Needing a little support...UPDATE

Replies:

• 
• by
  • kimmykim
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:22 AM

•  Are you the only person in the nursery?  I don't think they can do that.  You have to have at least two people in nursery, since it's a safety factor for the kids.  If they won't call someone else in with you then I'd go in and talk to your bishop and tell him that if they don't put anyone else in that you need to be released.  Because it's too hard on you.  Just tell him the truth.

  ~Kim

  
  

  http://butmamaimhungry.blogspot.com/

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• by
  • sariqd
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:58 AM

• There are supposed to be TWO (at least!) people in there. And that's just based on the # of kids there!!!

  Talk to the Primary President because she's also over the nursery. Tell her you need help and need it now. She is responsible for getting someone to help you, even if it's somebody in the presidency. AND she is responsible for turning in names to the Bishopric.  ALSO, she can assign a parent of one of the nursery kids to help in there as well. (A rotating list so a parent only helps out one week.)  If she is not supportive or does not get somebody to at least substitute and help out, then go back to the Bishop and simply say, it's not acceptable. You've got an 11-month old, your husband is often absent due to work and it's just not okay.

  Now, about not getting to know any of the other women in the ward... talk with your RS president!!! Tell her you need good vt's, ask how the information about meetings is shared because you're so isolated in primary and you could really need the sisters.

  Sara

  http://sariqd.blogspot.com

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• by
  • MissKrystal
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 11:21 AM

• There are two of us "called" to nursery. The other woman that they have called works EVERY Sunday. The bishop and Primary president are both well aware of the situation. Our ward is the strangest I have ever been in. There aren't enough people for all the callings-there are no counselors in anything except the RS and bishopric. People flat out say I'm not going in there when asked (I have heard it!) There are a lot of kids and they are pretty unruly. Last week, the 2nd counselor in the bishopric said that he was going to come in second hour..and then nothing. And with all those kids I can't feasibly leave to find someone. We are out in the courtyard annex. I will try to talk to the RS pres though about the rest. Thanks ladies.
  

• 
• by
  • jwaren
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:08 PM

• My thoughts are have a sign to put up on the door saying something like this:

  Unfortunately, Nursery will not be held today do to not having the required supervision. Hopefully we will be able to meet next week. Sincerly, Your name.

  Hand it to the Primary president before church and let her know that you will be in Sunday School if they can find someone to help you. 

  Not only is this practice of not getting you any help not good for you, but it is unsafe for the children.The church requires 2 adults. If someone were to get hurt, you would not be able to go and get help without leaving them. Tell the primary president that all parents of nursery age children will have to rotate coming in and helping you or you will not be able to do it. Let her know that you are fine doing it as long as someone is there to assist. If your coteacher isn't there, then someone in teh presidency needs to fill in or find someone.
  

• 
• by
  • sariqd
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:36 PM

• Along with it not being safe, church rules require that the nursery leader gets a parent to take their kids potty. SOooo - you're not supposed to take the kids potty. The 2nd teacher is supposed to take the kid out & find the mom/dad thereby leaving one teacher alone in the room for only a couple of minutes.

  I normally dislike ultimatums but... that's probably what you're going to have to do.

  I am so SORRY you're having to deal with this. It bothers me that people are being so anti-calling & anti-helpful. Not cool.  See? This is why all of you lovely ladies need to move by me - cuz we're all so awesomely helpful & kind.

  Sara

  http://sariqd.blogspot.com

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• by
  • tyheamma
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:44 PM

• I agree with the other posts completely. I would look up the official church rules on nursery (I know there are supposed to be two adults in there every Sunday, for reasons mentioned above). I think I would take something published by the church to the bishop or primary president and include the fact that you are willing to take volunteers on a week by week basis (though they are supposed to either be fellow sisters or your husband; you aren't allowed to be in there alone with someone else's husband).

  If this doesn't work, I would ask to be released. This is unfair to ask of anyone. I wish I were in your tiny ward, because I would help you. Even though I don't have any real desire to be in nursery, if called (or even asked by non-leadership), I would help.
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • tyheamma
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 12:57 PM

• I found this at lds.org for you:

  "Children who are at least 18 months old but who are not yet 3 years old on 1 January may attend nursery at the discretion of their parents. At least two teachers should be called for each nursery class. If the teachers are not husband and wife, they should be the same gender. Both teachers should be in the class during the entire Primary time."

  It should also be in your nursery manual, or at least in the Primary manual. I would include this reference when talking to your leaders and if you write the letter for the door saying "No Nursery Today". IMHO, this takes the blame and/or fault away from you and goes back to the idea of following our inspired leaders.
  

  
  

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• by
  • julipickle2
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 1:32 PM

• If they don't have enough people willing to fill callings then they shouldn't even have nursery.  I know it seems harsh, but if no one is willing to help then they need to at least take their own child with them to SS/RS. 

  I like the idea of putting up a sign, maybe that will get the parents thinking that it would be better to rotate every 6 weeks or so than have their toddler with them all 3 hours every week!
  

• 
• by
  • MissKrystal
  on Nov. 6, 2009 at 2:35 PM

• Thanks for all the advice ladies. I hope that I have the courage to do what you have suggested. I like the idea, but can be chicken! (Certainly don't want to offend or make anyone mad!) I agree though..Thanks a lot.
  

• 
• by
  • Michelletheresa
  on Nov. 7, 2009 at 1:38 PM

• This happened to me many years ago, and I did stop going!  I had a helper but she walked out on me after 6 months saying that the Bishop told her the calling was for 6 months, and she did not even wait to be released, she just told me her 6 months were up!!  I had something like 15 - 20 kids a week,.  One Sunday I just sat on the floor and cried.  One of the moms came to drop off her kids and saw me crying and left with her kids.  She didn't offer any help.  I let the kids do whatever they wanted.  I could not take it anymore and that was my last Sunday. 

  Well I guess they got the message because after about a month of not going and figuring that everyone hated me, the Primary President showed up at my door with a bouquet of flowers, and thanked me for doing such a great job and an apology for not getting me help!  She said that they had new people in the Nursery and would I please come back to church.  She gave me the dignity to hold my head up and go back. but this time I was in RS!!  I'll never forget that experience and how sweet the Primary Pres was to me.
  

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