You Might Be A Police Wife If...
You say at least a hundred times a day: "Shut Up Your Dad Is Sleeping!!!!"
You have bullets and handcuffs sitting on your bathroom counter along with a fingerprint ink pad.
You've ever used the phrase "Can you please move your gun, I have no room for my stuff on the dresser!"
You can reassemble a Kevlar vest faster than you can make a sandwich
You've ever washed someone else's blood out of your DH's clothes and not asked questions
Your laundry consists of 50 pairs of black socks and 30 black t-shirts
His calls to you from work end with, hang on a minute, babe.......silence...click
You've ever run screaming down the street (mostly) in your robe because he's forgotten his gun
You've ever bought him an after-work beer while everyone else is buying breakfast
You've had to remind him to check his bag for spare bullets before going through airport security
You automatically choose to sit with your back to the door in a restaurant
You've reminded him on more than one occasion that his personal car does not have lights and sirens
You start standing like a cop when you're waiting around for something
You start identifying perps when you're in public
if you've found bullets in the washer and dryer.
You're having an argument and it turns into an investigation of him asking the same question but in different words to see if you say something different.
You have given up on planning dinner/breakfast/anything because more than likely he will be late.
Your children have a fleet of toy cruisers and sing "Bad Boys" while they play with them.
You are far too familiar with the stench of sweaty Kevlar.
Your husband speaks in code (then I went to an 83...)
You celebrate holidays on the "wrong" day or at strange times.
You hang out on Cafe Mom's because your other friends just don't get it.
You're riding around with him off duty and he sees a car with one headlight, he reaches for his lights and begins to do a U-turn until he realizes he's in his personal car.
You go to give him a hug, he grabs your wrist, flings it behind your back and tells you to spread 'em.
You have to make sure that every shirt you buy for DH is long enough to cover his weapon off duty.
You suddenly find yourself in a headlock in the middle of your sleep because your DH is having a dream that he's taking down a suspect.
Your best friends are women from all across the nation whom you've never met in person, only over the internet on a website for wives of FLPD officers.
You have handcuffs hanging on your headboard and it's not for fun.
Your DH pulls out the pazz before he lets anyone leave your house to drive home after a party.
Your kid rides his bike around the neighborhood with a pen and tablet, writing down the plate 's of all the expired tabs so daddy can cite them.
You have a dog that you can never leave alone with the children, because a running child is a lot like a fleeing suspect and he wants to take them down.
You sleep alone, every other Mon., Tues.,etc....
You see someone acting like an ass and you know if it gets out of control your DH can so take him!