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My Teen Mom Story..ITS NOT EASY!

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:24 AM
  • 27 Replies

I see a lot of teen mom posts on here where moms are trying to make you believe how perfect their lives are with their babies, and thought I would share my story...

I got pregnant in HS.  I was 17 and had my first son at 18.  I was salutatorian of my school and had to give my speech 7 months preggers.  My hubby and I got married too years later, we were poor.  We had 1 car no cable, never ran the air, and ate ramen noodles and mac and cheese for 3 years.  We lived paycheck to paycheck, never took a vacation, never went out, fought a lot, never slept, and were extremely stressed.  We actually sperated for 4 months because of the stress.  We couldn't afford insurance for all of us, so we just got a plan for our son so when we were sick we never went to the Dr.s'  We both worked and went to college.  We had a lot of family members to help watch our son while we worked and were in college.  IT WAS THE HARDEST 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE!  I gave my son everything I could give him and he was a baby and didn't know any better, but it really sucked!  My senior year of college I got a "real" job making a pretty decent salary, and my husband job as an electrician (he went to a tech college) soon followed.  We bought our first house and I gave birth to our second son my Sr year of college (I was 22).  Because of my pregnancy, I did not graduate college until December...a semester late, but already at a job with my current company.  My hubby and I are still together, and we have a beautiful life!

I would never choose that way and never wish it upon anyone.  If I was not as strong willed as I am we would have never made it through.  BUT I did what I had to do when faced with a tough situation.  I worked my ass off for 4 years of my life to get to where I am today, so when I see a teen mom I think "I feel sorry for her and that child."  My youngest son has way more at 3 then my oldest ever did...I just couldn't afford it then and I can now.  Are all teen moms horrible...No, not at all.  I am more successful then most 25 year olds I know, but it was a horrible struggle to get here, and I would say the majority of teen moms don't make it, like we have.  So for a 16 year old to say they choose to have a baby, and are having this wonderful life taking care of their baby...it baffles me and I honestly feel sorry for them, because I know what its like and its not easy.

Feel free to ask me anything, but I really just wanted to show you guys that not all teen moms live in this world of dillusion where everythign is happy and roses.

 

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyRivera
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:26 AM

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your struggles, but I am glad you have overcome it! 

mandalouwhotn
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:28 AM

Thanks!

Quoting MommyRivera:

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your struggles, but I am glad you have overcome it! 


MommyAnnaBanana
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:29 AM

I am so glad you and your spouse were able to push through with your education.   It will truly make a world of difference in your lives.  :)

mommyannabanana

mandalouwhotn
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:30 AM

It truly has...thansk for the kind words!

Quoting MommyAnnaBanana:

I am so glad you and your spouse were able to push through with your education.   It will truly make a world of difference in your lives.  :)


StephanieC86
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:32 AM

:-) I had my son when i was 17, and it was some pretty hard stuff. I made it through though, i did great once me and my sons father split up, I found a guy who i fell inlove with, married him, I work full time now, [he does too] we have our own place, eat well, and live happily. BUT... i would NEVER say that my life was easy... at ALL... we worked so hard to get here... but it was all so worth it. My son is starting Kindergarten next month, and its all just really good!!

mandalouwhotn
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:37 AM

Im glad you made it!  I creid when my oldest went to Kindergarten..lol

Quoting StephanieC86:

:-) I had my son when i was 17, and it was some pretty hard stuff. I made it through though, i did great once me and my sons father split up, I found a guy who i fell inlove with, married him, I work full time now, [he does too] we have our own place, eat well, and live happily. BUT... i would NEVER say that my life was easy... at ALL... we worked so hard to get here... but it was all so worth it. My son is starting Kindergarten next month, and its all just really good!!


sharisse
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:40 AM

I'm sorry it was hard for you.. I never went through that when me and my husband were together, our life was easy, very easy. We had everything and more. But I'm glad you overcame it, and are doing so well now! And congrats on finishing college. =)

WildKat
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:45 AM

I didn't post in that other post - because I didn't (and don't) want to be hurtful.  But this is the thing I think about when I see a teen mom.  She'll never get the opportunity (like I had) to live away at college and experience dorm life and her start in life will be so much tougher than mine was.  And when will she have the freedom to figure out who she is OUTSIDE of a daughter/mother role?  Again - I'm not trying to be hurtful but I feel bad about the struggles of a teen mom and wouldn't wish it on anyone - even those that claim to love it.  I am so glad (and IMPRESSED) that you and your husband managed to stay together and finish your college educations.  I grew up without any financial struggles and college STILL wasn't easy so I am in AWE of you!!!  You are one strong mama.

Peace,

Kat

mandalouwhotn
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:52 AM

I completely agree with this.  It took me a long time to come to terms with who I am as a woman.  Everything moved so fast during those critical years.  I mean 18-22 are big years for a woman to find herself.  I would have loved have to went away to college ( I got in to a lot of schools with scholarships).  This is my point.  Whether these girls admit it or not, you miss out on a lot of things, and I just don't think that giving it all up and eciding to be nothing but a mom at 16, 17, 18 is a good decision.  Did I make it...yep.  Am I happy...completely.  Do I have regrets...nope.  Would I be upset if my little sister came to me pregnant at 17...absolutely.  Its just not the best situation for anyone.  Thank you for the kind words!

Quoting WildKat:

I didn't post in that other post - because I didn't (and don't) want to be hurtful.  But this is the thing I think about when I see a teen mom.  She'll never get the opportunity (like I had) to live away at college and experience dorm life and her start in life will be so much tougher than mine was.  And when will she have the freedom to figure out who she is OUTSIDE of a daughter/mother role?  Again - I'm not trying to be hurtful but I feel bad about the struggles of a teen mom and wouldn't wish it on anyone - even those that claim to love it.  I am so glad (and IMPRESSED) that you and your husband managed to stay together and finish your college educations.  I grew up without any financial struggles and college STILL wasn't easy so I am in AWE of you!!!  You are one strong mama.

Peace,

Kat

 

sharisse
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:55 AM

i agree that trying to find yourself is hard, because thats what i do be a mommy. But ive come to pretty good terms with who I am. I am a strong single mother. I am brave and proud. I am selfless. I know what i want out of my future. I will work hard to get it. I am happy with who my son has become. But am i perfectly happen with how my life is at the moment? No, because i want to finish college.

BUT, notice the first part is mother, and always will be mother.. he is first and foremost.

Quoting WildKat:

I didn't post in that other post - because I didn't (and don't) want to be hurtful.  But this is the thing I think about when I see a teen mom.  She'll never get the opportunity (like I had) to live away at college and experience dorm life and her start in life will be so much tougher than mine was.  And when will she have the freedom to figure out who she is OUTSIDE of a daughter/mother role?  Again - I'm not trying to be hurtful but I feel bad about the struggles of a teen mom and wouldn't wish it on anyone - even those that claim to love it.  I am so glad (and IMPRESSED) that you and your husband managed to stay together and finish your college educations.  I grew up without any financial struggles and college STILL wasn't easy so I am in AWE of you!!!  You are one strong mama.

Peace,

Kat

 

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