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Anxiety/fear of choosing not to vaccinate

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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So first off I just want to say how thankful I am for this group, and for all the support and advice I've been given since joining. You all know first hand how hard it can be, making a decision like this... believing in this decision for your child with your whole heart, as well as the criticism that may follow for it. I'm still new to all of this. This is my first child & I'm still young myself, and though I do know that I'm making the right decision by choosing not to vaccinate, there is a certain degree of anxiety/fear of what I might face for my decision. This has to be normal. I've seen a post here and there about fear of the pediatrician and well baby check ups, I've experienced this. But more than anything, I fear for my child's well being now. I'm continually learning and edcuating myself on this lifestyle & the precautions I need to take with him and his health... yet I still worry. Big family get togethers & flu season, and needing to know how to best protect him. And then there's thinking about when my husband and I decide to have another child-- I worry about the hospital situation. Making sure they don't twice inject my child with the hep b before he or she is even one month like they did with my first. Like I said, I know that this anxiety/fear has to be normal being a first time mom going through this. We are the minority and I understand that. I understand that there is going to be judgement from others and even from our own families, and that does not sway the way I feel about it. I just want to know if that goes away, or what I can do to become more confident when it comes to facing others or my child's doctor... when they're telling me I'm wrong and a horrible mother. I'm not doubting my decision at all, I just wholeheartedly fear these situations. Anyone gone through this?

Thanks in advance ladies.

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:44 AM

your anxiety is natural! vaccinating parents often have anxiety with their decision too after they learn about the possible side effects of the shots. anxiety just comes with parenthood. there is no way around that, no matter what choices you make. my tot is almost two, but i remember when she was first born and the first couple pediatrician appointments were full of me being lectured about not having her get the vaccines. it is stressful and it will make you double-think your decision. 

what i found helped me the most is reading more and continuously solidifying my choice in not vaccinating. talk to like-minded parents and *avoid* vaccine proponents. that is unecessary stress and conflict. i learned that the hard way after a few too many arguments that led no where [they always go no where].

us ladies here think you are making the right choice, and you just need to remember that and remain confident. if your family or close friends start to get on your case, just tell them its your personal decision and you have your own valid reasons. and maybe you can educate them if they will listen.

as for family outings and the flu season, even vaccinated kids get sick, including so-called "vaccine-preventable diseases," so really it all matters about natural prevention. nutrition, sanitation, and common sense. getting sick is ok, and its good practice for the immune system. just remember not to use fever reducers and anti-biotics like crazy and your kid will benefit from a healthy immune system for a life time. :]

by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:52 AM
I think you become more confident as time goes on. Your child will get sick and you watch his little body fight it iff ,time and time again. Maybe he will even get something more 'serious' (our family had pertussis last summer) and your confidence grows.

And you will hear about people around you and how they deal with sickness. We tend to rarely go to the doctor and almost never get antibiotics. There has been an extremely nasty flu and cold going around this winter. People have been sic kfor a month at a time. Our family had it too! I was commenting to my husband that so many around us have been on antibiotics, and sometimes multiple ones, and have been sick just as long as we were. The antibiotics seemed to do nothing to shorten it. It just makes me more condfident in our medical decisions.
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by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:01 AM

It's completely normal, I constantly worry if I made the right decision, but just recently my oldest son is 2 years old, he gets sick all the time and has so many allergies and asthma on top of it all. Last night he broke out in hives and was having trouble breathing, I was so thankful I've never gotten him vaccinated, because if he is this allergic to things around him can you imagine what kind of reaction he would have if he was injected with all those ingredients in those vaccines? 

by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Like pp said, just keep educating yourself and your confidence will grow. I read new info almost every day about vaccines and drugs and it just makes me feel better and better about our decision not to vaccinate. 

by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

I felt that way for a while--especially when he was really little.  Now that DS is almost 3, I honestly have no worries.  I'm confident that if he does get something he has a strong immune system to fight it off.  I've done everything in my power to make sure that he does!  He nursed until a month ago, we eat lots of fruit (and what veggies he will eat), eat organic whenever possible, avoid GMOs, etc.  GL!

by New Owner on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:58 PM
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 I just want to know if that goes away, or what I can do to become more confident when it comes to facing others or my child's doctor.

As you child gets older, the feeling will go away.  And if you have a dr that is telling you that you are a horrible mother, it's time for a new dr who respects your decision as parent.   A good idea that has been brought about before is to keep a pamphlet in your purse- that one of the other moms made it, and is very informative for inquiring people.

by Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I went thru this, I panicked at around a year. Then I did a crapload more research and it backed up my decision not to spike my kid. She's 4.5 now and my ds is 15 months. Not a shot between them!

by Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:40 PM

You might look for a doctor that is fully supportive of your decision.  I think you can find a list of such doctors at NVIC and/or at the Autism Research Insititute (ARI).  A naturopath would most certainly be suppportive.  Family doctors are probably more suppportive than pediatricians.  Good luck!

by New Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:46 PM

My son has a very weak immune system so I worry about him being in school with no immunity to all the ickies.  He has SPD (probably due to a vaccine I had while preggo, or his newborn shots) and hardly eats anything.  It's so hard to keep him healthy!  But I refuse to give him any more shots, and his dr is in agreement with me. 

by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:06 AM

I had to brainwash myself with all the anti vax stuff for 2 weeks straig, and continually with new stuff, and I still read everything just to keep my convictions up. There are some good books too. Then there is getting comfortable with the religious exemption verbiage. After that and going through it a few time it becomes so much easier. I still have a fear of over-zealous healthcare workers over stepping their bounds, but that's why I whip out my legal religious exemption. They usually back far away after that because logic doesn't work in that argument.  Just stay with it as long as possible and it will become you.

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