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please dont bash but do i need professional this normal??

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:50 AM
  • 24 Replies

OK before I start this I wanna BEG people to not be mean...this is a serious issue with me and I have only talked to one person before about it and it is taking everything out of me to talk about it now.


My DD will be 3 next month, she is my absolute reason for living. I know alot of parents say this but I'm not kidding...before I got pregnant with her I was an alcoholic,drug addict,drug dealer. The moment I found out i was pregnant EVERYTHING changed. I paid off my warrants, started school,got out of debt,made right with my family and I have been drug free for over 3 years now. I drink occasionally but because of my DD , and the strength she gives me I can control it. I still get urges but my DD just gives me this power that I never knew I had.


Well I think I need help, I don't know if this is normal but I am OVERLY PROTECTIVE of my DD and this started the day she was born. If someone (anyone) besides DH or I would hold her I would see these weird things in my someone dropping her...or running off with her. I have only let her stay over night with my mom 3 times and DHs mom 2 and other then that she hadn't stayed anywhere over night with out us. All summer I wouldn't let her play outside because I was afraid of someone stealing her and me not being able to stop them. If I cant sleep at night I get myself so worked up thinking about things that eventually she ends up in bed with us...FOR EXAMPLE.....about 3 weeks ago I had a knock at my door, when I answered it I recognized an old friend of my dads..he is seriously like a brother to my dad. I invited him and his wife in so I could call my dad...he talked to my dad on the phone (my dad now lives out of town) and then he left...they were really nice and we talked and reminisced about old times...well that night i was in bed and got this weird feeling that he and his wife were only here to scope out my house so they could come kidnap DD...I don't know why but I got HISTARICAL about it and begged DH to go get her so she could lay with us. My sister asks all the time for HER to go somewhere but I cant let go...I'm scared...well DD has been asking lately to go places and I have been letting her because I know she really wants to go...she stayed with my best friend and her daughter over night and I didn't get any sleep all night because my friends DD has a bunk bed and I kept seeing images of my DD falling and breaking her neck. My mom took her one day for a road trip and I threw up 2 times because I kept thinking of wrecks. I have panic attacks when she isn't with me, because of all of this that is why I'm a nanny...she gets to go to work with me...I wrote in a previous post that DH and I hadn't been out in 6 months...well this is the reason why.  I don't let anyone besides DH and I bathe her in fear of her drowning. I check the doors and windows 3 times a night because I'm afraid of someone stealing her. PLEASE I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE BUT ONE PERSON THIS AND MY DH..ITS STARTING TO BE A BIG PROBLEM BECASUE DD WANTS TO GO MORE PLACES NOW....HOW DO I GET THESE IMAGES TO STOP...DO I NEED HELP?? IS THIS NORMAL??

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:50 AM
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by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:52 AM

You don't have to put it on here but I think you should get help for whatever happened that led you into that lifestyle first and foremost...bad childhood...rape...abuse...something happened to you prior to you being an I wrong?

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:53 AM

pm me if you'd like... i used to have issues like this before i became a mom.  turns out i had OCD tendencies, but they almost never happen anymore.  pm me if you want any support or help, and if i were you (and i was at one time) i'd go get some help.  

Wife to Brandon since 02.16.07 * Mommy to Emma Sue 12.27.07 * Henry Bishop is on his way!  EDD: 11.04.09*

I'm a proud U.S. Army combat veteran.

by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:54 AM

I dont think its normal. I do think you need professional help. It sounds like it just might be anxiety... Hope you get the help you need soon.

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by Angela on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:54 AM

 i have no idea if its normal but ive those ugly thoughts too but mostly when they were newborns,i would think of how fragile they were and all the horrible things that happen to babies and it woulod be kinda depressing to be around them but i would die if i wasnt with them,this is still true. so like i said idk if its normal but im with ya! lol

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:56 AM

It sounds like an anxiety disorder...which is really, fairly common. My friend has anxiety attacks sometimes, she's on an RX from her reg Dr. I don't think you're like 'mental' or anything, but I would talk to your family doc and see if he/she can give you something for that. 

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by Monica on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:59 AM

I think we're all A BIT over-protective of our kids,hey we're moms we have to be,iif we do'nt who will?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But ya,not to be mean,I think you should consdier at least tallking to someone,at least you''re letting her go places,that i itself is  good,as a PP  said,anything happen to you in your past?Good luck,I hope yyou find some answers.And congrats on getting clean & staying cclean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:59 AM

I would see your dr and explain to them how you are feeling.  If something did happen in your past then get help for that immediately.  There are social workers that work under psychiatrists that can be easier to talk to about things

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:00 AM

I think that if it's at all possible, maybe you could start seeing some kind of therapist. It sounds like some kind of anxiety or paranoia thing. I know this is not going to be easy for you to hear, and it was VERY brave of you to come out about this. Try not to get all worked up over it though. I have similar thoughts and images too, and I think a lot of it is a sign of the times. We're living in a dangerous world. The bad thing I see about how you're dealing with it though is the fact that your DD is not going to get the chance to just BE a little girl without you hovering over her constantly. Your concerns to SOME degree are valid...except maybe when you mentioned that part of the old friend of your dad's. I would try to get some help, and just the fact that you addressed this and feel your need is the first and most important crucial step! I'm proud of you!

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:02 AM

Yes you need to get some counseling. I agree with the previous posts. Either you  might have OCD or something happened in your child hood that made you like this. I can understand wanting to protect your child. But randomly having terrible thoughts and their isnt a reaon for it is NOT normal or healthy for you or your marriage. Youre stressing yourself out and i might be putting a strain on your marriage. U did say u guys havent been out in 6 months because of this. If you continue down this road it will get worst and when your daughter is older it will drive a wedge between you guys. Get some help asap. The fact that you had to post this asking if something was wrong with it lets me know that you already know something is wrong. I think u just needed conformation. I pray things get better 4u. 

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:08 AM

I'm like that too. But I'm paranoid of my DS's birth family kidnapping him. There were so many issues with them, the SWs were even telling me to be careful (foster care). But the birth family knows who we are and I'm so afraid. I can't tell you how many babysitters we went through before I found one that I could trust. I trust her because I work with her mom and she literally is minutes away. When she is here, they are on lockdown inside. No one watches my kids unless there is no option. DH and I have literally been on 2 dates in almost 4 yrs. DS is 3 and has never spent the night without either one of us. I'm even paranoid to leave him with my parents, they are his guardians if something happens to DH and I.

Now, we do go outside, all the time. But I'm always looking around. There have been a few nights that I got "that feeling", I make sure that I protect my family the best that I can, have the baby monitor on in his room, and check on him on and off all night long. If you are worried, you can always ask your doctor.

Congratulations BTW on staying clean =)

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