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Scare tactics...need advice

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:37 PM
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My twins are almost 7 months old and have not received any vaccinations, including the Vit K shot at birth.  The older my girls get, the more my mom keeps making comments about why I should get them vaxed.  For example today, she brought up the fact that we are going to be traveling alot this summer, including going to a family reunion, a 2 week trip (staying in hotels) and then finally moving 30 hours away to California.  She said since they're crawling and touching more things that I need to be worried when staying in all these hotels. 

Now she has me scared.  I am tempted to tell her we vaxed them just to get her off my case but I am not good at lying to my mother.  Any advice on what I can tell her?  She also brought up that  illnesses are making a comeback because more and more parents are not vaxing. 

by on May. 26, 2010 at 8:37 PM
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nessy1980
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:14 PM

 My baby is a year old and hes only had the vit k vaccine or at least I think he had. I wouldnt listen to your doctor. If a doctor is ok for you not vaccinating they will be flamed by the medical community. My baby is 1 and hes perfectly healthy, at 4 months we took him to San Diego and he went to the beach and he was fine. Hes been sick once and it was some mystery illness. Vaccines dont work anyway. My oldest has been vaccinated against ear aches and yet he always got them, you remember the swine flu, everyone telling everyone omg we are going to die without the vaccine, well my family didnt get the swine flu vaccine or the swine flu. Tell your pediatrician the discussion on vaccines is closed and you are not going to talk about it or if you want to debate with her tell her since when putting poison into your child is a healthy thing? Tell her you will not put aborted fetus' into my child because that is nasty. You can always give a vaccine but you cant take it back.  Shes using scare tactics on you, the things they vaccinate arent coming back. Whooping cough has always been around, so has the rota virus and chicken pox. Everything there is a vaccine for can be treated.

armywife27
by Member on May. 26, 2010 at 9:18 PM


Quoting nessy1980:

 My baby is a year old and hes only had the vit k vaccine or at least I think he had. I wouldnt listen to your doctor. If a doctor is ok for you not vaccinating they will be flamed by the medical community. My baby is 1 and hes perfectly healthy, at 4 months we took him to San Diego and he was fine. Hes been sick once and it was some mystery illness. Vaccines dont work anyway. My oldest has been vaccinated against ear aches and yet he always got them, you remember the swine flu, everyone telling everyone omg we are going to die without the vaccine, well my family didnt get the swine flu. Tell your pediatrician the discussion on vaccines is closed and you are not going to talk about it or if you want to debate with her tell her since when putting poison into your child is a healthy thing? Tell I will not put aborted fetus' into my child because that is nasty. You can always give a vaccine but you cant take it back.

Thank you.  It's not the dr giving me a hard time, it's my mother!  Being military the girls see a different dr nearly everytime we go and none of them have given me a hard time.   The dr we saw at their 6 mo check up actually asked us why we don't vaccinate and told me he was onlya asking because he is ignorant when it comes to reasons not to vaccinate...made me chuckle.

Michelle451
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:24 PM

i don't know any "facts" to tell you, but my twins are 13 months old and have 2 runny noses that went away after a day or two after giving them some elderberry syrup. we also travelled last month to texas and stayed in a hotel for a week. no one got sick. we go out every day- including during cold and flu season, and none of my kids got sick.

my oldest child i vaxed up until 18 months. as soon as she stopped nursing (at about 12 months) she got sick with a double ear infection and a nasty cold. for the next year she had several colds, ear infections,  and got croup. she has not been sick once since i stopped vaxing her and she is almost 4 now. and like i said, the twins have not been sick at all.

ahappymommy
by Member on May. 26, 2010 at 9:29 PM

Tell her it's your decision as your children's mother not to vaccinate them, you really don't have to tell her anything, its your choice not theirs. My son is fully vaccinated and if we get another child someday that child won't be vaccinated at all. My mom supports my ant-vax stance, she is all for not vaccinating!

