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i don't know how to compliment people

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:35 PM
  • 8 Replies

what kind of compliments do you give your kids and husband?

i'm so dead serious.  i'm not sure WTF is wrong with me.  i'm uncomfortable with receiving compliments, and i certainly don't know how to give them.  sure, i am polite in the "please, thank you, you're welcome" way.  and i can give the topical, standard compliments like "you look nice tonight."  and while i'm always 100% sincere, that's where my skills end.  my "compliments" come out in the form of a thank you most of the time.  instead of complimenting my husband on being extra-thoughtful, i'll thank him for taking out the trash.  and i know it's not the same.  so i know this sounds odd, but could you give me some examples of things you compliment your husband on?  this is one area i know i need to work on, so please don't laugh at me... too much, anyway.

embarrassed


 

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:35 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mrs.curtis07
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:38 PM

i like to tell my husband i'm proud of him for the way he provides for us, and that i think he's an amazing provider.  and that i'm proud of his job and how hard he works, and that he's really good at it.  it makes him feel really good, and i really do mean it.

Wife to Brandon since 02.16.07 * Mommy to Emma Sue 12.27.07 * Henry Bishop is on his way!  EDD: 11.04.09*

I'm a proud U.S. Army combat veteran.


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:38 PM

When he cooks dinner I tell him how yummy it was.  For taking out garbage i say ty also.  I am not the best at giving or receiving compliments either.

mrs.curtis07
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:42 PM

oh and i have a million compliments i give to him about the kind of father he is.  i could go on in here, but the biggies are that he sacrifices so much for our kids and that he's such an amazing father because of how patient and gentle he is with our daughter, and also that i love it how he doesn't ever complain about changing all of her diapers when he comes home from a hard day at work and bathes her... etc... these also fuel his self-esteem, and again, i really do mean it :)

Quoting mrs.curtis07:

i like to tell my husband i'm proud of him for the way he provides for us, and that i think he's an amazing provider.  and that i'm proud of his job and how hard he works, and that he's really good at it.  it makes him feel really good, and i really do mean it.


Wife to Brandon since 02.16.07 * Mommy to Emma Sue 12.27.07 * Henry Bishop is on his way!  EDD: 11.04.09*

I'm a proud U.S. Army combat veteran.


luchousdiva
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:43 PM

Were you complimented alot as a child?  I am not aking to pry but like my mom worked very hard to pay you compliments she was not all about showing the feelings.  So I know I really have to work on it with my kids.  They love to hear man you sure look nice today, or when they do there homework I like to tell them that it is very neat.  Just keep practicing it will get easier.  

CoUrtNEyLeE
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:43 PM

I will say things like "your awesome thanks" when he takes out the trash or after sex I will thank him and tell him "it was amazing" sometimes or I will tell him that i am proud he is such a good daddy or tell him he makes cute babies

I don't know I say a lot of things I just don't remember it all!

wagnerswifee21
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:43 PM

Compliments from others to me make me very uncomfortable, probably b/c I have very low self-esteem. But I can say, I think the simple fact that you acknowledge anything that your DH is doing for you, even w a simple "thank you, I appreciate it" or "thanks, that was so helpful" shows that you are greatful, and I am quite sure he feels love from that, even if you feel it was not enough. I know my DH and DD, after dinner, always say "thank you, that was good babe/ mommy" and that alone makes me feel good.

nemiller
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:53 PM

nope, never really got compliments growing up.  my dad wasn't affectionate at all, really.  i knew he loved me, but he never gave compliments.  and my mom was affectionate, but she showed her love through action, not words.  and that's what i do.  i DO things for my family to show my appreciation and love.  i do things like buy him a special treat while i'm at the store, make sure i have his favorite foods in the house, or let him sleep in on saturdays.  i know that that's loving behavior, but i feel like he needs to hear it, too.  i guess it really is just a lot of practice... and stepping outside my comfort zone.  it just doesn't feel natural, lol.

Quoting luchousdiva:

Were you complimented alot as a child?  I am not aking to pry but like my mom worked very hard to pay you compliments she was not all about showing the feelings.  So I know I really have to work on it with my kids.  They love to hear man you sure look nice today, or when they do there homework I like to tell them that it is very neat.  Just keep practicing it will get easier.  



 

nemiller
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:55 PM

thank you to all of you ladies who replied.  i know it's got to sound pretty silly to those of you who can give compliments, but it's really new territory to me.


 

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