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how many ppl want to be there while you are waiting to give birth??? vent

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:47 AM
  • 27 Replies

Personally I do not think it is neccessary to have your whole family sitting around waiting for the baby. I keep telling ppl that I will call when I am for sure going to have her ( i see no point in telling the world im on the way to the hospital just to call back and say false alarm) but ppl (mostly my grama) keep saying NO i want you to call me when u leave for the hospital and I keep saying that I don't want everyone there while I am dialating, waiting to push and all that KWIM?

Of course I will have my mom call when the event is about to happen but that could take HOURS and mostly I don't want ppl in and out of the room while Im waiting for the pushing stage. At the child birth class the lady was saying you can have 5ppl in the room at any point up to going into the delivery room then it's only 2. I'm thinking 5ppl!! no way in hell I want 5ppl in there watching me have contrations!!

Anyway if this is your first what do you plan to do and if it's not your first what did you do with previous births? Please help. I don't want to hurt ppl's feelings but I am the one in labor!

oh also apparently bc I feel this way my other grama said she will just wait til I get out of the hospital to come see us! That is not what I was trying to do I just don't want ppl watching me ! ugh

thanks for letting me vent

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sxybxmami
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:52 AM

Well when I went into labor I had my hubby, and my mom with me. My grandma came with my mom too. My mom left early like around 2am, I was in the hospital since 7pm, She had to go to work so my grandma and hubby were there when I gave birth.  I wanted all three of them there I needed their support. This was my first baby so I neded all the support I could get. I was scared, and in pain.  But if i had another one i would have all three of them there again

nancycsel
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:54 AM

For my first  it was just my husband with me and it will be the same with this pregnancy.  I would love if my sister and/or mom were there but they live 6 1/2 hours away so not really possible.  Once we got admitted to labor and delivery I called my family and a few friends to tell them I was in the hospital. Then I didn't call them until after we had our daughter.

Does your family know the hospital rules on the 5 ppl? When we went on our hospital tour, the nurse told us to lie to family and friends and tell them what we wanted and as long as we let the nurses know they would back us up.  So you can say.. sorry they will only let SO and 1 other person there. Good luck! 


lvnmylif
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:56 AM

The most people I had at the birth was two.  With every child I have had different people there.  My sister attended on and with my last it was just me and my MIL.  I don't have any family here though.

mdwright4
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 11:58 AM

LYING! duh lol. I feel for those that don't have there families close by but if I were to let them come in in would be a constant parade of ppl! my aunt, cousin, all 4grandparents, other cousins, dad, sister, baby daddy, his family...the list goes on and I am not one of those ppl that likes to be surrounded. I actually told my mom I didn't want ANYONE in there bc that is my personality but she was like no way SOMEONE ANYONE will be in there blah blah blah

Quoting nancycsel:

For my first  it was just my husband with me and it will be the same with this pregnancy.  I would love if my sister and/or mom were there but they live 6 1/2 hours away so not really possible.  Once we got admitted to labor and delivery I called my family and a few friends to tell them I was in the hospital. Then I didn't call them until after we had our daughter.

Does your family know the hospital rules on the 5 ppl? When we went on our hospital tour, the nurse told us to lie to family and friends and tell them what we wanted and as long as we let the nurses know they would back us up.  So you can say.. sorry they will only let SO and 1 other person there. Good luck! 


mommy_of3boys
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:15 PM

With my first my Mom, 2 of my sisters, my G-ma, my MIL and FIL and SIL all wanted to be there along wiht my DH waiting for hours for the baby to come.  I had already told everyone when it happens that I don't want a single person in that room except my DH. 

Well, I was 41 weeks and dying so I begged to be induced during my Thursday appt.  My Dr said ok, if we don't see you over the weekend come in 5:30 Tuesday morning and you'll have a baby.  I didn't tell a soul!  I waited until Monday night to tell DH, I knew he would tell his parents, who live 2 hours away, but still.  I told him he could call them, depending how fast I was dilating, when I was half way there.  That would give his Mom the 2 hours she needs to get ready and then the 2 hour drive.  Other wise we weren't telling anyone until I was atleast an 8. 

