Never thought this would happen to me.,,

[jess227ny]

DH and I can't seem to stop fighting and I told him I want a divorce once and for all. I'm sick of living like this. One thing we have always agreed on is natural living including not vaccinating. He just pulled the you're an extremist card and I understand why people fight over vaccines in court because their kids cant get an education. Ds is in preschool his non vaccinating is a non issue and never has been. Wtf is he talking about? He's obviously going to try and use this against me some how. One of the reasons I want a divorce he lashes out of anger and tries to hurt you which I believe is verbal abuse.
Wtf do I do to protect myself and my kids?? I have a simple letter from a rabbi stating we don't vaccinate for religious reasons. Our pedi is an hour away because he's pro non vaccinating we just had a homebirth 3 months ago a main factor was Vito and hep b in nys.
What do I do ????

[Baby4us09]

 I am so sorry!  I dont know what to tell you.  You would think the etter from the Rabbi should be enough?  did your DH know before getting married about your views?  Maybe his family is feeding into him?  Wish you the best.

[jess227ny]

No our Oldest was vaccinated at the hospital. We made the choice together when he was a month old to delay until furthe research. I spent over a year researching and we decided it was a no brainer we didn't believe in vaxxing. Thankfully his family has no bearing on this with him. It's coming from a place of feeling lack of control so hes lashing out. I have witnesses that know he's been on board I guess. I've read stories like this and never ever thought it would be me. I just want to protect my children if this really becomes a battle.

Quoting Baby4us09:

 I am so sorry!  I dont know what to tell you.  You would think the etter from the Rabbi should be enough?  did your DH know before getting married about your views?  Maybe his family is feeding into him?  Wish you the best.

[catholicmamamia]

I'm sorry.. ((hugs)) 

[Caroline2010]

do u have anything that he has signed saying he doesnt believe in vaccines? u might be able to us that against him! im sorry for ur divorce! good luck!

[jess227ny]

Thanks :)

Quoting catholicmamamia:

I'm sorry.. ((hugs)) 

[jess227ny]

No. The only thing I have is going to our pedi for 3 years and basically never even talking about vaccines. I mean I know he said it out of anger but, it was a huge wake up call for me to make sure I have all my ducks in a row. I'm contemplating trying therapy again....we'll see. Thank you .

Quoting Caroline2010:

do u have anything that he has signed saying he doesnt believe in vaccines? u might be able to us that against him! im sorry for ur divorce! good luck!

[sweetangie79]

Stay strong Momma we are here for you.  Just a few typing strokes away.

[kitty8199]

Sorry. Hate youre going through this. Ive heard parents pull the vax thing at a time like this. I hope the therapy thing works.

[LiamsGoodMama]

 I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I'm praying that God gives you strength, helps you find a way to stay true to your beliefs and helps you to be the best mother you can for your children.

[rachelrothchild]

Well, if you both made the decision not to vaccinate together, he shouldn't be using that.  He probably is just saying it out of anger and frustration.  Me and my husband both do it.  Sometimes I'm worse than he is, but he has a hard time listening to me.  I always apologize when I do say something out of line and tell him I only said it because I was upset.  You could ask him if he's really serious.  

I don't know what to say other than if you do get divorced and he makes this an issue, it's not always pretty.  I've heard of spouses doing stuff like this to hurt each other or get custody of the kids.  Depending what kind of judge you have, there's the possibility you may lose your kids temporarily or permanently because you don't vaccinate, if he/she decides you are being neglectful.  I absolutely HATE hearing that crap, but it does happen.

If you can, I'd try to work things out.  Counseling definitely.  Probably anger management for him if he's not too proud.  Is there any physical abuse?  Does he break things or threaten you or the kids?  Has anyone seen him be abusive towards you?  Those are other things that are helpful.  The bad thing about just verbal abuse is most women have no "proof" it happens.

My first husband got physically abusive and wouldn't get help, so we got divorced.  Thank God we didn't have any kids.  Good luck!