessary.  My daughter is 2 years old and does not know why she calls my SO Dada ... she just does it because she wants to.  He is always here, and she never sees her biofather.  He is the one that feeds her and puts her to bed at night.  Eventually she will learn that he is not her real father and if she decides not to call him Dad or Dada anymore, than I will totally support her because I was in her shoes more than once.

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