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we do not agree about how to bring up kids...ughh

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:17 AM
  • 17 Replies

ok so I guess I'm gonna vent. My dh and I are not on the same page about the yes and no's of what are kids can do or watch or listen to..So my dh put on some comedy show dvd on last night that is so not for kids and it was one with the puppets (vantriliquest) yeah i know i didn't spell that right) so he told my ss to come and watch it with him. I told him that it was not a show for a 10 yr old to be watching. he told me to shut the f*** up in front of my kids. I told him dont talk to me like that and not to be curse in front of the kids. the thing is the words just roll off his damn tounge like its no big deal. my parents never did that in front of me and my sisters, his family well lets see..his mom did not raise him.his grandma did and she only speaks spanish so she didn't even know what he was saying. he has been doing that since he was like 8. i told him that i dont like the kids listening to  rap music with cuss words in it. does he listen no. in the car that is the first thing he puts on. It gets to the point we are starting to fight in the car about it. I end up taking the radio off since it's one of those ones you can put the cover plate up. he starts cussing at me and i just give in so he can shut up. Last night we did not talk at all because of what he was letting my ss watch. I told my ss you better not repeat any of those words you heard. the thing is yesterday afternoon my dh smacked my ss for almost saying mother f*****. he said the mother part and caught himself. I told him that is why he is saying things like that because you are showing him all that. then you get after him but then you let him listen to it..hello..i told him that when my girls are in the car the music is not allowed i dont care what he says. They will also not allowed to watch shows or movies not for kids. my mil also lets my ss watch rated r movies all the time with them. no matter how many times i tell them not too...that is why my kids are not going to be spending the nights or weekends over there. they are only able to stay with my parents. and now i'm getting shit for that too..but i told him and them my kids are my responsibilty and I will not allow them to hear or watch something that is not for them. I told my dh he is not being a very good dad and omg the biggest fight ever happened. we still are not talking. am i being to over protective or do you agree with me?

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ang0708
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:22 AM

bump

Susan262
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:24 AM

Oh, I agree with you, but it is probably not going to do you any good.  You will probably fight the rest of your marraige about it. 

PAbbs09
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:30 AM

I will not say whether or not I agree with you, because it really wouldn't matter. What matters is that you and your DH get on the same page and understand how/why each of you feel that way and why it is important and what you are trying to achieve.

Sounds like a real lack of communication. You have you work cut out for you! Good luck! 

ang0708
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:32 AM

yeah i know..I'm so scared how this is going to be when my girls get older.

Quoting PAbbs09:

I will not say whether or not I agree with you, because it really wouldn't matter. What matters is that you and your DH get on the same page and understand how/why each of you feel that way and why it is important and what you are trying to achieve.

Sounds like a real lack of communication. You have you work cut out for you! Good luck! 


DanielleAllen
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:37 AM


Quoting PAbbs09:

I will not say whether or not I agree with you, because it really wouldn't matter. What matters is that you and your DH get on the same page and understand how/why each of you feel that way and why it is important and what you are trying to achieve.

Sounds like a real lack of communication. You have you work cut out for you! Good luck! 


I agree. You guys need to sit down and really figure out what you will and will not allow. This is really important. and it can't wait!

PAbbs09
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:17 AM

especially if you don't take steps to communicate. Have you given up already?

Quoting ang0708:

yeah i know..I'm so scared how this is going to be when my girls get older.

Quoting PAbbs09:

I will not say whether or not I agree with you, because it really wouldn't matter. What matters is that you and your DH get on the same page and understand how/why each of you feel that way and why it is important and what you are trying to achieve.

Sounds like a real lack of communication. You have you work cut out for you! Good luck! 

 


ang0708
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:53 AM

No i haven't gave up yet. I just at this point try to pick and choose my battles with him...

Quoting PAbbs09:

especially if you don't take steps to communicate. Have you given up already?

Quoting ang0708:

yeah i know..I'm so scared how this is going to be when my girls get older.

Quoting PAbbs09:

I will not say whether or not I agree with you, because it really wouldn't matter. What matters is that you and your DH get on the same page and understand how/why each of you feel that way and why it is important and what you are trying to achieve.

Sounds like a real lack of communication. You have you work cut out for you! Good luck! 

 



momto3infl
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:13 PM

I agree with you when it comes to things with the launguage.  But I have watched one comedian with the puppets not sure if it is the same one, but our oldest has seen it and there was no hard language I think all I heard was damn and hell-my kids know that if they hear any of those words (any cussing) they dont say it. 

   LOVE JOHN BARROWMAN "TORCHWOOD"

mitty18
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:22 PM

I don't know who your talking about but guessing its Jeff Dunham and his puppets (walter the old man, Peanut, The peppar on the stick, the redneck who drinks, and ETC.) We watch him, and my ttoddler loves peanut lol he laughs at him the whole time he is on although he doesn't understand it i think he just likes the way he looks and moves.
But back on topic.
You guys need to sit down and have a discussion. You don't need to do it in front of the kids because they are going to learn that they can get away with things if they just come to differnt parents, and its going to cause a lot of behavior problems and conflict. its just not good for them.
Sounds like you guys just don't have any communication, and that needs to be corrected before you can move foward in your parenitng and marriage.



LA8YBUG
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:22 PM

Did he do any of this before you were married?  If he did, is it really a surprise to you he is acting this way?  No offense, but it sounds like a total lack of respect for you and your feelings.  Parents need to get on the same page when it comes to raising the kids.  Good Luck!

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