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smoking

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 4:12 AM
  • 37 Replies

Hi ladies, I smoke so I don't know how to explain this. I found out that my oldest son who is 12 has been stealing my cigarettes and smoking. I don't know how to confront him about it. I am divorced so there is no male presence in his life or anything. But I found a pack of my cigarettes in his jeans when I was doing the laundry yesterday. I was shocked and don't know what to say to him. He doesn't know that I found out I don't think because I haven't confronted him about it. I've never had to deal with this before so this is all new to me. If someone could help me out here it would be greatly appreicated.

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 4:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LilrockerMama
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 4:18 AM

get all kinds of information on why not to smoke. show some pretty horrible stuff and just talk to him. tell him that it takes over your life once you let it. i smoke so i understand. Thats a tough one though. Good luck!

OneBusyMom72
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 4:22 AM

I think he'll say but you smoke or something  like that. I don't know what would make him want to smoke though.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 4:34 AM


Quoting OneBusyMom72:

I think he'll say but you smoke or something  like that. I don't know what would make him want to smoke though.

He sees you smoking so he thinks it is ok if he does also.  Also there could be friends pressuring him to smoke.   Would it be possible to have an open dialogue (sp) and possibly quit together?  And with the money saved from not buying cigarettes you could do a movie night.

TJP_ASP_MOMMY
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 6:42 AM

Talk to him about all the problems with smoking and tell him that you both can stop together. 

<3 Aubri Stacia & Tyler Joseph <3


MarchMarie
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 7:18 AM

 I hate to say it but the only way might be to quit with him like the others suggested.

My parents found out I was smoking when I was 14 yo. I had been smoking a year at that point. They grounded me and told me not to.  Yeah Right!  I didnt quit until I was 20yo and pregnant. I just got better at hiding it, since they smoked so much they still didnt notice when one pack went missing, or that I came home smelling of cigarettes One year and 2 months without a cigarette now, but its not easy.

If my parents had done the you quit we quit thing, who knows...

ETA- the graphic pictures will probably not work for him. My school was all about showing the nastiest pictures  to get kids not to smoke, but at 13yo they didnt stop me from lighting up as soon as I got home.

OneBusyMom72
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 7:32 AM

I could try quitting but I don't know how successful I'm going to be.

Quoting frndlyfn:

 

Quoting OneBusyMom72:

I think he'll say but you smoke or something  like that. I don't know what would make him want to smoke though.

He sees you smoking so he thinks it is ok if he does also.  Also there could be friends pressuring him to smoke.   Would it be possible to have an open dialogue (sp) and possibly quit together?  And with the money saved from not buying cigarettes you could do a movie night.


MommaGreenhalge
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 7:41 AM

I think parents who smoke should at some point expect that their kids will do this.  If you don't want to quit, explain to him that it is illegal for him to smoke at this age, and that you can get in trouble for providing ciggarettes to him, and so could anyone else who did.  (Technically, this is true.  You COULD get in trouble.  It IS illegal.  But good luck finding a cop who cares).

What the other ladies are saying is probably likely to be more effective, though.  The best way to teach someone something is to do it in front of them.  My husband doesn't smoke because he saw how hard it was for his mom to quit.  He didn't want to go through that.

If you want a really practical reason to quit, the recession is it.  How much money every month do you spend on ciggarettes?  What else could you do with it?

5littlefinns
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 7:46 AM

Here's what my grandfather did to my mom when he caughter her smoking. I think she was like 15, and my gf was a smoker. He made her stand in front of a mirror, so she could see how cool she looked, and then he made her chain smoke an entire pack. By the time she was finished she was so sick she never smoked again! Also, when she first decided to take up drinking, he let her try to drink him under the table. The resultant illness put her off that for life too! He was a smart man, and he never told her she couldn't smoke or drink. He just said, you want to smoke, fine. Show me how much you want to smoke. You smoke this whole pack and then we'll see. Good luck with your son, and may I please encourage you to quit? If nothing else you don't want to put your son through what I've gone through now with my gf and am currently going through with my father-watching them slowly suffocate to death. I wish you the best.

RheaF
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 7:47 AM


Quoting frndlyfn:

 

Quoting OneBusyMom72:

I think he'll say but you smoke or something  like that. I don't know what would make him want to smoke though.

He sees you smoking so he thinks it is ok if he does also.  Also there could be friends pressuring him to smoke.   Would it be possible to have an open dialogue (sp) and possibly quit together?  And with the money saved from not buying cigarettes you could do a movie night.

I agree. He sees Mom do it so why not. And honestly you can show him pics till you blue but untill you quit, all he is going to see is a hypocrite.  But then again the only way your going to quit is if you really want to. Which it doesnt sound like you really do. Maybe talk with his Dr about it, get some tips. Good luck.

Summer04
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 8:04 AM

Not trying to be rude but w/this answer I can tell you that you won't be successful.

You have to want to quit smoking and it is hard, it is a drug addiction.  I never smoked while pregnant but as soon as I wasn't I picked right back up, b/c I wasn't ready to quit.

I finally became ready when I was getting a sinus infection about 3x a month.  I have not had a smoke in about 8months and I've only had a total of 3 sinus infections since then.

But you really have to want to.  Do your research, I know many show scarey things on TV and such but I don't think many of pay attention b/c we feel they are scare tactics.  But when you do your research you will see that they really aren't.

I am glad I quit smoking.  Do I crave them still, hell yes.  But I have found that when I do I go do something to get my mind off of it.  I have even started to work out b/c it is a great stress reliever and I smoked mostly b/c I was stressed.

Honestly, I didn't just quit b/c of my infections I quit b/c of my kids as well.  I didn't want them to start smoking and I couldn't tell them it was wrong if I was doing.

But I won't lie, it won't be successful unless you really want it.  I quit many many times before, but I wasn't ready so I failed!

You need to talk to him, show him why it's a bad habit to start.  Tell him you don't want him to start the nasty habit like you did b/c it is so hard to quit.

Quoting OneBusyMom72:

I could try quitting but I don't know how successful I'm going to be.

Quoting frndlyfn:


Quoting OneBusyMom72:

I think he'll say but you smoke or something  like that. I don't know what would make him want to smoke though.

He sees you smoking so he thinks it is ok if he does also.  Also there could be friends pressuring him to smoke.   Would it be possible to have an open dialogue (sp) and possibly quit together?  And with the money saved from not buying cigarettes you could do a movie night.



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