So we went in on Tuesday to be induced and hadn't told anyone.  They started my drip at about 8, not sure why I had to be there at 5 freaking 30!  haha  And sure enough about 10am my sister walks in!  I was like how the Hell did you know I was here and please tell me you didn't tell anyone!!  She had gone to my house and when I wasn't home she just knew that is where I had to be since only one car was gone and we almost never take just one car!  Plus the dogs were out in the yard, it was a HOT Sep so we had been keeping them inside most of the day.  My sister had already called my Mom and she walked in a short time later.  After my epi I was like I don't want anyone in here, sorry.  I had to tell the nurses not to let anyone in, they were PISSED!!  And EVERYONE, plus some, were out there waiting the whole time!

With my second, he was 4 weeks early so when I went into labor it was totally different.  I was seperated and living with my Mom.  My BFF had come over for dinner when her and my Mom suspected I was in labor, I denied it not knowing what it was like to go naturally.  Plus I was 4 weeks early, couldn't be.  Well, my Mom forced me to go to the hospital and sure enough it was happening.  Since it was early and we didn't know if he would be life flighted to a hospital with a NICU or not my Mom didn't call anyone, my friend watch my oldest and my sister.  Otherwise no one knew until it was over and my baby was fine.  No NICU thank God!

With my 3rd, my family was 50 miles away and didn't want to make the drive.  My fiance's family said it was a time for the parents, plus they were watching my oldest 2 and didn't even come to see the baby after he was born. 

So for my 2nd and 3rd there was only one person in the room the whole time, like I wanted! 

If I have anymore, I want one more (come one girl!!), I will have my AUnt (who is studying to be a midwife and my DH and it will NOT be at a hospital!  (Unless of course there are problems and I'm high risk for some reason.)

 

 

 

Mama2HannahLynn
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:16 PM

We had about 20 people waiting when I had Hannah! Family and friends... To us, it's almost like a wedding... it's the most important time of your life, it's a brand new person and member of the family!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

isra1986
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:17 PM

My entire family was in the wiating room. The entire night. Even my mommom, who is in a wheele chair was there all night! They wanted to be, who am I to stop them?
In the room I could only pick 3 people. My DH, mom and aunt. That pissed the rest of the family off, but they still stayed in the waiting room. They weren't even allowed back to visit me! Lol.
I thought it was awesome that my family loved and cared about DD and I enough to just be there. It meant alot!

ramadan mubarak

Jademom07
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:17 PM

I had my dh, parents, and my sis in the room until it was time to push...the rest of the family camped out in the waiting room for the 32 hours it took for DD to come.  Occasionally, one of them would pop in to say hi.  When I started pushing, my sister and dad left (dad would have stayed if I'd have asked him too)

 

bklaser
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Hey mama! I just had my daughter three weeks ago. During the dialting stage I had my mom, dad and husband in the room with me(my mother in law, father in law and brother in law stopped in for a moment). Of course they left when they did exams and such. The only one who stayed for the pushing was my husband. When they took me from there to the recovery section of the hosptial for moms and babies... EVERYONE and there mom came in. Which I was NEVER okay with. I just wanted time with my baby and husband. When it came down to it too many people had come and the nurse made everyone leave except my mom, dad and husband. (mostly because I told my mom and dad to go to the cafe and Id text them when everyone left lol). Just tell everyone you will call one person and that person can all the rest but you prefer no-one comes until after the baby is born. :) I hope it works out better for you than it did me. All else fails the nnurses LOVE kicking people out. Ask them to do it :)

vbutterfly1021
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 12:22 PM
the only one i'm planning to have with me is my boyfriend. i wouldn't mind my mom being there with me if it's a long labor but once I'm ready to go I just want it to be me and him. As far as who wants to spend hours in the waiting room...that wouldn't bother me at all as long as they know they are not coming in. After the baby's born, although I'll be tired, I'm def looking forward to having everyone come see me to share in the joy. In the end, i think it's your moment and you should have it the way you feel most comfortable and it's okay if that hurts other people's feelings. just say it nicely and it's up to them to be understanding.
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