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Unprepared at doc visit

Posted by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 8:50 PM
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So, I decided at it was finally time to take my baby in for a well baby check up. She was born at home and only made one visit to a pediatrician for a newborn exam at 5 days old. That was over 4 months ago.  I picked a doctor off our insurance website and took her today. Needless to say, I was very anxious about it. The doctor was very nice, but pressed me on the vaccine issue. She asked what concerns I had specifically, what ingrediants, what side effects, what risks and I was so flustered that I couldnt't respond. I don't do well under pressure. She was telling me how there are many immigrants here (I live an hour south of NYC) and how they bring diseases. She told me that she herself immigrated from Russia and how she almost died from measles when she was 25. She also told me that it has nothing to do with the immune system. I should have just told her we were postponing, so I could feel her out and prepare myself for the next visit. My husband told me I failed epically and he's right. I feel stupid. There's so much to research. I've done enough reading to know I'm not vaccinating, but I can't spout off facts just yet. What's the best way to go about this? Bring in studies? Have statistics ready to go off the top of my head? Also, she told me that I could start solids at 5mo, feed them before breastmilk, and wean the baby by 12mo. I'm not doing any of those things. I think I just need a shot of confidence to hold my ground. Your advice or encouragement would be awesome. Thank you.

by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jellyphish
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 8:55 PM
5 moms liked this
First, you didn't fail. Did you give in and let her jab your baby with 50 needles knowing it was the wrong thing to do?
You don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. A simple "I'm not here to discuss this" is plenty sufficient.
Honestly, if she pushes any of those poor and unsupported decisions on you, and doesn't at least leave you alone when you say no, I'd look for another ped.
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themissheather
by Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:06 PM

Thank you. I absolutely didnt't give in. I was trying to go with a simple no, but she kept asking why. Maybe she wanted to discuss it with me, which I kind of understand. You're right, though, I don't have to explain myself to her if I don't want to. I guess I will go back in two months and see how it goes. There is a holistic doctor that is anti-vax friendly in my area, but I'd have to pay out of pocket for her so I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

Quoting jellyphish:

First, you didn't fail. Did you give in and let her jab your baby with 50 needles knowing it was the wrong thing to do?
You don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. A simple "I'm not here to discuss this" is plenty sufficient.
Honestly, if she pushes any of those poor and unsupported decisions on you, and doesn't at least leave you alone when you say no, I'd look for another ped.


MamaHome
by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:14 PM

You did not fail. Give yourself some credit for not immediately giving into the pressure. You held firm to your convictions....in my book that's a WIN. Tell your husband to stick his opinions where the sun don't shine. :)

Anyways.....I agree with PP, you don't need to justify your decision to anyone. I would kindly explain that you have considered her advisement, and have still decided not to vaccinate for personal reasons. If she continues to pressure you, I would switch doctors.

emmy526
by New Owner on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:15 PM

if you have no concerns about your baby's health, you can always delay the next visit til longer...if and when the dr feels the need to question your motives, simply say you are still educating yourself on the issue, or they are not right for your family, or  thanks for her concern, but it's a no go at this time...etc, etc...

Quoting themissheather:

Thank you. I absolutely didnt't give in. I was trying to go with a simple no, but she kept asking why. Maybe she wanted to discuss it with me, which I kind of understand. You're right, though, I don't have to explain myself to her if I don't want to. I guess I will go back in two months and see how it goes. There is a holistic doctor that is anti-vax friendly in my area, but I'd have to pay out of pocket for her so I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

Quoting jellyphish:

First, you didn't fail. Did you give in and let her jab your baby with 50 needles knowing it was the wrong thing to do?
You don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. A simple "I'm not here to discuss this" is plenty sufficient.
Honestly, if she pushes any of those poor and unsupported decisions on you, and doesn't at least leave you alone when you say no, I'd look for another ped.




Choosing Not to VaccinateChoosing Not to Vaccinate-proud group owner

emmy526
by New Owner on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:16 PM

oh, and what did  your husband say to back you up at the time this was happening?  Did he sit there saying nothing? or did he speak up for you and the family decision?

MamaHome
by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:17 PM

We pay out of pocket for a holistic doc. We only go once a year, and in my opinion its worth the money not to get hassled. :)

Quoting themissheather:

Thank you. I absolutely didnt't give in. I was trying to go with a simple no, but she kept asking why. Maybe she wanted to discuss it with me, which I kind of understand. You're right, though, I don't have to explain myself to her if I don't want to. I guess I will go back in two months and see how it goes. There is a holistic doctor that is anti-vax friendly in my area, but I'd have to pay out of pocket for her so I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

Quoting jellyphish:

First, you didn't fail. Did you give in and let her jab your baby with 50 needles knowing it was the wrong thing to do?
You don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. A simple "I'm not here to discuss this" is plenty sufficient.
Honestly, if she pushes any of those poor and unsupported decisions on you, and doesn't at least leave you alone when you say no, I'd look for another ped.



MamaHome
by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:17 PM

Exactly my thoughts. maybe next time he should be the family's advocate. :)

Quoting emmy526:

oh, and what did  your husband say to back you up at the time this was happening?  Did he sit there saying nothing? or did he speak up for you and the family decision?


jellyphish
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:30 PM
My ped is an nd also, I pay out of pocket and it's TOTALLY worth it. Not just because I don't get hassled, but also because I'm actually respected, as are my girls, and my ped turns to naturopathic medicine before pills, obviously, as needed.
If you go this route, make sure you are familiar with your state's laws as many states don't regulate nds. www.naturopathic.org has info on this as well as a directory of accredited nds.


Quoting MamaHome:

We pay out of pocket for a holistic doc. We only go once a year, and in my opinion its worth the money not to get hassled. :)


Quoting themissheather:

Thank you. I absolutely didnt't give in. I was trying to go with a simple no, but she kept asking why. Maybe she wanted to discuss it with me, which I kind of understand. You're right, though, I don't have to explain myself to her if I don't want to. I guess I will go back in two months and see how it goes. There is a holistic doctor that is anti-vax friendly in my area, but I'd have to pay out of pocket for her so I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

Quoting jellyphish:

First, you didn't fail. Did you give in and let her jab your baby with 50 needles knowing it was the wrong thing to do?

You don't need to justify your reasons to anyone. A simple "I'm not here to discuss this" is plenty sufficient.

Honestly, if she pushes any of those poor and unsupported decisions on you, and doesn't at least leave you alone when you say no, I'd look for another ped.



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snowangel1979
by Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 9:52 PM
If your not wanting to argue, you can pull the religious card.

If any of your PERSONAL religious beliefs go against vaxing you can use a religious exemption.

They are not allowed to ask you anything about your religion.
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themissheather
by Member on Aug. 27, 2012 at 10:10 PM

I reminded my husband he said nothing at that moment and he shut up quick. :-) Thank you for your support. I feel like this is a conversation that I'm going to have over and over again in the oncoming years, so I'd like to have a better answer than "um" ready to go. Shouldn't there be some give and take with the doctor? I'm going to have to talk to her about extended breastfeeding too it seems like.

Quoting MamaHome:

You did not fail. Give yourself some credit for not immediately giving into the pressure. You held firm to your convictions....in my book that's a WIN. Tell your husband to stick his opinions where the sun don't shine. :)

Anyways.....I agree with PP, you don't need to justify your decision to anyone. I would kindly explain that you have considered her advisement, and have still decided not to vaccinate for personal reasons. If she continues to pressure you, I would switch doctors.


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