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joint custody/moving out of state

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:19 PM
  • 11 Replies

My divorce isnt final yet, we are deciding on joint custody or not. he wants it but im scared that if we do the joint custody thing i wont be able to move out of state in a year when i finish college. does anyone know if there are rules about this?

just to let you know, the reason i wanna move is because i live in the shittiest town in georgia and i feel like if me and my daughter move to florida it will give her a better life and more opportunities. i want her to be proud of where she grows up unlike me. im ashamed of where im from. i know her dad is gonna pitch a bitch when i decide to move but dont people move away all the time?

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsDean
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:21 PM

I think if you have shared custody you have to get permission to even leave the state. Why dont you try buttering the dad up and explaining it in a way that benefits him. Good luck!

aubreyjadasmom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:22 PM

I think it depends on where you live in california you have to ask the other parent for permission to take the kids out of state. 

elleinad
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:23 PM

You always need the other parent's permission to move out of state, whether you have sole custody or joint custody. You will likely have to go in front of a judge, and make a petition, and prove that the move is more beneficial for the child than staying in your current state. If it's just because "you don't like your town," you likely will not be able to move unless ex-DH agrees.

Have you two drafted a long-distance parenting plan?

"...Only the doing of justice is a good enough excuse to be born."

 

hannahsmommy309
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:23 PM

In order for you to move you will have to modify the judgment of the custody arrangment when the time came. You would have to prove proof of unemployment, that is higher payer/better then what you can find where you are, and how it would benefit child.

It will be extremely hard...because you will have to prove why change a childs routine/life style is in the best interest of the child.

I would not agree to joint if you are serious about leaving..however still you maybe not be able to leave bc how would BD still see child on all his visitations...when would he see child/what would be alternate arrangment, etc...

Good luck but its a hard thing to do!

KallysMommy
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:24 PM

I believe you can move out of state with change of address (of course doing it legally through a lawyer) and the only way he can stop you is if he takes it to court to fight joint custody.

macysmom
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:24 PM

of course ill ask.. or tell him.. he is gonna freak so is his mom.. but i feel like they shouldnt hold me back from doing whats right. i will let my daughter visit them anytime she wants. she can go during every school break if thats what they want. i dont want to keep her from them i just wanna keep her from the life this town offers.

Susan262
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:25 PM

Yea, I'm thinkin with joint custody, you have to get permission from the other parent.  If they don't agree then you would have to go back to court and prove that what you want to do is in the best intest of the child.  Susan262

elleinad
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:27 PM


Quoting macysmom:

of course ill ask.. or tell him.. he is gonna freak so is his mom.. but i feel like they shouldnt hold me back from doing whats right. i will let my daughter visit them anytime she wants. she can go during every school break if thats what they want. i dont want to keep her from them i just wanna keep her from the life this town offers.

Unless you can prove you will have a better paying job, more contact with relatives or have more family support, can provide proof of where you will live and work, and have a long distance parenting plan that DH agrees to -- you very well may not be able to go...


"...Only the doing of justice is a good enough excuse to be born."

 

junebug624
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:28 PM

In some cases you cant even leave the county you live in.  I'm dealing with this right now cuz my lawyer neglected to tell me that clause was in my custody order before I signed.  I was offered an awesome job in southern cali for after i graduate in aug.  baby's dad wont give me permission to move, so im not signing the divorce papers.  I had to petition the court to explain why it will improve my son's quality of life.  It is much harder to get approval that way.... make sure you have it all in there the first time.  It's harder to get it changed for what you want later.

Quoting MsDean:

I think if you have shared custody you have to get permission to even leave the state. Why dont you try buttering the dad up and explaining it in a way that benefits him. Good luck!


I'm a vaxing, circing, disposable diaper using, bf switched to ff, CIO sometimes, pushed 1hr before a c-section (and don't regret it), college attending, loving my son, can't wait to have another baby, trust your own judgement, kind of mom.

Jynnifer292
by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:31 PM

My husband's exwife tried to move to NY, we live in MA. He would not give her permission to move out of state with his son. They had joint custody. 





We are all shades of gray. It’s been said again and again; life’s a process. We are fleeting moments that come and go, and I am grateful to have my time, my aspirations and my mistakes, my flaws and my abilities. Think of me what you will, but before you do, don’t. Alexander William Gaskarth

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