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SOOOO Sad - Need a "safe place" to vent

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:38 PM
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I have 2 boys - almost 3 & 9 months. About 3 years ago, I began researching vaccines because I knew I was having a baby boy and I had heard that boys are more likely to be autistic. I wanted to see if there was anything to the claim of vaxs causing autism. I found SO much more! Everything I read & heard made it clearer & clearer to me that my children would NEVER be vaccinated! From the ingredients, to the potential side-effects, all the way down to the pushing of the vaxs for profit! It all made (and still makes) me quite sick! My husband & I have a great support system that supports our decision. All along the way, I shared all my findings with my sister. That's what sisters do! She had no children...in fact, she wasn't even married at the time.

Now, my sister & her husband have a 10 week old baby boy. Before he was born, my sister told me that she was on the fence about vaxs & hadn't decided. Then when he was born, they gave him the Hep-B. The reasoning was because my brother-in-law works for the city's waste treatment plant and is exposed to all sorts of scary things & he can bring those things home. In fact, I guess it was recommended that my sister also have this vax. Even though he had this vax, my sister told me that she was still undecided. In an attempt to give her as much information as I could, I purchased the Dr. Tenpenny DVD (that I had watched for free on you tube 3 years ago)...that sucker wasn't cheap!

Well, Thursday he went for his 2 month well baby visit and they had him vaccinated. They never watched the DVD I bought! And, now my brother-in-law is posting crap all over facebook about the safety & effectiveness of vaccines. The articles he posts are either from the fda or the cdc, so I know they're all tainted. He says that he studied a lot about vaccines in college & has even made his own vaccines on the farm (he use to be a dairy farmer). Everything in his life is based on cows. (He compared my sister's entire pregnancy to a cow's).  I'm just so sad! The part that makes me the saddest is that I don't think this was my sister's decision. I'm pretty sure that her husband made this decision & she's had no say in it. I don't know this for sure because she hasn't talked to me about it. If they had truly educated themselves on both sides, I could tolerate their choice a little more. But having my bil say that anti-vax studies are a bunch of propaganda & lies just pushes me to the edge.

I've said a little, but for my family's sake, I'm trying to keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure he's trying to bait me into an argument in an attempt to drive a wedge between my sister & I. I just needed to vent this to someone! I'm so frustrated and just sad! Thanks for "listenin" to me vent.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Terri441
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:14 PM
Aw I'm sorry. That sucks. You're VERY smart not to take the bait for a fight with your BIL. Maybe sometime you and your sister can talk together again about it non confrontationally.
Sorry. That'd really make me sad too :(
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emma0828
by Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:29 PM

That really sucks, I'm sorry. That's kind of how my brother was for a while. I realized partly it was my fault because I came on pretty strong and ready to fight the issue of vaxxin bc my family is pretty much go with the mainstream and I knew it would be an issue...but no wI just don't talk about it. My bro has made comments over time and been rude about the vaxxing argument behind my back, but I just blow it off. :-P It's just not worth it. I hope you and your sister are able to remain close, or as close as you are. It does seem wise to keep "quiet" unless there's a major issue-like the daddy saying something in front of people or calling you out, then standing up for your beliefs may be more appropraite than just caving to his ludicrous statements when he hasn't even researched fully. Hugs mama =-)

MamaCass
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:50 PM

I am in the same boat...only my brother and sister-in-law never did the research...they just go to their friend who is a doctor, a pediatric oncologist at that, he says they are all good.

*YACK*

whatever...I am at an "I don't care" place now.  I can care more about their children then they do...but it hurts.

mom2tristNChloe
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 1:00 AM

it is sad but no one knows wat its liek having a child that has a vax injury or autism. my mom in law supports us in not vaxing our son anymore and selectivly vaxing our daughter she does think that wen we do vax were doing it to late but we want her developmentally perfect (wen shes 3 years old) then get those shots if we even decide to get them. my mom in law worries botu us vaxing her and not vaxing her now for my bro in law he thinks they r perfectly safe and is having his kid (5 years old) getting all of his shots till hes old enough to decide for himself.

honestly thanks to you all and reading tons of books and reseraching i'm confident in not vaxing at all. but my hubby wants to but only ones that are extremly important (hes gonna reserach before she gets vaxed)

antivaccinemom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2010 at 8:48 AM

I'm so sorry! I know your main concern is the baby but when someone doesn't even give you the respect to even "look" into how you see things, it's frustrating and hurtful to say the least! I agree in meeting with your sister alone and asking her how she feels. I would make the case they can always give them later if that's what they decide but really to NOT even look into the other side first makes me so aggravated. I've been in your position many times. I offer adivce, buy every pregnant woman I know the latest Neil Z. Miller book, tell them my personal testimony of what happened to my son, my journey into "non-vaccination" and pray for them to see the truth. It is ALL you can do, as people will make their own decisions...

happytexasCM
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2010 at 11:26 AM

What you could do is give her the Dr. Sears book and say that he has recommendations on how to support their immune systems before and after vaccination with vitamins and such. This way you are "supporting her choice" AND possibly getting her/them to open a book that discusses vaccination.

Charma
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 11:33 AM

So sorry! I am in the same type of situation as well. I said a little, but now keep my mouth shut to keep peace. I tried, but in the end, people will make their own decisions, whether they choose to research or not. Hang in there, and pray nothing happens to those kids!

Kenre
by Member on Jul. 13, 2010 at 2:49 PM

 When my sister was alive we would fight just about everyday about vaccines. It had become almost a game for us... but it doesn't sound that way for your sister and you. I'm sorry. Just respect her descisions and be prepared for if the child does get harmed by vaccines to not say, "I told you so."

I'd also ask for the movie back! That thing is expensive! I watched it on google-video and forced my DH to watch it with me back when I told him we're not vaccinating anymore (yes, I told him).

Don't fight with them about it. Just pretend you have no say in the matter. You wouldn't want her calling you up complaining about your children not being vaccinated, so do not complain to her about her child being vaccinated. It hurts because it is a family member, but we have to learn to step back and let them make their own descisions. Good luck.

charity987
by Member on Jul. 13, 2010 at 3:31 PM


Quoting happytexasCM:

What you could do is give her the Dr. Sears book and say that he has recommendations on how to support their immune systems before and after vaccination with vitamins and such. This way you are "supporting her choice" AND possibly getting her/them to open a book that discusses vaccination.

Thank you! That is an awesome idea!! I will look for this book & get it for her asap. :)

happytexasCM
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2010 at 4:57 PM


Quoting Kenre:

 I'd also ask for the movie back! That thing is expensive! I watched it on google-video and forced my DH to watch it with me back when I told him we're not vaccinating anymore (yes, I told him).

I'd ask for the video back too!

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