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I feel like im severly neglecting my DD =(

Posted by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:07 AM
  • 5 Replies

So my 3 week old DS is very needy. He will not sleep or stop screaming unless im holding him... this goes on ALL MORNING LONG. My DD constantly tries to get into my lap but its really hard to lift her up when I have a newborn in my lap or on my shoulder! I know it bothers her because she whines alot and has started acting out more (like hitting the couch or just getting really angry). She NEVER tries to hurt the baby, just gives him lots of kisses, which kinda sucks in a way because when I finally do get him to sleep and set him down she will go over and try to kiss him and mess with his toes and wake him back up!!

I would love to spend more time with DD. When I was pregnant we would go outside every morning, play in the kiddie pool, go for walks, etc... but all that has stopped. We spend all morning inside because im glued to the baby! I know this will pass, its only a matter of time... but I feel so bad! I cant enjoy my DS being a newborn because im neglecting my toddler! I almost cant wait til DS is a couple months older so I can spend more time with my DD while DS entertains himself.  -_-;

Does that make me a horrible mother?!



by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Crystallynn
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:10 AM

how is the weather where you live?  Can you take the baby outside with you?  You might still have to hold the baby, but it would help with your dd.  Also, what are your evenings like?  do you have dh that could keep the baby for even an hour so you could make some time to spend with your dd?

   

MommyAnnaBanana
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM

You are not a horrible mother.  The first few months are a little crazy.  What I did after my younger son was born was spent time with my older one while the baby napped.  Sometimes we would do a small craft, sometimes just lay around and watch a cartoon.  On a lucky occasion I could get him to "help" me do some housework.  At 3 years old I bet your DD would love to help mommy out with little things such as helping to put clothes in the washer and wiping the counter.

This too shall pass, Mama.  :)

mommyannabanana

nikkikry
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM

I've only got one child right now...but from my experience with others, I think this makes you a NORMAL mother. You're right, it will pass and you'll get better at balancing your life. Could someone watch your baby just for an hour so you could go for a walk or something like that with your DD?

CafeMom Tickers

in love I Married My High School Sweetheartttc

tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:13 AM

I live in south FL so on a good day its about 95 outside in the shade so I try not to take him out too much, we usually go out in the early evenings so DD can play outside. SO works nights so he doesnt get up until noon, but then DD eats lunch and takes a nap until 4 and thats when we go outside with her. The mornings are just so hard when its just me, a screaming newborn and a whinning toddler! And then there is my needy cat that also tries to get up into my lap with two kids lol... I just cant win.

Quoting Crystallynn:

how is the weather where you live?  Can you take the baby outside with you?  You might still have to hold the baby, but it would help with your dd.  Also, what are your evenings like?  do you have dh that could keep the baby for even an hour so you could make some time to spend with your dd?


zjonzie
by on Aug. 12, 2009 at 11:15 AM

i suggest getting a moby wrap or a sling of some sort and get on with your normal daily activities.  your baby will be happy to be worn by you and your dd will get more of your attention.  with my dd i wore her all the time (except things like cooking that are dangerous) and my son and i did whatever we needed to do.

this difficult time will pass, have just a little patience right now! congrats on the baby

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