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So....need some love *edit gonna tell the truth about what I did*

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:49 AM
  • 49 Replies

I havent been on in awhile. I did something very stupid. And I've been in the hospital. I'm home now and really feel like I need some support and love today. My parents are too pissed off at me to even talk to me, so I thought I'd come on here and see if anyone cares.

 

Ok, when I wrote this post I didnt know if I wanted to tell everyone what I did because I am afraid of being judged, but I want to get it out of my system. For those of you who havent been following my story. I lost my husband a couple years ago, and I recently had a miscarriage. Well, needless to say I have been very upset. Losing this baby only made the pain of loosing my husband worse. I just cant seem to move on and be happy. Like I said in a previous post, I used to have a drug problem. Well, last week, I was so low, lower than I have ever been. I just couldnt take the sadness anymore. So, I ended up falling back into the drugs. Well, I overdosed. I have been in the hospital the past few days and my kids have been taken away from me. My parents have them. I feel horrible. I know I shouldnt have done it, but the pain was so intense. Now, not only am I sad but I have all this gulit about my kids not being with me. It's only temporary and they dont know what is going on. They just think they are spending time with Grandma and Grandpa. I have to take classes and go to meeting. And I have to see a therapist. Also, I have to do random drug testing. After three months of all this, the court will decide if I get my kids back. I am a horrible person and a terrible mother. Maybe they are better off without me.

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
isra1986
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:51 AM

I am glad you are out of the hospital. PM me if you need a friend :)
If you did what I think you did, I can help, I just went through something with my mom. SHe did something stupid and spent 3 weeks in the hospital.

ramadan mubarak

tigerlily721
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:52 AM

Of course we care! Especially if you have drama or juicy gossip! lol

Supposedly there are funnies every Friday. I'll go see if I can find the post. That should lift your spirit!


kgsharber
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:53 AM

Welcome back! 

Rebecca204
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:54 AM

well if you need anyone to talk to  then i am here 4 you, i hope you are doing better, i know u said you were in the hospital, I am saying some prayers for you right now, God Bless.

kiwi05amber
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:57 AM

hugs

i'm a mommy, wife, lover, bitch hater, no drama queen, organic feeding, sweet cooking, housewife, maid, skinny cow loving, tan, hair dying, victoria secret wearing, who wears short shorts, birth controling, tuber, wine drinking, extreme sports, pampered chef loving, work out everday kind of wowman!!

Marvynsmama
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:58 AM

Hope you are feeling better! I just really started coming on cafemom on a regular basis in the past week, so i dont really know a lot of ladies but, i am here if you need someone to talk to, send me message if you want.

Sexy_mamaof2
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 9:59 AM

Thank you ladies. It's sad that I have to rely on "strangers" to support and love me. But I'm glad I have this site or I think I would go crazy.  

Sexy_mamaof2
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:12 AM

 I feel sick after admitting this to everyone.

lovemylilgirl84
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:18 AM

 hugs hang in there. Everything will be ok.

               Rest in peace Jay. I will always love you.


Marvynsmama
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:19 AM

I can't tell you everything will be ok mama, but what i can tell you this doesn't make you a horrible mother or person!!!!!!! Not many people handle the loss of a loved one well, and I don't know what i would do myself if i lost my husband. Everyone makes mistakes and we have to live with them and try our best to fix it. Your children are safe, they arent in foster care, they are with people who love them, you need to work on YOU before excepting them back. The more guilty you feel the worse its going to be. You have to tell yourself, what i did was not the solution, so do what you gotta to fix it and move on. You are always going to have sorrow for your loss. My mother lost my dad when i was three and he was one of those husbands that every wife dreams of, handsome, hard working, and an excellent father and provider. I still to this day dont know how she made it thru but she did, as will you. Be strong, if not for yourself, then for your children and realize one day he will thank you being strong and moving on, for them and yourself.

Quoting Sexy_mamaof2:

 I feel sick after admitting this to everyone.


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