What's the solution?
How do you raise your male children?
first off I don't circumcize my sons, I believe it is brutal act to imprint on their subconsious, that makes them on some level have trust issues. I also believe to do circumcision is to be not fully connected with the emotions and the experience of the baby, I believe the disconnection mentality is necessarily to be an abusive culture, not to say that those that don't circumcise are necessarily better parents or have better cultures than those that do, but to have it accepted and allowed as something okay to put a baby through is a sign of being "caulloused or toughened up so to speak" not to see the brutality in this act.
I then raise my boys vegan, because I believe that distancing/disconnecting from sentient life is at foundation the mentality necessary to distant from so called "other" be it based on sex or nationality or ethnic or color. I believe if they were raised where its not okay to exploit or abuse animals then it wouldn't be okay to apply such thinking to women (or anyone different from them) they would recognize as alice walker said, that animals don't exist for people, just like blacks don't exist for whites, or women for men. They all exist in their own right and have their own interests and needs for self determination that is unique to their instincts and deserver respect for their diversity of pursuit of happiness.
I also teach them that everyones freedom is to be respected but as Oliver Wendall Homes said "my freedome to swing my fist ends at your nose" I don't have the right to physically violate another persons body's or rights.
I raise my boys also to love their bodies and minds and appeciate humanity and the planet. and to integrated into family life, and see me breastfeed babies and look out and appreciate all members of their family, to learn domesitic duties, such as cooking and cleaning, and anything pertaining to home, and also how to research and pursue their personal interests, and have freedom themselvs.
I also share with them about our culture and what is considered respectful and also "chiverous" such as opening doors for others. and thinking about using their strength and mind to help others and themselves.
I do my best to reconnect with them and be respectful to their feelings and communicate unconditional love and acceptance of them, and encouraging guidance and peace about their learning processess, I wish i was better at that, but I'm regularly improving.
and another thing that is important in my parenting and raising of them, is communication skills and learning how to listen reflectively, (save their rebuttals and responses until after the person feels heard by them reflecting back what they hear) and to give validation (regardless of whetehr or not they agree with another person) and empathy to want others feel and need. and to speak for what is on their mind and heart. and to feel very safe sharing these things and being themselves.
Allowing them to engage in pretend play or whatever they wish, and to feel free to explore whatever aspects of themselves and how they wish to dress, and express creatively
I'm raising my boy hopefully to be a "real man" - meaning he doesn't use violence or intimidation to get what he wants. It's an uphill battle with the media and culture the way it is, but one worth "fighting" for.
Connect with CafeMom:
Switch to Mobile Site
Getting Started Guide
Frequently Asked Questions
Part of the CafeMom family
© 2014 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.