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My mom tried to kill herself.....(kinda long....)

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:47 AM
  • 17 Replies

no my tital is not fake, I am serious......here is some background

When i was 9 I was taken from my mom (not the first time) and placed in foster care. Luckily I was placed with an AMAZING family who was willing to take me in for good. I have always talked to my real mom though, we stayed in contact and on occassion (when she was clean...not drinking or using drugs) I would visit her. She has always been a part of my life weather i lived with her or not...not always a good relationship, but a relationship nevertheless. Now i am all grown up and living on my own (have been for a few years now) and am pregnant with my second child.

I can tell if my mom is clean by how much contact she has with me, If she is using I wont hear from her in days, weeks, and sometimes months. I have always tried to care for her, always tried to help her...and usually it never it works.

Recently, I hadnt heard from her in about a month and ran into her in my old neighborhood. She was not only wasted but continueing to drink as i walked up to her to confront her. We got into an agruement and i told her not to call me EVER.....not the best thing, but neccassary at the time. A week or so after i called her to check on her and she apologized and cried and did her usual bit of making me feel guilty for her mistakes, At this point i told her i loved her, but she will not see the kids until she get herself back on track. She is not a good person when she is using and i dont want MY children to grow up viewing her the way i did growing up. This hurt her feelings, but I had to do it to protect my child(ren) and i will stand my ground on this.

Last night I get a call from the local hospital saying my mom has been placed in the Psychiatric unit. (I am her immediate/emergency contact person) I find out what happens (she Over dosed on meds. PURPOSLY (not just trying to get high). I talked to her later last evening and she want me to come see her. I want to see her, but she wants me to bring my DS. I know right now she is having a hard time and i want to do anything that will make her feel....like life is worth living....but i dont think the psych ward is the best place. He is 16 months old, and wont remember it at all....but i just don't know....I feel...Off about bringing him there. Like i said before, i dont want him to see her like that. but it would help her to see him....

anyways, what would you ladies do? and if you need anymore info, feel free to ask!

 

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
airbear41
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:51 AM

I'm sorry your mom put you thru all that. I can understand if you go and see her while she is still in psych, but I definitely wouldn't bring your kids in there.

Kestrel1
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 9:53 AM

Tough love.

Your kid is not a hospital gift shop teddy bear. 

You are not responsible for your mothers will to live or her sobriety.

You do not deserve to be held hostage to her will to live or her sobriety and your child is not a bargaining tool.  If she feels this is a workable way to gain access to your kids, even when she is doing things that you do not want in your kids lives, there will be repeat performances.

I wouldn't bring the kids.  This is not a memory they need - even subconsciously.

newagemom700
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:00 AM

BUMP

Mommy2twoboyz22
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM
No offense to your mom but there are some crazy people in there im sure and that may petrify a small child.maybe bring her some good pictures.
I am a 22 year old christian,church-going,bible-believing married sahm who formula feeds,bottle props,uses cio method,spanks,loves to sing but not in public,loves sleeping,my mom is my best friend,very opinionated in my beliefs,pro-life no matter what,dont support the action of being gay or lesbian,holy ghost speaking in tongues believer thats who i am and it will never change!
newagemom700
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM

I know I am not responsible for her, but she IS my mother, and i would feel guilty if something i did...or didnt do effected if she lived or not. and I my conflict is i think bring DS to see her would HELP her in her healing and recovery, not make him into a bargaining tool, but as you said...This is not something i want him to see....

Quoting Kestrel1:

Tough love.

Your kid is not a hospital gift shop teddy bear. 

You are not responsible for your mothers will to live or her sobriety.

You do not deserve to be held hostage to her will to live or her sobriety and your child is not a bargaining tool.  If she feels this is a workable way to gain access to your kids, even when she is doing things that you do not want in your kids lives, there will be repeat performances.

I wouldn't bring the kids.  This is not a memory they need - even subconsciously.


Heather0816
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM

I agree with this!

Quoting Kestrel1:

Tough love.

Your kid is not a hospital gift shop teddy bear. 

You are not responsible for your mothers will to live or her sobriety.

You do not deserve to be held hostage to her will to live or her sobriety and your child is not a bargaining tool.  If she feels this is a workable way to gain access to your kids, even when she is doing things that you do not want in your kids lives, there will be repeat performances.

I wouldn't bring the kids.  This is not a memory they need - even subconsciously.


 


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newagemom700
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:05 AM

It's not a public visitation. They put us in a seperate room away from everyone, so he would not be exposed to anyone else....

Quoting Mommy2twoboyz22:

No offense to your mom but there are some crazy people in there im sure and that may petrify a small child.maybe bring her some good pictures.


AJmum
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:07 AM

 I would explain to her just like you explained it to us. Mom I love you and I really want you to be in DS's life. But as his mother I don't feel like that is the best place for him. When you are ready to come home he will be the first one you see. Then maybe bring him a framed picture of your son?

crazypinkzebra
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:07 AM

I would not bring your child there.  She is an adult and needs to learn that there are consequesnces to things that you do.  I know she is going through a hard time but she has to take that hard time as an adult not a child.  She has to help herself before you can help her and to me it sounds like she just really does not care to get the help she needs especially if it has already been years.  I do wish you the best of luck though. 

CafeMom Tickers
432mommy
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:12 AM

 I personally wouldn't just because you need to set boundaries with her.... If you drop your guard once she will expect you to do it every time, and when/if you don't the consequences get bigger and better.There is a book that is actually called "Boundaries" maybe you should read it. Addicts are manipulative, and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want... I know you love your mom, but you HAVE to do whats best for your child....

I'm sorry for the situation your in.

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