Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DO YOU THINK FATHERS GET AWAY WITH THINGS TO EASY?

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM
  • 29 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do fathers have it easier them mothers?

Options:

yes-why?

no-why?

other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 67

View Results

This does not apply to me but a friend of mine and I was talking the other day and she mentioned how she felt that fathers get away with having to take responsibility of their children far to easy like her Ex has to only pay $200 a month in child support for 3 children and then only has them every other weekend so it got me thinking about it and she is right you figure that little bit of money they have to pay in support doesn't even match up to what we as mothers have to pay out every month to support our children roof over their head,food,clothing,extra activities,school shopping, day care ect and then they only have to become parents 4 days out of the month while mothers have to come home from work to take care of children while the fathers come home from work to do what they choose to do as if they had no children

PLEASE NO BASHING REMEMBER I AM NOT IN THIS SITUTATION IT WAS JUST SOMETHING A FRIEND OF MINE BROUGHT UP CAUSE SHE IS IN THIS SITUATION!

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Ambermurry08
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:30 AM

Ohh yeah i'm not int that situation But i think even if your married the women still do more.But i do think that people who are not together that the father has it easyy compared to the women except the single fathers of course But in a way i can understand only seeing a dad on the weekends so they don't have to constanly switch places they sleep every week and moving from home to  home every week it would get old but they should have to do more

zianneaaliyah
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 8:31 AM

Of course they do!

Them not having to carry a baby for 9 months and experience labor will always make it easier for them.


mommy259
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:27 AM

BUMP_anyone else feel this way?

Treymama
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:35 AM

I think they do. Well the ones that don't have custody of their children anyway. My son's dad, only has him when he wants him, he will say he will come get him and then ignore my phone calls and I will find out from his brother what his plans are for that weekend, and that's why he ignores my phone calls. So I do call him at work. He pays 250/month in cs which is taken right out of his check because if he had the choice to pay it he wouldn't.

And then he tried to tell me one time, that he never wanted a kid therefor our son is not his responsibility, it was my choice to have him so I should be the one solely responsible, and then he also tried saying that having a kid changed his life. I said really how is that, because you get to bum around your house all day and don't have to worry about a child to get up in the morning, or feeding a child or have to come home and take care of him. you still get to go out with your friends and do whatever you please just as you did before the child.

HybridMom27
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:46 AM

1.  Single dads who are non-custodial parents have it harder.  They don't get to see their kids every day, if they're good dads that crushes them - not to mention how it hurts their kids beyond belief.  They see that, and I'm sure it leads to incredible guilt.  And they are at the mom's mercy to even see their kids, not to mention that a lot of parents bash each other....

2.  Married dads have a really tough time.  DH works his regular job about 60 hrs a week, and has to travel for 3 days every other week.  Once he finishes work, he gets about 30 min with the kids at dinner, then they climb all over him for about an hour - sometimes if he's lucky they all get to go outside but it's constantly "Daddy Daddy Daddy."  He also teaches part-time, and often works nights for his primary job, so after bedtime, when he's exhausted, he usually has to go back to his home office and work.  Weekends he mows the lawn, works on the house, generally has something every minute of every day.  He's lucky to get 20 min to himself one day a week, no time to exercise, or even spend time with me.  THAT sucks.

Plus he's constantly worried about what's going to happen with his job, how he's going to provide for us, not to mention that he wishes he could spend more time with the boys.  And when he does work from home, whenever he comes down just to use the bathroom or grab a snack they boys are all "Daddy Daddy are you done!" Lots of guilt, no time, can't exercise, tons of stress.

Quoting mommy259:

This does not apply to me but a friend of mine and I was talking the other day and she mentioned how she felt that fathers get away with having to take responsibility of their children far to easy like her Ex has to only pay $200 a month in child support for 3 children and then only has them every other weekend so it got me thinking about it and she is right you figure that little bit of money they have to pay in support doesn't even match up to what we as mothers have to pay out every month to support our children roof over their head,food,clothing,extra activities,school shopping, day care ect and then they only have to become parents 4 days out of the month while mothers have to come home from work to take care of children while the fathers come home from work to do what they choose to do as if they had no children

PLEASE NO BASHING REMEMBER I AM NOT IN THIS SITUTATION IT WAS JUST SOMETHING A FRIEND OF MINE BROUGHT UP CAUSE SHE IS IN THIS SITUATION!


steffie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:50 AM

i say they do at least in my life, my dad left when i was little, i have no memory of him ever bein in the home.. if my mom and dad argue .. he would stay away... he was able to get a new wife , new kids, new home, and new found reason to be perfect dad to another family...

judy_bug08
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:54 AM

oh yeah...like someone said, even married dads do. My hubby works full time, and always the same hours everyday. I work full time but my hours vary. I am the one that does the shopping, gets the kids up for school, feeds them every meal (even when i am at work, i will prepare their meal so whoever is with them just has to warm it up), i do all the errands for us and my grandma, plus i have taken all the kids to each doctor and dentist appt. When my husband comes home, he will play with the kids and then turn on the PS3. If i am working nights, i have to clean the house when i get home because my husband don't clean unless i am on strike...lol.

Love_My_Leah
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:54 AM

I totally agree with this. If for some reason we were divorced and that was our visitation arrangement (which I would never do it like that, its not fair to him) it would absolutely KILL him to only see our daughter 4 days a month.

I also think he works a lot harder than I do. Some day he either works or is on call 24 hours or more.

Quoting HybridMom27:

1.  Single dads who are non-custodial parents have it harder.  They don't get to see their kids every day, if they're good dads that crushes them - not to mention how it hurts their kids beyond belief.  They see that, and I'm sure it leads to incredible guilt.  And they are at the mom's mercy to even see their kids, not to mention that a lot of parents bash each other....

