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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Do other's parenting styles affect your friendships?

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Poll

Question: Has a friend's parenting style affected your friendship?

Options:

Yes

No

Other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 74

View Results

Like if you were against CIO and they were for it, would you still be friends with them? Or if they are on strict schedules and you just go with the flow? How about vaxing and non vaxing? Would you still let them watch your kids? What are your experiences with this- have any of your friendships suffered because of this?

I DO NOT want to turn this into a bashing post, everybodys got their own opinion. Just curious as to how it would affect your friendships.

I am a breastfeeding, pro-choice, vaccinating, Turbo Jamming,
disposable diaper using, cio sometimes, cat loving, dieting, married
and love my husband
Army wife and momwww.myspace.com/serioussifl  Check out my music!

by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 12:42 PM
Replies (21-30):
prego7386
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:28 PM

i have found myself able to cope with everyone for the most part unless they are pushing it on me. my SIL and i are a bit of  an issue sometimes...she's over protective imo.....poor girls are going to miss out on so much and once they hit college are going to freak and be in all sorts of trouble. I however am a lil free in my thinking and im sure its going to raise some issues later...but then again she is 43 and im 23 so different generations and religious convictions affect it i suppose

hhickey
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:30 PM

Once, and I didn't like the girl much anyway.  She went on and on about how I was an awful mother because my son wasn't breastfed.... UMMMM, my son was adopted and while I understand that adoptive moms can breastfeed, it wasn't an option for us due to some legal uncertianties and timing.  However, as a brand new parent she felt the need to tell me how I ruined my child's life because of it.

Now, on the flip side, I have a friend that I am very close to.  She does attachment parenting, homeschools, cloth diapers, etc, etc.  While I didn't make those choices for my children, her and I are totally fine.  I think because of the mutual respect for each other and our parenting choices, it's a give and take relationship where we are both learning from each other.

She is a stay at home mom, and I am the typical career mom.  And while our lives are very different, we both realize that we are just doing what we think is right for our OWN families and respect that. 

moonorchid84
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:36 PM

I had a friend who I was very close to. I was also very close to her 3 boys. We were good friends and did a lot of things together to the point where I helped her with her kids a lot. I wanted to. Where things started to get difficult was when I could see some definite favortism amongst her boys. She favored her youngest, let her middle son get away with murder cause she didn't want to hear him scream and the oldest got the short end of the stick. There was one incident where a bunch of people were over at her house and and out friend made bread pastries...the kids were supposed to be in bed but the middle one kept coming downstairs and she let him, she told him he couldn't have one, but he snuck one anyway and took a bite, so she let him have it. When he went back upstairs and the oldest saw it, he asked if he could have one and she said no. It drove me crazy. There were other incidences like that and along with her general personality we stopped talking altogether. 

adamjackie
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:37 PM

As long as they are not hurting the child then I don't care. One of my closest friends is a nonvaxer and I vax. We have almost completely oppisite parenting styles but are still close. What matters is that her children are happy and so are mine.


lovemymarine306
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:41 PM

yes.  i was becoming friends with a mom who didn't even try to discipline her son.  he was my dd's age and a terror.  he would hit other kids, do whatever he pleased, and ignore his mom.  she just sat there.  i cannot be friends with someone like that because i don't want my kids to be around her kids...ever.

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Lilypie

MAMALICIOUS9506
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:42 PM

My best friends style of parenting is very different to mine...she's very lenient and her daughter gets away with everything...but it's her kid and she'll have to deal with her consequences as I will have to deal with mine...we always support each other even if we don't agree and often ask each other insight in certain situations...our girls are have been best friends since they are in kinder...they are in 9thgrade now...it should not affect your friendship....jmo

scootermom
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:42 PM


Quoting Melo2828:

it would not affect my friendship with them,  I have my way to parents my kids they have there's. Actuallywe can help each other out, by giving helpful advice. maybe something they do works better then what your doing.

It all about respecting each other choices and not making the other person feel like there way is wrong. 


1stTimeMama2010
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:43 PM

I had this friend for like 12 years. Well when I got preggo her son was about 18 months or so. Well I told her that I plan on breastfeeding, erfing, cio, typical things most people would disagree on. Well she went on to make me feel bad for the way I was going to choose to take care of my son becuase she did the opposite of all those things. So I decided to formula feed so it would be easier to go to school...she then went on to call me every name in the book and tell me my son would grow up to hate me. Keep in mind she didn't breastfeed either. She carried her son EVERYWHERE so I was being mean by choosing to let him cio. Erfing was bad because he could "break his legs". It got to the point where I told her. My child my choice. Well she told me that I am the type of person that the state should take my kid and she hopes I miscarry. So at that point I was like okay well no more friendship here. She kept going for like another two days but once I ignored her enough she stopped. But yeah parenting styles ending one of my friendships...but honestly I don't need friends like that anyway.

BurgMom43
by on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:46 PM

I was just getting to know this mom in my Mom's group a few years back  when I realized we were TOTALLY different, which was fine, until she tried  to push her AP, breast feeding, non-vax, co-sleeping ways of parenting down my throat and always made a point to try and make me feel as if I was less of a mom b/c I did not do any of the things she did.

It didn't work.  I am open to meeting new people and if we are different - Fine - But when they start to take low blows  and act as if their way is the right way, then that is where I have to end it.

mistie900
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2009 at 1:48 PM

I put other because some things would bother me while others didn't. If they overly disiplined their kids then I wouldn't like it. I don't think I would let our kids play together if they were non vaxing UNTIL A CERTAIN AGE . I wouldn't mind them playing after all their shots or at least until the age of 1 when they have the first dose of most of their shots. (I would probably even let them still play together, I would just be overly cautious)

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