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I shouldn't even be upset about this, but Ughh!

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM
  • 10 Replies

So a little background info: When I was 7 or 8 my mom and dad filed for a divorce. Well some kids are deeply hurt by this, but it was the best day of my life! My dad was very abusive to my mom: always punching, kicking, and screaming at her over nothing! It was terrible to see that everyday and I was glad it was going to be over! So, not even a week later my dad was with someone else (turns out he had been cheating on my mom). This girl was only 9 years older than me! Well a couple months later my dad started making excuses why he couldnt come pick me up for his weekend visits, and soon after that he would come when and if he had time for me! Well I tried not to let it bring me down, I was really mature for a 8 year old.! Fast forward a 11 years and our relationship has improved a little, but not much! Well I got pregnant and thought when my dads first grandchild got here it would be different with her! I thought he'd want the chance to watch her grow up! But, boy was I wrong! He never come to see her! She's 9 months old and he's probably been to my house to see her 5 times. So heres the part that really irks me! Last night at 10pm my 10 year old stepbrother (stepmoms son) shows up at my door, says he came to visit Alyvia (my dd). I asked him how he got here and he walked! His house is all the way across town, so here it would be about a 10 min drive! My dad was at his house! He never offered to give Austin a ride to my house or even mentioned coming with him to see Alyvia! We haven't even seen him for about 2-3 months now!

 

 


 

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mirandar2001
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:55 AM

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 

vegepunkstr
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 9:58 AM

Sounds like someone that is better off not being in you or your dd lives.


mommy1008
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:03 AM

I know and I try to think of it like that, it's just so hard!

Quoting mirandar2001:

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 


 


 

mommy1008
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:04 AM

Probably so, One day he came over after not comin for a month or two and tried to hold dd and she screamed! It was horrible!

Quoting vegepunkstr:

Sounds like someone that is better off not being in you or your dd lives.


 


 

POOKA123
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:24 AM


Quoting mirandar2001:

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 

I say the same thing, but also the door swings both way, if you guys are guys or even if you want a relationship with him, you move towards him, and then if you see he could careless, step away, make him come to you.

lizmarie1975
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:28 AM

My mother lives 5 minutes away from me and I haven't heard from or seen her since February of this year.  Obviously we're estranged.

At first it bothered me, but you know what?  I'm not missing out on anything.  My kids aren't missing out on anything...can't miss out on what you don't know, right?  She made her choice, it's up to her to live with it.



phoenixdreamer
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:30 AM

sweetheart...i don't intend for this to come out as mean, but as someone who has a parent like this...and my dad is also a raging alcoholic and unfortunately my parents are still together...i'm going to tell you what i realized when i was a little girl and still have to tell my mom...that bastard doesn't care about you.. it's sad but he doesn't.  everything is about him and always will be..nothing will ever change him, unless he wants to change and it's not gonna happen.  you can have all the hope in the world, but you can't let him ruin your life...he wants to miss out on some of the most important things in life, that's his choice...there is nothing you could of done to prevent it, and nothing you did wrong.  you have every right to be upset cuz it is a shitty thing.  an experience like that makes you learn to be a better stronger person...or just like them....and i know you have become a better person for it, and will never let it happen to your children.

scootermom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:44 AM


Quoting mirandar2001:

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 


Honestly my first response when reading your post is to say if he dosen't want to be a part of your life, and your daughter's life than that's his loss!!! He'll figure out one of these days that he made a big mistake not wanting to be in your life or your daughter's.  Yes it's a two way street and you could try to get him in your life.  If it was me i'd maybe give it a little bit of time and try to see if he is just is afraid of hurting or something, and that's why he's staying away or if he just dosen't want to be in your life.  If it's the latter yes it will be hard, but like i said in the end it will be his loss in not having you and your daughter in his life.

mommy1008
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:12 AM

I've done my part in trying to establish a relationship. I invite him over for dinner, ask him when he will be home so we can come visit and either a) he's too busy or b) he never responds!

Quoting POOKA123:

 

Quoting mirandar2001:

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 

I say the same thing, but also the door swings both way, if you guys are guys or even if you want a relationship with him, you move towards him, and then if you see he could careless, step away, make him come to you.


 


 

POOKA123
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:16 AM


Quoting mommy1008:

I've done my part in trying to establish a relationship. I invite him over for dinner, ask him when he will be home so we can come visit and either a) he's too busy or b) he never responds!

Quoting POOKA123:

 

Quoting mirandar2001:

I'm sorry your Dad has to be that way. But look, he just doesn't know what he's missing out on. It will come back to haunt him one day. 

I say the same thing, but also the door swings both way, if you guys are guys or even if you want a relationship with him, you move towards him, and then if you see he could careless, step away, make him come to you.

 

I'm sorry, wish i could help. Good Luck

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