2.  Married dads have a really tough time.  DH works his regular job about 60 hrs a week, and has to travel for 3 days every other week.  Once he finishes work, he gets about 30 min with the kids at dinner, then they climb all over him for about an hour - sometimes if he's lucky they all get to go outside but it's constantly "Daddy Daddy Daddy."  He also teaches part-time, and often works nights for his primary job, so after bedtime, when he's exhausted, he usually has to go back to his home office and work.  Weekends he mows the lawn, works on the house, generally has something every minute of every day.  He's lucky to get 20 min to himself one day a week, no time to exercise, or even spend time with me.  THAT sucks.

Plus he's constantly worried about what's going to happen with his job, how he's going to provide for us, not to mention that he wishes he could spend more time with the boys.  And when he does work from home, whenever he comes down just to use the bathroom or grab a snack they boys are all "Daddy Daddy are you done!" Lots of guilt, no time, can't exercise, tons of stress.

Quoting mommy259:

This does not apply to me but a friend of mine and I was talking the other day and she mentioned how she felt that fathers get away with having to take responsibility of their children far to easy like her Ex has to only pay $200 a month in child support for 3 children and then only has them every other weekend so it got me thinking about it and she is right you figure that little bit of money they have to pay in support doesn't even match up to what we as mothers have to pay out every month to support our children roof over their head,food,clothing,extra activities,school shopping, day care ect and then they only have to become parents 4 days out of the month while mothers have to come home from work to take care of children while the fathers come home from work to do what they choose to do as if they had no children

PLEASE NO BASHING REMEMBER I AM NOT IN THIS SITUTATION IT WAS JUST SOMETHING A FRIEND OF MINE BROUGHT UP CAUSE SHE IS IN THIS SITUATION!

 


ToddlerRides.gif Rear facing blinkie 2 image by Kipani4jc

Christy644
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 9:59 AM

BM tries to convince herslef and everybody else that my DH is a dead beat dad. He fought in court for over a year to get rights. He now has 1 week a month, and pays out the a&& for it.

BM complains that she has to "do it all alone" BULLSHIT. If the child is too much why not let dad take him for awhile.

OP in your friends case, maybe if possible she could give the kids more time with the father . That would help alleviate some of her stresses as a single mom.

IMO Child support should be to suppliment income, not to pay all the bills. 200 seems a little low for 3 kids. my DH pays triple plus for 1 kid. and still gets the dead beat dad bull from BM.

I have joint custody of myown children. WE don't have child support. He has them 50% of the time as do i. Personally, if it is possible in a situation, that is the best routwe for the children.

Treymama
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:04 AM

This is true in situations where the dad actually does care and wants to be with his kids. But this is totally false in my situation. He has known since we spit up that he can come get our son whenever he wants. In fact I was driving my son to his dad which is an hour and half away just because I wanted them to have a relationship together so bad. Finally I gave up on that. And then we would plan for him to have him a week at a time or something, he always brought him back after only having him for 1 day and 1 night. He never kept him the whole week. He ignores my phone calls when I call him. When he says he is going to come get him he doesn't. So ya to me he has it easy compared to what I have to do. and I am the one dealing with the broken heart of the child because he gets to go to his daddy's and then his dad doesn't come get him and isn't home when I try to take him over there. If he had any guilt he would see him more then he does. In fact, my son saw his dad last tues. because I went and picked him up and we all spent the day together and then I dropped his dad off, my son wanted to stay there with him and he said no, now he didn't have to work or anything there was no reason he couldn't have stayed that night with his dad. The last time he saw his dad before that was the 4th of July and only because I took him to him and basically told him he was having him that night.

Quoting HybridMom27:

1.  Single dads who are non-custodial parents have it harder.  They don't get to see their kids every day, if they're good dads that crushes them - not to mention how it hurts their kids beyond belief.  They see that, and I'm sure it leads to incredible guilt.  And they are at the mom's mercy to even see their kids, not to mention that a lot of parents bash each other....

2.  Married dads have a really tough time.  DH works his regular job about 60 hrs a week, and has to travel for 3 days every other week.  Once he finishes work, he gets about 30 min with the kids at dinner, then they climb all over him for about an hour - sometimes if he's lucky they all get to go outside but it's constantly "Daddy Daddy Daddy."  He also teaches part-time, and often works nights for his primary job, so after bedtime, when he's exhausted, he usually has to go back to his home office and work.  Weekends he mows the lawn, works on the house, generally has something every minute of every day.  He's lucky to get 20 min to himself one day a week, no time to exercise, or even spend time with me.  THAT sucks.

Plus he's constantly worried about what's going to happen with his job, how he's going to provide for us, not to mention that he wishes he could spend more time with the boys.  And when he does work from home, whenever he comes down just to use the bathroom or grab a snack they boys are all "Daddy Daddy are you done!" Lots of guilt, no time, can't exercise, tons of stress.

Quoting mommy259:

This does not apply to me but a friend of mine and I was talking the other day and she mentioned how she felt that fathers get away with having to take responsibility of their children far to easy like her Ex has to only pay $200 a month in child support for 3 children and then only has them every other weekend so it got me thinking about it and she is right you figure that little bit of money they have to pay in support doesn't even match up to what we as mothers have to pay out every month to support our children roof over their head,food,clothing,extra activities,school shopping, day care ect and then they only have to become parents 4 days out of the month while mothers have to come home from work to take care of children while the fathers come home from work to do what they choose to do as if they had no children

PLEASE NO BASHING REMEMBER I AM NOT IN THIS SITUTATION IT WAS JUST SOMETHING A FRIEND OF MINE BROUGHT UP CAUSE SHE IS IN THIS SITUATION!

 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)