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ask a young mom (spin off, unwanted post)

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:35 AM
  • 92 Replies

spin off kind of, talking about how disrespectful that lady was to her because she looked so young... so what do you think of really young moms? And go ahead and ask me a young mom anything...

I am a  young single mommy who is, natural birthing, cosleeping, breast/formula feeding, circumsizing, selective vaccinating, CIO when old enough, pacifier using,foward facing at 1 year, fast food feeding, disposable diaper using, cartoon watching,  scrapbooking, non spanking, completely against abortion, pro death penalty, working,child abuse awareness rasing, &  i love my little man with all of my heart.


 


 




 




toddler boy




 




 

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
FlagMomNick
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:40 AM

I was irresponsible at 19 & blessed at 20 with my first DD.

No condemnation here.

edit* The only time I ever got nasty looks & treatment is when my oldest was in kindergarten, from the other moms who probably thought I was 17 instead of 26. Some ladies assume they know everything.

Mommy2519
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 7:43 AM

how old were you when you had your 1st? was your child planned?

 

i planned my first when i was 18, had her at 19....had my 2nd at 20, 3rd at 21 and expecting my 4th right before my 23rd birthday...(all same daddy i wanted to add)  i think it depends on the person on how good of a mother you are...not your age...i think some 17 year old mothers are better than some 27 year old moms and the other way around...

grammarpolice
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 7:50 AM

What are your thoughts when you see an "older" mom (45+) with a young child (under 3)?

mommafletcher
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 7:59 AM


Quoting grammarpolice:

What are your thoughts when you see an "older" mom (45+) with a young child (under 3)?

My mother was older when she had me and I was 16 when I had my son. Its both possible and still be a great mother. The down factor to having kids older is you loose your parent at a younger age. Plus you have more health issues and can mean that your children are taking care of you at a young age or not able to do certain things younger mothers can. The down side to being a mother at a young age is those that see you thinks you are a terrible parent because you are a child yourself even if you are a wonderful parent. Another issue is when you are like me and your kids will be adults before you hit 35. Either one is alright if the children are taken care of and age doesn't mean anything. I've seen older women not take care of their children as much as I've seen 16-20 year olds that don't. It all depends of if you are wanting to be a parent and buckle down and so what's needed

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Kestrel1
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:24 AM

What do I think?

In the case of moms who have not graduated high school, why do you think I'm supposed to smile and be like it's okay because you're you, and since you're on CM you must be a good parent - even though the life you're living is something I make an example of to my children as what NOT to do in life?

Hey, good for you that you're working it out but at the same time as a parent I would be asking myself what went wrong were it my daughter coming home from a date with a 'surprise.'


I was 22 when I had my oldest, and yes looked much younger.  I had door dropped on me, pointed glares from little old ladies and whatever.  I wasn't bothered by it because on some level I understood that it wasn't *me* they were reacting to, and I didn't really feel any desire to try to explain why no, I'm not who you think I am since in retrospect, 22 is still INCREDIBLY young to be having kids.

While I enjoyed my boys, having DD at almost 32 I have felt more competant, more stable and feel like I have so much more to offer as a parent in a world where love doesn't pay the bills or get you into a good school district.  Whether that's a case of being older, or just having been there done that stripes is up for interpretation.


Quoting sharisse:

spin off kind of, talking about how disrespectful that lady was to her because she looked so young... so what do you think of really young moms? And go ahead and ask me a young mom anything...


isra1986
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:32 AM

I am also a young mom (Wished I was a younger one!) I got married at 19 and started TTC. Didn't happen until I was 21 :(
Just because a mother is young doesn't mean she is a bad mom or doesn't want her child.

ramadan mubarak

mommafletcher
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:46 AM

Not everyone at a young age thinks that "Love" pays the bills. Just because you are 32 now with a job doesn't mean that in a year you will still have it. Will you then think your life is no longer complete? You are just as likely to have financial issues as a young parent. Jobs is no guarantee no matter what your age is. 

Quoting Kestrel1:

What do I think?

In the case of moms who have not graduated high school, why do you think I'm supposed to smile and be like it's okay because you're you, and since you're on CM you must be a good parent - even though the life you're living is something I make an example of to my children as what NOT to do in life?

Hey, good for you that you're working it out but at the same time as a parent I would be asking myself what went wrong were it my daughter coming home from a date with a 'surprise.'


I was 22 when I had my oldest, and yes looked much younger.  I had door dropped on me, pointed glares from little old ladies and whatever.  I wasn't bothered by it because on some level I understood that it wasn't *me* they were reacting to, and I didn't really feel any desire to try to explain why no, I'm not who you think I am since in retrospect, 22 is still INCREDIBLY young to be having kids.

While I enjoyed my boys, having DD at almost 32 I have felt more competant, more stable and feel like I have so much more to offer as a parent in a world where love doesn't pay the bills or get you into a good school district.  Whether that's a case of being older, or just having been there done that stripes is up for interpretation.


Quoting sharisse:

spin off kind of, talking about how disrespectful that lady was to her because she looked so young... so what do you think of really young moms? And go ahead and ask me a young mom anything...



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Ma2mase
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:56 AM

Honestly I don't really care what age someone is, it is there actions that would make me think twice. I had my DS at 20 However I did (and still do) look even under 15 years old and was (again still am married)  He was an accident but not a mistake.  Old or young, parenting has nothing to do with age and all to do with the individual. The argument of experience and wisdom has truth but there are many flaws in it, Different people have different life experiences growing up, different situations form different behaviours, thought process' and maturity.

mamasangels2009
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:56 AM

 I also was/am a young mom. I had my first at 17 although no not planned I have raised her from day one with no help by choice. I now am expecting my 6th child at the age of 23 and all with the same man. I don't think being a young mom makes you a bad parent just as being an older mom doesn't make you a good parent. It all depends on the person. Anyone of any age can be a great mom if they chose or desire to but at the same time any one at any age can be a horrible parent. Age is just a number. And will always be just that. I have raised each and every one of my children with my husband and taken care of their every need and want most times before they even want it. They are all healthy, happy, smart, brillant children. Where I live everyone knows everyone and when I had my first I got the looks and things of that nature but by the time she was a year old those had disappeared because everyone knew I raised her. And now I get comments where ever I go on the fact that I am a young mom and have done so well with raising them this far and will continue to do so. I don't think people should judge a mother based on how old she looks or how old she is. You don't know them personally and are not there to watch how they raise their children. Young or old.

zekesgirl
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 8:59 AM

This isn't a question i know, but I wanted to say as an older mother alot of us don't give a flying foolaalaa how old younger mothers are.It seems like eveytime a younger mother is out in public, and someone makes a comment to them it is always an older mother or so it seems...You choose to have your babies at any age you want.I have 3 under 4 and they are biracial and have reallly bright skin, I get looks but I just smile and keep it moving.

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