Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

it hurts

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM
  • 26 Replies

 on aug 25th i had our beautiful baby girl and it was an awesome day. but the very next day my father in law was in a motorcycle accident. he fell asleep on his way home from work on his bike. he got back on his bike and went home not knowing the internally he was in bad shape. he died at home after having dinner. he is divorced from my mother in law so he was alone when he died. but had he gone to the hospital he would have lived to meet his brand new grand baby. he was only 58 years young. my husband and i are a wreck with all these emotions. our 2 year old keeps looking at his toys he got from grandpa and looking at us as if he is asking where is grandpa. we buried his dad this past Saturday. my husband is a totally different person now and we dont know how to deal with all of this.... any advice?

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MrsDuNn06
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 6:59 PM

 

wow nothing? im loving the support system. guess i should have posted about abortion! 

ballerinamom
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:02 PM

I am so sorry.... I wish that there were words of comfort but I think only time can give you that.. I dont know any good advice since I have never experienced this but... Take it day by day and lean on eachother.. And also enjoy that precious new baby.. Your Father in law wants you to. You are all in my prayers.

jenny198356
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:03 PM

 I am sorry for your loss, but the only thing I can think of is Counseling.

NEWMOMOF1
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:04 PM

I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. MY ADVICE WOULD BE JUST TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER AND TALK TO YOUR 2YR ABOUT HIS GRANDPAW AND GO TO A SUPPORT GROUP FOR HELP AND TO ABLE TO TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT LOSING A FAMILY MEMBER

Lauriemom
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:04 PM

Honey I am so sorry you are going thru this

August 23rd, 2008, my brother passed away.  A year later, the wounds are still healing.  It's just going to take some time to heal.  Offer your dh your love and support, but mainly time is what he needs now

HUGS

Laurie

desi_dylan_bri
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:04 PM

i'm sorry. hugs. i'll say some prayers for you and your family.

1stTimeMama2010
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:05 PM

I am so sorry and I wish there was more I could say to help you feel better. At least now your daughter has an extra set of eyes on her where ever she goes. He is her guardian angel now. I wouldn't be surprised if she "laughs with the air". I don't know if you believe babies see spirits but if you do, it might help with the pain. That even though she won't meet her grandpa in person she will still know him.

strawgirl
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:05 PM

You both need to talk with a counselor.  So sorry for your loss

Ms.Upinyourface
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:05 PM

Seek out grief counseling right away for your family to work together and individually through this time together.

Sudden accidental death is seriously difficult given there is no warning ahead of time. My mother died in February after a long recovery from stroke...it was a surprise for us as she had done remarkably well. Now, seven months later, it is still wet days or dry days...and the emotions that flair up for no apparent reason. Or for a reason...like finding the thought to tell the lost love one, or the bliss of forgetting until the hand is touching the phone.

It takes time and attention and it is helpful to all who are suffering this loss to spend time together and to share the love of that lost family member or friend. It is better to feel the feelings now then to cover them over, especially for the two year old who has very little to go on and will be filling in blanks no matter what due to this early age.

When we share the grief togther as family and friends over meals and in phone calls and with a minister or priest or rabbi together for the youngest to the oldest their is the awareness that not one of you are alone with this grief.

Secular grief counseling helps to draw out the unspoken so that grief does not pull us from one another, but helps us to move closer together with greater awareness.

The gift our parents leave us when they die, is that it is an opportunity for we who that person loved so much to help each other and rise to meet the future as they intended: in their legacy of love.

I am so sorry for your loss. ANd especailly for your two year old. I hope you will  tell your child that so many are sorry for his loss of this grandparent. Granddads love their grandchildren so much. It was a terrible accident.

mcsmom1
by Gold Member on Sep. 7, 2009 at 7:06 PM

That is so tragic!  I'm practically in tears for you.  You poor mama and your husband and your sweet boy...and your baby.  Wow.  I am so so sorry for your family.

I think your family needs to seek counseling.  You are postpartum and that is hard enough.  I would hate for this tragedy to tear your family apart during what should be such a happy time in your life.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)