Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Im afraid im slowly losing my mom to painkillers, any help? =(

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:06 AM
  • 9 Replies

 So, my mom started having neck problems around 2000 and saw a doctor about it, found out she had a bulging disk that was putting pressure on her nerves so the doctor opted to fuse her neck, my mom agreed (not knowing any better mind you). After the operation my mom was unable to return to work because she couldnt turn her neck and, being a secretary at the time, could no longer do her job. Well, the pain never went away, only got worse. She went to a new doctor who told her she had THREE bulging disks and two of them were being agrevated by the metal in her neck (there was one on top and one on the bottom pushing against the metal). So in after trying to sue the original doctor (she was in the right, not him) and losing, in 2005 she had her neck refused. Well, that didnt help either... now its putting a ton of pressure on her neck, spine, and nerves. The newest x-ray from this year is showing one of the screws is in the wrong place and she may need another, third, surgery.

Now, you can only imagine how many different pills she is on. At least 3 different pain killers, anti sezure meds (for muscle spasms), anti anxiety, methadone (so she doesnt DT), the list goes on but I cant remember them all...

I have noticed that she is... losing it lately. I mean, she can still function, but some of the things she does and says is... off. I know its because of the pills. She is only 47, way too young for what she is going through. Im worried about her health, mentally and physically. She wants to watch my DD starting soon (since shes a toddler now and can do things by herself) but my mom isnt suppose to be lifting her (but she does), while I was in the hospital after having the baby, my mom stayed here to watch my DD and fed her AT LEAST 2 fiber bars a day... my DD has never sh*t so much in her short life!! My poor SO had to change her diaper and my mom didnt see the problem with this. She feeds my DD things she shouldnt eat and lets her do things she shouldnt do (not to mention she couldnt dress her to save her life, they came to the hospital in a blue boys shirt, a yellow flower skirt, and two different sandels!!). Ugh. I dont know what to do. She shouldnt be driving because of the meds, but she does anyways... im pretty sure one day she is going to crash. The doctors have already told her if her neck turns the wrong way... thats it... instant death =(.

If you are still reading this, I thank you... I know its long... but im so afraid of losing my mom and I want her to be in her grandchildrens lives... but its hard to trust her when she is slowly slipping away.



by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:06 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
mama2madi.n.max
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:13 AM

 FIrst of all, Methadone does that to people. Makes them loopy and all, and it is highly addictive. As far as the painkillers/medicines go, see if you can go to the doctor with her one day and talk to him about it. Also you could try an intervention. I do believe that she seems to be on too many medications.

Also, as far as her feeding your daughter and doing things she shouldn't..my mom is the same way. She will feed my daughter ice cream sandwiches for dinner just so she doesn't have to cook. I think it's a grandparent thing!

GOod luck, and i hope things get better, I wish I had more advice.

mom2gr8tgirls
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:17 AM

I'll start by saying I am so sorry for what your family is going through and that I can't offer any real advice.  My mom is in a similar situation (bulging discs in her back, breast cancer twice), so I do understand what you're going through.  Unfortunately, it sounds like she can't be taken off the meds, maybe she could speak with her doctors to find a different cocktail that doesn't impair her judgement as much.  My mom has went through a lot of different meds to find a combo that helps her live a relatively normal life.  Good luck and here's a big <<HUG>> for you!

I am a baby-wearing, vaccinating, country music loving, Obama supporting, WI Badger loving, bull-headed, strong-willed, pro choice, tattooed, pierced, stay at home momma of two absolutely gorgeous girls.  I have opinions...and I'm entitled to them!



in love             blowing bubbles              baby girl


Justin & Michele 9/16/02    Aubrey Michele 12/22/02    Gracey McKenna 1/7/08

ballerinamom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:18 AM

I know what you are going through.. I have family with the same addiction but they never needed the pills just did them for recreation.. I wish I could give you the advice you needed but my family is still trying to figure out what to do.. I definitely would not let your mom keep DD. I would explain your concerns to her and maybe that could atleast be a part of a wake up call. My mother was on pain pills and muscle relaxers for a while and had to quit taking them because she realised that she was becoming dependant and the pills were also causing her depression. When she quit she found that the pain was a lot less and almost gone.. I think that the withdrawals from Opiates may cause you to feel more pain than there really is. I dont know if any of this has made any since.. But I hope your mom can find a doctor who can help her to find alternative pain relief.

tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:19 AM

thank you, my mom called me practically in tears the other day because her doc didnt put her methadone script in on time and she MIGHT run out... it really sucks watching her go through this and not being able to do anything. She knows shes on too many meds and wants to downsize, but she really cant function without them... she can barely move if she forgets to take a dose. =(

Quoting mama2madi.n.max:

 FIrst of all, Methadone does that to people. Makes them loopy and all, and it is highly addictive. As far as the painkillers/medicines go, see if you can go to the doctor with her one day and talk to him about it. Also you could try an intervention. I do believe that she seems to be on too many medications.

