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what would you do in this situation?

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:26 PM
  • 13 Replies

my husband is the jealous type, always has been. I just accepted it and moved on, it really didn't bother me that much.

then today I went to his myspace page and his ex-girlfriend is on there asking for newer pics of my kids.

then I look at his other ex girlfriends page (the one who he dated at the same time as me in the first month of our "first dates") and he's been talking to her for the last YEAR.

then I look at his OTHER girlfriends page and he's talking to her too...


now normally I would just say ok he's an adult and they aren't saying anything "more than just friendly chit-chat"

but it's the fact that he would have a HUGE problem with it if the situation was in reverse. and that he hid it from me.



WHAT DO YOU THINK???


headeraspergerwomanmetteksten-1.gif picture by rayzensun
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy2twoboyz22
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Tell him to delete them
I am a 22 year old christian,church-going,bible-believing married sahm who formula feeds,bottle props,uses cio method,spanks,loves to sing but not in public,loves sleeping,my mom is my best friend,very opinionated in my beliefs,pro-life no matter what,dont support the action of being gay or lesbian,holy ghost speaking in tongues believer thats who i am and it will never change!
cmb121906
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:30 PM

Uh oh. Usually in these types of situations, when you confront the man, they always have a way of turning it back around on you and making it your fault some how. Uhhhhh, confront him once about it and share your feelings. How would he like it if the shoe was on the other foot? Then go from there by the way he reacts to it.

 




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nemiller
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:32 PM

i wouldn't be very happy if my husband were being a hypocrite.  if something's okay for him, it's okay for you.  while i don't think this needs to be a fight, he needs to understand that just like he can be friends with females, you can be friends with males.  he needs to get the jealousy in check and stop trying to hide stuff (assuming he was actually hiding it rather than just not thinking to say anything).


 

rayzensun
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:32 PM

he did react just like that. saying things like I was ruining his day

Quoting cmb121906:

Uh oh. Usually in these types of situations, when you confront the man, they always have a way of turning it back around on you and making it your fault some how. Uhhhhh, confront him once about it and share your feelings. How would he like it if the shoe was on the other foot? Then go from there by the way he reacts to it.



headeraspergerwomanmetteksten-1.gif picture by rayzensun
CaneWife
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:34 PM

Wow.

I'd. Be. Pissed.

There's an old saying "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." And I think you need to acquaint him with this phrase.

Now, I won't say that it's right for him to be talking to his exes or not, but the fact that he's allowed and you're not is a big, fat problem, IMO. I would tell him that he either puts his jealousy under wraps or he realizes that he's being a hypocrite and deletes his exes from MS.

TheresaMomof9
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:35 PM

Don't be accusatory. Just suggest a "policy".

"Honey, let's make a policy that WE won't friend our past relationship people. That might get tricky and make US feel uncomfortable. I would not want to make YOU uncomfortable and I'm sure you wouldn't want ME to be uncomfortable either."  

rayzensun
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:39 PM


Quoting TheresaMomof9:

Don't be accusatory. Just suggest a "policy".

"Honey, let's make a policy that WE won't friend our past relationship people. That might get tricky and make US feel uncomfortable. I would not want to make YOU uncomfortable and I'm sure you wouldn't want ME to be uncomfortable either."  

he did say that he would do this and be fine with it...

(erase them)

but is that what any guy would say?


headeraspergerwomanmetteksten-1.gif picture by rayzensun
cmb121906
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:40 PM

Then I suggest a serious sit down talk. Tell him he either stops talking to them or he needs to stop hiding it from you and be more open about it. Don't let this slide b/c if you do, he is just going to think it's okay to continue being a hypocrite.

Quoting rayzensun:

he did react just like that. saying things like I was ruining his day

Quoting cmb121906:

Uh oh. Usually in these types of situations, when you confront the man, they always have a way of turning it back around on you and making it your fault some how. Uhhhhh, confront him once about it and share your feelings. How would he like it if the shoe was on the other foot? Then go from there by the way he reacts to it.



 




                            This is what your admission looks like behind closed doors!


                                                   A lifetime of abuse and lockdown




                                                              Click for more info!

MRS.KG85
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:44 PM

THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. TELL HIM THAT IT BOTHERS YOU AND IF HE DOES NOT CARE THEN YOU NEED TO DECIDE WHAT YOU R GOING TO DO. BUT JUST TALK TO HIM.

proud mommy 2 alexandra and kameron

shayla0224
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 10:48 PM

Hm my advice was gonna be to find some of your ex's and friend them and then when he sees it say..Oh well you have your ex's as friends so I thought it would be ok with you..........Play innocent...He will get the message but you have confronted him already..Did you point out the fact that he would take issue with this if it were you? You should say awe sweetie....I am sorry I ruined your day...Do you realize how many of mine you have ruined with your jealousy? Maybe we should have a no jealousy contract :)


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