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Who do you think is being unfair??

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:18 PM
  • 8 Replies

So my SIL brings her kids over to our house all the time and we watch them for free while she does various things.  Well she never brings any meals or snacks over for them.  My DH finally got tired of providing meals and free babysitting for her kids all the time.  So he finally told them they would have to bring lunch if they wanted us to watch them.  My mom flipped out about it and said we needed to provide their meals for them and when we told her we wouldn't she said she's going to bring Mc Donalds over to my neice and nephew while they are here and not my kids.  First of all We watch them for FREE and DH was tired of providing food too.  Second of all I don't think it's fair for my mom to take it out on my kids.  If she wanted to provide food fine.  She could bring something from the store but she went to extremes and decided to get something she knew my kids would want. 

Oh and it's not like my brother and wife are hurting for money they make more than us.


   Landon             Xander                Jadzia                   Ronan
  3-15-2005          5-16-2006             9-25-2007                5-29-2009

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:18 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Jenniy
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:20 PM

Don't let her.  When she comes over, meet her outside and tell her that if she's going to be like that and not bring enough for all the kids then she can eat the happy meals herself, in her car.

baby growth

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mandi8806
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:24 PM

Quoting Jenniy:

Don't let her.  When she comes over, meet her outside and tell her that if she's going to be like that and not bring enough for all the kids then she can eat the happy meals herself, in her car.


ECMOM970
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:25 PM

Put your foot down and say I AM NOT WATCHING YOUR KIDS ANYMORE

Chibi_Kitten
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:25 PM

It's a tough situation, although I don't think your mom should be interferring at all. This is between you/your DH and your sister/her DH, as it involves kids that you and her are responsible for.

That said... When I watch my relatives' kids, all of which are currently two years or under so this is a bit different from your situation... anyway, I let them know that I have this availible for them to eat, play, do, whatever. If they need or want something different, they provide it. Money is tight all the way around in my family, so we're relying on each other to watch each others' kids when we're all working. We also try to help each other out with food and diapers and stuff though.

I think balance is the key, you have to work out a balance with your family that works out for everyone.

My cousin has a baby boy that's two and a half months older than my daughter, so we're able to share diapers for the most part. My daughter will eat ANYTHING, her son is a bit more picky. Therefore, when I watch her son, she'll bring food over for him and I have the challenge of keeping my daughter away from it. lol When she watches my daughter, I don't have to worry about bringing anything except a change of clothes and/or swimming stuff. It's a balance that works out great for us, saves both of us a little money and provides both of us with free daycare.

Good luck with everything. 

FannieOakley
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:27 PM

I would tell them they can find someone else to watch their kids for them.  I doubt they would get such a great offer from anyone else. 

Tinyhourglass
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:27 PM

Yeah, dont let her.  Sounds like you have more problems with the mom than with the SIL & her kids.  It is not unreasonable to ask they provide their own food.   Can they not bring a loaf of bread every now & again??

Quoting mandi8806:


Quoting Jenniy:

Don't let her.  When she comes over, meet her outside and tell her that if she's going to be like that and not bring enough for all the kids then she can eat the happy meals herself, in her car.



sllytnkrbl
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 2:29 PM

 I don't know how often or for how long you watch the kids but I guess I'm just in a different position.   As a family we never expect to charge each other for babysitting.  I watch my sil's son and have no problem feeding him, clothing him, whatever, she does the same for my kids.  My cousin doesn't even have kids and when she watches my kids she feeds them no problem and doesn't get paid.  Granted it's not often but it's just and understanding we have.   I do send snacks but when I do I send enough for my kids to share with their cousins.   If it were everyday I'm sure we'd come to an understanding.  

If it is putting a strain on you financially though, I guess treat it like she wasn't family and your in business, explain to them that the extra mouths to feed add up, she doesn't have to supply all the food just a couple of bucks so you could buy some extra would be fine.  Tell her what you're making for them so she knows you aren't just looking for money and go from there.   I know it's not much help but I just don't get her taking advantage without guilt or your putting up with it that long without saying anything, you should have said it from the start, that way she would have understood the situation from the beginning.   (Not criticizing just saying it was probably just a suprise so you got a negative reaction)

imechard
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:26 PM

How often do you watch her kids? Because there is a limit where it becomes different from aunt watching the kids, to free baby sitting. Like once a month is normal, more than that I can see your point. However I would not ask my own sister to bring food for her kids if I watched them occasionally.

What your mom is doing is mean and hateful to your kids and unless she brings enough for your kids she is not allowed. However, if your sister decides that she would provide McDonalds for HER kids while they are there, she is doing what you ask her to do and you can't complain about it.

Also in my family I communicate with my family and DH communicates with his as I do not feel that I am as effective communicating with his family as he is and vice versa. So I really do not think that your DH had any business telling your sister

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