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Military Wifes... How do you do it?

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:08 AM
  • 10 Replies

 

My husband and I have had some major problems lately. Now he's gotten stationed aprox. 4 hours away for active duty. It hurts so bad not knowing when i'll see him again, or when I can go be with him(monetary problems preventing that). Im so sad I've been crying like non stop.

I'm sure some of ya'll are going to call me a baby or w/e I'm new at this military wife thing. I know I have more longer departures to deal with.

by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leejoy
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:13 AM

We aren't military any more, but I remember when my dh had to leave for the first time.......and I had to be alone. He was going to be gone for just a week and I felt ridiculous but the first 3 days I spent bawling my head off. My dd was 1 at the time and I knew no one where we were stationed, it was awful.  I don't have any real great advice for you other than you will get through it and it def does get easier....,.6 years later and I look forward to his out of town jobs where he works now..lol.  You might try just getting out and going to parks or wherever you can go and take the kid/s for a little while each day for free.  It does help to try to get around and not just sit and think about how alone you feel....kwim.



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celticreverie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:15 AM
the military pays to move you? and he should get dislocation pay to help cover a place to live? It can be hard, and I'm sorry. You just take it 1 day at a time. My husband is leaving for high risk training shortly. I wont have any contact with him for 3 weeks: no letters, no phone calls, nothing.

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LiLmOmMiE08
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:29 AM


They do? He's Army National Guard, does that make a difference?

I dont know if I could handle that, especially not now.

Quoting celticreverie:

the military pays to move you? and he should get dislocation pay to help cover a place to live? It can be hard, and I'm sorry. You just take it 1 day at a time. My husband is leaving for high risk training shortly. I wont have any contact with him for 3 weeks: no letters, no phone calls, nothing.


ArmyWifey4907
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 10:45 AM

My hubby just left National Guard to join Active.....Since you said he's being stationed somewhere else for Active Duty, is he deployed then?  You can't go with him if it's a deployment.  And I've never heard of National Guard relocating their soldiers for Active Duty, only for deployments.

Quoting LiLmOmMiE08:


They do? He's Army National Guard, does that make a difference?

I dont know if I could handle that, especially not now.

Quoting celticreverie:

the military pays to move you? and he should get dislocation pay to help cover a place to live? It can be hard, and I'm sorry. You just take it 1 day at a time. My husband is leaving for high risk training shortly. I wont have any contact with him for 3 weeks: no letters, no phone calls, nothing.





LiLmOmMiE08
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:04 AM


He was talking to his comander about not having a civilian job. His commander called someone down at the base he's being stationed at and he got a job down there. He's Active Guard ? now ?(this is what he told me)  the base has no on base houseing (i was told this by someone who's husband works there too) So we have to find an apartment down there, which means we have to be able to afford rent and deposit also deposits for electric water, gas. etc. He still will go to drill one weekend a month but being he's getting active pay he wont be able to go to AT ( he was told that after he got back from BCT & AIT)

Im so confused on all of this

Quoting ArmyWifey4907:

My hubby just left National Guard to join Active.....Since you said he's being stationed somewhere else for Active Duty, is he deployed then?  You can't go with him if it's a deployment.  And I've never heard of National Guard relocating their soldiers for Active Duty, only for deployments.

Quoting LiLmOmMiE08:


They do? He's Army National Guard, does that make a difference?

I dont know if I could handle that, especially not now.

Quoting celticreverie:

the military pays to move you? and he should get dislocation pay to help cover a place to live? It can be hard, and I'm sorry. You just take it 1 day at a time. My husband is leaving for high risk training shortly. I wont have any contact with him for 3 weeks: no letters, no phone calls, nothing.




BrownEyedBarbie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:06 AM

 this doesnt even sound right. Is he AGR or somethign?

*insert self discription here*

Army_Wife41
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:09 AM

I would never ever ever call you a baby. I have dealt with 4 deployments, and it never gets any easier. My best suggestion is just try to keep in touch with him. Write him, call him (if you can), put together care packages for him (it doesnt have to be crazy, even if he isnt deployed, if you have an address you can mail things to, I would!). Try not to worry about the fighting, it happens, especially when you are away from each other for the first time. I am sure you will have more seperation before he gets out, but just take it a day at a time. You should get involved with your husbands units FRG (Family Readiness Group), you will meet all of the other soldiers wives, and you can get support from them. They organize tons of events as well, I know that helps people a lot. It definitely helps the new wives cope with their first seperation (no matter how long or short it might be). Keep that chin up, I'll be around if you'd ever like to talk, I have a bit of experience in this area. Don't feel strange about messaging me if you feel the need, I wouldn;t mind helping you out at all. Good luck!

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tattedmommynlj
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:15 AM

awww man youll be ok after the first couple weeks. and you guys arent that far apart. yall can visit each other...

after we moved to texas (my hubby is now a navy recruiter for 2 more years) my hubby had to go to school in florida for almost 2 months so every couple weeks we would meet in baton rouge at his parents house just to get a weekend together which was a 5 hour drive for me and about a 6 hour drive. its really not that bad.. youll see!!

good luck and take care!!!

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KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:22 AM

Ah, ok, he is active guard reserve then....good news is this shoulndt take too long to fix. Hopefully something on post will open up or in a month you can move up. Since he is AGR he should get moving allowance which would cover that cost and since you live so close i would suggest a ditty move (doing it yourself) so you can cut cost and keep the remainder and that should help out with the expenses of moving. With a family he will get BAH a month which is extra $ for housing allowance (as long as your living off post) and it should cover a nice place in the area.

Bla, if you have any questions feel free to PM me!

Stay strong momma!

Quoting LiLmOmMiE08:


He was talking to his comander about not having a civilian job. His commander called someone down at the base he's being stationed at and he got a job down there. He's Active Guard ? now ?(this is what he told me)  the base has no on base houseing (i was told this by someone who's husband works there too) So we have to find an apartment down there, which means we have to be able to afford rent and deposit also deposits for electric water, gas. etc. He still will go to drill one weekend a month but being he's getting active pay he wont be able to go to AT ( he was told that after he got back from BCT & AIT)

Im so confused on all of this

Quoting ArmyWifey4907:

My hubby just left National Guard to join Active.....Since you said he's being stationed somewhere else for Active Duty, is he deployed then?  You can't go with him if it's a deployment.  And I've never heard of National Guard relocating their soldiers for Active Duty, only for deployments.

Quoting LiLmOmMiE08:


They do? He's Army National Guard, does that make a difference?

I dont know if I could handle that, especially not now.

Quoting celticreverie:

the military pays to move you? and he should get dislocation pay to help cover a place to live? It can be hard, and I'm sorry. You just take it 1 day at a time. My husband is leaving for high risk training shortly. I wont have any contact with him for 3 weeks: no letters, no phone calls, nothing.







LiLmOmMiE08
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:26 AM

  idk why im being such a wus ivve dealt with a 14 week seperration but i knew when id see him again, i dont this time i may see him on the weekends if we can afford for him to come up, and call if/when he can, I'm hopeing it wont be for long

Also tomarrow is our first ob apointment for this baby, I wish he could see the baby,

thank you ladies for being so kind and supportive.

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