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im new and need to vent edited

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 5:39 PM
  • 6 Replies

hi i am elizabeth and i am 22. i am getting married this friday and have an almost 1 year old dd named lexi. i really need to let off some steam because i feel so hurt. my "bff" was suppose to be my maid of honor but since her husband didnt feel comfortable with the dress i picked out she decided not to wear it, and i kicked her out of the wedding. the dres went above her knees and was a halter top (so it did show a lot of skin). she looked really pretty in it though. i just gave her her dress yesterday, and i guess when she showed her husband he told her he didnt want her to wear it. so she texted me today saying that her husband wasnt comfortable and she wants to respect his feelings and not wear the dress. i went off on her and told her it was the dress i picked or nothing, and she chose nothing! how can she just NOT wear the dress I wanted her to, and let her husband ruin my wedding.  she asked me if i would wear something my husband didnt feel comfortable with and i told her i would, and all she said was "i guess that is where we are different". i am just so hurt that she chose her husbands feelings over my wedding. she even had him come and drop off the dress so i would have it back.  he didnt say anything but this is for you and left.  i hate that she RUINED my wedding!!!,

i only gave my bff 2 weeks notice and she just saw her dress for the first time yesterday.since i just bought it yesterday. along with my dress.  i called to talk to her about it, and tell her my feelings, and she said that she still wanted to respect her husbands feelings, and couldnt wear the dress knowing how he felt about it. she said if i would have gotten her something a little less revealing she wouldnt have had a problem with wearing it. i guess i need to look at it through her point of view instead of getting mad that she is choosing her family over me.

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by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-6):
lovingmy4babies
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 5:45 PM

When my sil got married, I was worried she'd make me wear a dress I wasn't comfortable wearing, but she let us pick out our dresses, but in the color she chose for the wedding. To me, that would be better than not having my bff in my wedding! JMO, though :)

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by Head Admin on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:06 PM

 

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143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:19 PM

How is your wedding ruined? Because your bff isn't in it? Or because she wouldn't/couldn't wear the dress you chose? You gave her an ultimatum, she doesn't live with you she lives with her dh. Who did you think she was going to pick? Her choice may seem foreign to you, but unless you're living with her and know what's going on in her home, you can't understand. Is her dress the same as the other bridesmaids? Could she have a different dress, in the same color?

Having said that, it IS your wedding. And what the bridesmaids and matron of honor wear is YOUR choice. You have to understand there are consequences for the choices we make. If you allowed her to wear a different dress in the same color, then the wedding party isn't uniform. But now your wedding party is uniform, you don't have a matron of honor.

I had a friend in college, that got married, in May (prom season). Well apparantly, the dresses she chose for us (bridesmaids) were a popular prom dress too. The night of the rehearsal dinner we were supposed to pick up our altered dresses. (2 days before the wedding). Well, guess what, the dress shop SOLD my friend's dresses for proms thinking my friend's wedding was in 1 week and 2 days not 2 days. The day of my friend's wedding her bridal party had 3 different dresses. 2 of us borrowed dresses from 2 girls that had been in a wedding together, and 1 girl wore a dress of a coordinating color. Now THAT'S a ruined wedding.

I hope you and your bff make up before your wedding. Either way, enjoy your day. Make the most of it. And welcome to Cafemom.

Jaclynx3
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:23 PM

 did the dress  just get picked out?  I think he is a jerk for deciding today  that she cant be in the wedding-if he knew all along she was maid of honor.

how bad could it be? do yo have a pic?

  
    Madison                   Makaylyn                          Jordan                   Michael

AlyssaRob1416
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 8:30 PM

Please keep in mind that SHE is the one who has to live with this man so I can understand her choosing her husband over the dress. He is her husband- her life partner.

She did wait a little long to decide she didn't want to wear the dress. She could have said something earlier- especially if she thought her husband wouldn't want her to wear it.


I'm sorry.

elizabeth2009
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:52 PM

yes she saw it for the first time yesterday. but my wedding is this friday so it isnt like i can go buy her a new one. she was the only person in the wedding besides for the best man and the flower girls.

Quoting Jaclynx3:

 did the dress  just get picked out?  I think he is a jerk for deciding today  that she cant be in the wedding-if he knew all along she was maid of honor.

how bad could it be? do yo have a pic?

 

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