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Would you be Upset?

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:02 PM
  • 25 Replies

A little background information:


My ex and I have a two year old son together. Our relationship during the pregnancy was rocky, but things got a lot better after he was born. I've been engaged for a while and told him immediately after my SO proposed. 

I try to be very open with the ex. We live 2 hours away, but I am constantly driving there and back so my son can have family time with his father. My ex is a great dad and we get along well. We're pretty good friends and usually spend holidays together. 

A couple weeks ago, I saw another car seat in his car and asked him if he was dating someone. It took a while to get it out of him but eventually he confirmed it. I was happy for him! UNTIL he told me that the woman had a child and our kids got along really well. 

We discussed new relationships before and I told him that it was extremely important for me to know who is spending time with my son so I can help him understand what is going on. I trust his judgement, I just want to know who all is on my team when it comes to Owen. 

So, he said yeah, yeah yeah.

Then I find out through facebook 3 days later that hes engaged! I ask if we can all meet at the park or something this weekend so I can meet her and he agrees. Just to see how she interacts with her kid and introduce myself. 

THEN TODAY I find out that they got married! He didn't tell me about the engagement or his marriage. I found out on facebook.

I'm trying to keep an open relationship with this guy and I consider us friends. Would you be upset?


by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandi8806
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:04 PM

hell ya i would have been pissed

mom22tumblebugs
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM

No because it is his own personal business and he wants to maintain his privacy and respect to his spouse.

Owiesmommy
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:08 PM

I just don't think my two year old should be the one to tell me. I don't want to know for my benefit. Its for his. 

Martina70
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:08 PM

I would be upset too.

Was your son at the wedding?  I think that would bother me the most if (hypothetically DH and split up) if our kids weren't at his wedding.

(I remember being jealous as a kid when I saw pictures of other little girls as flower girls at my parents wedding and being mad I wasn't one of them- which would have been impossible because I wasn't even conceived yet)


Owiesmommy
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:10 PM


Quoting Martina70:

I would be upset too.

Was your son at the wedding?  I think that would bother me the most if (hypothetically DH and split up) if our kids weren't at his wedding.

(I remember being jealous as a kid when I saw pictures of other little girls as flower girls at my parents wedding and being mad I wasn't one of them- which would have been impossible because I wasn't even conceived yet)


He wasn't. Her son was and so were his nephews. If he would have told me, I would have been happy to have driven him down. 

I didn't even think of that. 

AandEx2
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:10 PM

Yes I would be upset. I think you are right and wanting to know who is around your child. It's not like you are trying to run his life but this is your son! I don't think guys get this. 

Hopefully it will all work out. It must be really hard to share your son and trust his father. 


Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:10 PM

I get that, but the OP has a right to at meet the person who is going to be helping to raise her child.

Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

No because it is his own personal business and he wants to maintain his privacy and respect to his spouse.


Michelle2080
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:11 PM

 I'd be very very upset....... but...... would I have the right to be? Probably not, he isn't with you anymore and doesn't have to tell you anything. Unfortunately I think it definately would have been the best thing to do for the sake of your son so that you could discuss some issues, but he didn't have to. It's never fair! I think it was pretty immature of him to completely leave it out.

soakley
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:11 PM

I would be upset in the sense that you guys have a son together and you should know who is around your son, as should he. He doesnt have to tell you iuf he is getting married or whatever, but he should let his son be there and you should know the woman who will be around your son for a while.

247mamaandwife
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 3:12 PM

I would  be taken back more then upset becuase i had the common curtosy to let him know i was engaged ect. plus i put itout there how i felt all that and he ignored it


wedding website

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