Also, as far as her feeding your daughter and doing things she shouldn't..my mom is the same way. She will feed my daughter ice cream sandwiches for dinner just so she doesn't have to cook. I think it's a grandparent thing!

GOod luck, and i hope things get better, I wish I had more advice.


Swtmama62205
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:24 AM

 what a hard situation... because she does need the pain pills but how do you regulate that?  Its like giving a heroin addicted small doses of heroin.  Could your mom get a nurse to stay with her and the nurse can give her meds when needed and stuff and keep an eye on her?  But with her driving and stuff shes going to kill her self and someone else...I dunno hun...good luck im sorry this must be so hard

SAHM to two little boys Noah 4 and Andrew 2 And a loving wife to Ryan=)



Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker
CafeMom Tickers

CafeMom Tickers
tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:24 AM

she has talked to her doc and has gone from... jeez like 8 different pain meds/muscle relaxers to a much smaller amount... thats what the anti-sezuire med is for... to replace some narcotics she was on. Its nice to know im not alone... but it sucks at the same time because there ARE other people going through this.

Quoting mom2gr8tgirls:

I'll start by saying I am so sorry for what your family is going through and that I can't offer any real advice.  My mom is in a similar situation (bulging discs in her back, breast cancer twice), so I do understand what you're going through.  Unfortunately, it sounds like she can't be taken off the meds, maybe she could speak with her doctors to find a different cocktail that doesn't impair her judgement as much.  My mom has went through a lot of different meds to find a combo that helps her live a relatively normal life.  Good luck and here's a big <> for you!


tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:28 AM

this is what im really afraid of. She lives an hour away out in the country but tries to drive over here by herself after taking her meds. SO also told me she took some pills while driving with DD in the car, thankfully it was only a 5 minute drive home... but still...

Quoting Swtmama62205:

 what a hard situation... because she does need the pain pills but how do you regulate that?  Its like giving a heroin addicted small doses of heroin.  Could your mom get a nurse to stay with her and the nurse can give her meds when needed and stuff and keep an eye on her?  But with her driving and stuff shes going to kill her self and someone else...I dunno hun...good luck im sorry this must be so hard


mommysasha1988
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:32 AM

Call Intervention!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm watching it right now & the girl is addicted to all different kinds of pills.

My grandpa has had both of his hips replaced and is on pain pills and I think he's addicted, it's tough.

I'd talk your mom into going to a new doctor, just who ever she can find that will do something about this. 

I'm a non-married, epidural birthing, breast-milk bottle feeding, co-sleeping, delayed vaccinating, non-circumsizing, cloth diapering kinda mom.  I will stay at home, rear-face, public school, and spank if necessary.  I'm pro-choice, democratic, athiest, and all for world peace.  I support gay rights, I'm not racist, & I believe we were all created equal.  My son is my life, he makes my heart melt.  So, now that we got that outta the way...it's nice to meet you!
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born." -Rajneesh
Trying to lose weight?  Already lost it?
Come join
Moms Helping Moms Lose Weight.

clb24
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:50 AM

My mom has been doing that for 20 yrs. if you try to tell her anything your wrong and she is right no matter what it is. The pills have effected her brain and everywhere else. When i was 18 i took her meds away cause she would get her monthly script and within the frist week it would be gone she would stay F up all week. So i took them and gave them to her liked she was suppose to get them and i got hell for it. I was the worest daughter in the world she called me every name in the book. I even went to her doc. and told him what i was doing and why. He agreed with me and i still caught hell from her. MY whole family has gotten involed with her but she will never really see. She has been doing alot better since i have had my daughter she knows if i find out and i will that she has been F up while she is there i will take her away and she will not get to see her. Yes its harsh but i have to do what is best for my daughter, So if any of this is going on and she has to have her meds. lkie mine does all you can do is have it out with her go to her doc. tke them away and give them to her. Then if that doesn't work tell her you will not hve effect your kids and they will not come around unless you are with them. Its a hard dose of reality but it might work. good luck.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)