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I just want to Scream!

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:27 AM
  • 11 Replies

This is what Iam talking about. We had a little girl for three years. When we got her she was almost two when she left us almost five. When we got her she was thought to be severly autistic. She would sit and bang her head and rock back and forth. She didn't speak, feed herself, or walk. It turned out her bio mom had just enviromentally deprived her. Basically kept her in a crib never teaching her to walk or talk.

Over the first two years we had her we taught her to walk, talk, feed herself, ect. We taught her sign language combined with speech and she over came all her issue. By the time she was four she was on target. We were supposed to move forward toward adoption.

Fast forward a little after eight different workers they decided to return her to her biological family. The biological mom had not reformed was still a mentally ill herion addict. We were given twenty four hours and the child was removed from the only home she had ever known. The last time we saw her she was screaming begging us to save her as the worker drug her from our home.

Fast forward six years she is now twelve. She apparently fell through the cracks in the system. She was back in and they wanted to know if we would take her. We were initially excited to help her. Then we found out the system had destroyed this beautiful girl. They allowed her to be in the most horrific surroundings, that included physical and sexual abuse. She is now at a point that she is unsafe to bring into our home around our children. She is violent and acts out.

This breaks my heart. She was a beautiful intelligent child who did not deserve this. She has been placed in a group home and her prognosis isn't good. Most likely she will age out of the sytem and fall by the wayside. I hope some how Iam wrong.

I just want to scream! Someone has to stop the system from destrying these kids. How can they lose track of a child and no one is held accountable? How could they allow her to be damaged like

Check out my book http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Yes-They-Are-All-Mine/Linda-Dyson/e/9781438909295/?itm=3   You can help save lives check it out !




reading

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
theRonimal
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:30 AM

That is awful! To all foster parents: Trust your instincts, and if you ever encounter a situation like this, Don't let it happen! Fight tooth and nail to protect the children, and hopefully we can act as their benefactor. 

momaof8
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:33 AM

We had no recourse we had fought with everything we had, but we were just the foster parents and they were runifying her with her biological family. No matter what you know you have no power.

Quoting theRonimal:

That is awful! To all foster parents: Trust your instincts, and if you ever encounter a situation like this, Don't let it happen! Fight tooth and nail to protect the children, and hopefully we can act as their benefactor. 

 

Check out my book http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Yes-They-Are-All-Mine/Linda-Dyson/e/9781438909295/?itm=3   You can help save lives check it out !




reading

FutureSoccerM0m
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:34 AM

oh how incredibly sad. i wish this kid all the best!

zbee
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:35 AM

That is heart breaking, I've seen this happen too often. Bless that little girls heart, and dam the people that would give her back to these dysfunctional people to destroy. I know you must be very hurt over this and I'm so sorry this happened to this precious baby. 

theRonimal
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:36 AM

I don't care if they say we have no power. THEY were obviously wrong about sending her back. So I will continue to fight, no. matter. what.

Quoting momaof8:

We had no recourse we had fought with everything we had, but we were just the foster parents and they were runifying her with her biological family. No matter what you know you have no power.

Quoting theRonimal:

That is awful! To all foster parents: Trust your instincts, and if you ever encounter a situation like this, Don't let it happen! Fight tooth and nail to protect the children, and hopefully we can act as their benefactor. 



ceashell707
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:38 AM

The system is so intensely dysfunctional.  My friend and old neighbor is wheel chair bound.  She was given a baby at 2 weeks old.  She raised this child as her own for 2 years.  This baby was an amazing, bright, beautiful child.  She fell ill with flu and ended up in hospital. The social workers, spurred by the nurses, took the baby out of the hospital, no warning.  Saying my friend was unable to keep up with a toddler due to being in a wheel chair.

ONLY to 2 months later, give her a 3 year old!  What sense did that make?

I'm sorry that poor girl slipped through the cracks, however, at 12, she still has plenty of time to turn around with the right family.  I hope she gets the chance.  I'm sure it is very heartbreaking you. 

ginger813
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:40 AM

 That is so sad. I'm so sorry for you and that poor child. My mom was a foster parent when I was a child, so I have an idea of what it's like to get "attached" to someone and have them ripped away,but that is just senseless. Why on Earth would they put her back with the bio. family without checking to make sure it was safe?! It just doesn't make sense.bad

Alishia655
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:41 AM

I used to work for the state, actually (any foster parents will know what this is) I was a guardian ad litem. They speak for what is best for the child in the courtroom. I had one case where my boss wanted me to remove a child from his mom. She was 16 and rejected by the majority of her family. A family member let her stay in a 5th wheel, but it was in the middle of an orchard. I wouldnt remove the child, he wasnt in immediate danger. He was healthy, well cared for, and never neglected. I helped her find a job, get a place of her own, get into parenting classes and all that. My boss didnt like that, and she suspended me, eventually I quit, but the point is that there are people who look out for these children, but the state's not willing to do their job and protect children. My prayers are with this little girl and hope that its not too late to help her!

momaof8
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:43 AM

How? What would you have done that we did not? I went to court, we fought, but we had no biological ties and were just the foster family in the courts eyes. I have written, called, emailed every official in Nj. I wrote a book to promote change. I kept tabs as best I could on the child we called every six months everytime being told they couldn't give me any info as we were no longer the foster parents. So what didn't we do?

Quoting theRonimal:

I don't care if they say we have no power. THEY were obviously wrong about sending her back. So I will continue to fight, no. matter. what.

Quoting momaof8:

We had no recourse we had fought with everything we had, but we were just the foster parents and they were runifying her with her biological family. No matter what you know you have no power.

Quoting theRonimal:

That is awful! To all foster parents: Trust your instincts, and if you ever encounter a situation like this, Don't let it happen! Fight tooth and nail to protect the children, and hopefully we can act as their benefactor. 

 



Check out my book http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Yes-They-Are-All-Mine/Linda-Dyson/e/9781438909295/?itm=3   You can help save lives check it out !




reading

momaof8
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 8:57 AM

It would have been wonderful if she had a guardian ad lightem, but she was never had one assigned. Some of our kids cases had them, but the case loads in NJ sre so over whelming not everyone gets assigned one.

Quoting Alishia655:

I used to work for the state, actually (any foster parents will know what this is) I was a guardian ad litem. They speak for what is best for the child in the courtroom. I had one case where my boss wanted me to remove a child from his mom. She was 16 and rejected by the majority of her family. A family member let her stay in a 5th wheel, but it was in the middle of an orchard. I wouldnt remove the child, he wasnt in immediate danger. He was healthy, well cared for, and never neglected. I helped her find a job, get a place of her own, get into parenting classes and all that. My boss didnt like that, and she suspended me, eventually I quit, but the point is that there are people who look out for these children, but the state's not willing to do their job and protect children. My prayers are with this little girl and hope that its not too late to help her!


Check out my book http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Yes-They-Are-All-Mine/Linda-Dyson/e/9781438909295/?itm=3   You can help save lives check it out !




reading

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