Neaner
by Member on May. 27, 2010 at 9:11 AM
I'd say, "Would you stop wishing illness and viruses on my children, your grand children!? I've made my decision on research I've done to the best of my ability! and you as a mother, your job is to love me and my children! Which means hoping for happiness and health!!" and then I'd give her research to read, and say if she really wanted to help she could load my cupboards and fridges with yummy organics, to boost my kids systems!! but all this is things I'd say haha but it is really a matter of knowing your making the best choice you can with what you have and holding your head high! and speaking up to your mother or anyone who's bullying you on any subject! just because it's your mother and the topic is vaccinations, doesn't mean you have to put up with it! She might not agree with you, but she needs to have her own research done!
SoniaL
by on May. 27, 2010 at 9:25 AM

Definitely tell her that you will not be changing your mind on this and all she is doing is making you want to stay away from her (and therefore keep her grandkids away from her as well).

And maybe it will help you feel better about it all if you just think about the fact that while, yes, there are germs out there, the world is not coated with Measles and Whooping cough. And taking a vacation does NOT make you more likely to get rubella. :)

rabbit4
by Member on May. 27, 2010 at 9:32 AM

my advice is this:  turn the fear back on her.  what i mean is that the reason she thinks you need to vax is because she is buying into the fear mongering.  she is afraid of what could happen if they get an illness.  so show her the other side.  show her all the horror stories of vaccine injured children so she sees that getting the shots could also hurt them.  find pictures and stories of actual children so she can put a face to it.  i hate fear mongering but i think we have to do it sometimes to make people see.  that's why they believe in the vaccine program in the first place so you wouldn't be doing anything different.  show her the "safety studies" and how they don't prove anything, show her the VAERS chart with all the reported reactions (that only represent 1-10% of the actual cases) and show her what could happen if there was a reaction.  and show her the thousands upon thousands of parents out there that tell the same story of their perfect baby regressing after a shot.  after she sees the danger, then you can show her that the illnesses your children could get are not all that scary and deadly.  and then show her how you can let them build a strong immune system naturally so they can be protected.  i recommend sherri tenpenny books and videos.  she's a medical doctor and uses CDC documents to back up her facts so it's not just theory or "conspiracy theory."  it's a huge task but she loves your babies and she will see that you are trying to protect them.  go get a book or a video and give it to her.  and tell her that if she wants to discuss it or make comments, she has to do the research that you have done.  until then, she needs to keep it to herself.  if she comes around, great.  you'll have support from your mom.  if she doesn't, you'll have to agree to disagree but at least she'll see where you're coming from.

h_minkus
by Member on May. 27, 2010 at 10:02 AM

I would tell her that the vaccines that are available won't protect them from normal stuff they will crawl around and touch.... The chances of catching Measles, mumps, rubella, chicken pox, polio, etc aren't going to increase just by traveling WITHIN the US. You could also tell her that vaccines aren't 100% effective, and you have decided (after thorough research) that the risks outweigh the benefits. Good luck, I know this is such a tough one. I am so firm in all of our parenting decision that our families have learned not to bring it up. lol

MSOmom
by Member on May. 27, 2010 at 12:07 PM

You will probably never change her mind.  Keep in mind that she's likely got her grandchildren's best interests at heart, and has not educated herself about vaccines.

Having said that, you do have the right to get her "off your back" so to speak.  My standard line is, "I am not accountable to you.  I will not argue with you.  Please do not badger me."  You could add that the decision has been made by you, the parents, and she needs to respect that.  Then change the subject.

CMHmommy
by Member on May. 27, 2010 at 12:34 PM

Stay strong mama! (By the way your girls are STINKIN" CUTE!) Just remember to wash thier hands before you eat or just periodically during the day (especially while flying)... but most things they would pick up at a hotel or on an airplane would be the common cold or flu. My kids are not vaxed with the exception of DaTP for my oldest (that was a major disaster) and we have flown with them 4 times to different states and they do all the things kids normally do including picking up food off the floor (UGH!) before I can get to them lol. My younger son was 6 months the first time we flew and it was during the begining of the swine flu scare. That was a little intense. Just review your research of why you choose not to vax and enjoy your vacation with your beautiful babies!

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