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Do you second guess yourself?

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 9:21 AM
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I do, and I hate it. I am an intelligent person. I don't make any decisions without spending a lot of time thinking about it, researching, etc.

Why do I still doubt myself?!?

Last week, my son was ill. I never figured out what was wrong, I guess it was just a bug. On Saturday, my daughter started complaining of ear pain. Monday morning, she was worse.

I decided to take both of them to the urgent care clinic. oh gawd, that was stupid of me!

Well, when I got there, there was a misunderstanding about the fees. She told me $90 for both, she meant $90 for each. Well, my son is feeling better anyway and I don't have $180 to waste so I cancelled his appointment and of course, they looked at me like I was CRAZY and neglecting my child. Ugh.

Then of course they ask about vaxs. When I told her we don't vax, she sat there writing on our little sheet for EVER.

Then the doctor came in. She treated me like I was a moron, which I felt pretty dumb being there in the first place. Turns out that Libby does NOT have an ear infection, which I knew because I looked in her ear and could see that it was not red and there was no wax build up.

I forgot to look in her nose, which is stopped up and creating pressure in her ear. Why did I doubt myself? I knew she was not sick, I just did not trust my instincts.

I really need to STOP doing that!

Anyway, the doctor asked why I don't vaccinate. After her pushing the issue for a moment, I just kindly smiled and said, "I would really rather not talk about it, we are here about her ear, not to talk about vaccinations."

She dropped it for a moment, but then a few moments later, she asked me if I was a Christian.

NOW THAT I found to be COMPLETELY inappropriate. I don't know why, but it pissed me off! I have nothing against Christians, but I don't feel as though she had the right to ask me that. Besides, IF my belief is a religious conviction, then I obviously do not forego vaxes because of a lack of faith in vaccines, so she wouldn't be able to convince me otherwise.

Oh yeah, and the other thing that annoyed me is that she asked if my children have a history of ear infections. I said no. She said, oh, is it because she stays at home all the time?"

At the time I did not think about it, I just nodded yeah. I wanted to get out of there.

But now that I think about it....No! The reason my daughter hasn't had ear infections is because 1. she's healthy, 2. she doesn't go to daycare, 3. she was breastfed, 4. she eats a diet of mainly vegetables, whole foods and organics. 5. She doesn't eat a ton of sugar or any foods that trouble our immune system and 6. she has a mom who knows natural remedies and preventions!

GAH! Okay, so she doesn't go to daycare....she doesn't stay cooped up in our home all the time either. My daughter goes EVERYWHERE with me- to the mall, the hospital, the doctor's office, playgrounds, playdates, public buildings (I own my own business so I spend a lot of time at the county courthouse. Hello? Germ central).

Anyway, I wish I had stood up formyself and said that yesterday. I seriously want to write them a letter now, just to say "My experience was crap and you owe me $90."

Oh, and I'm never going back to a traditional doctor again, unless someone is dying.

K, that was mah vent. If you read all of this, I love you!


by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jellyphish
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:07 AM

File a complaint about harassment, be sure to include that she interrogated you about your religious beliefs, that's completely illegal.

Kellinna
by Member on Aug. 25, 2009 at 10:17 AM

Wow what an annoying doctors visit, it's terrible that you were seeking help and got treated like a criminal. I can't blame you though for the second guessing. My son had what seemed to be a little bug for a long time, and when his side started to hurt I figured I better take him in, and sure enough he had pneumonia, then I felt terrible for waiting so long. You just never know with these little ones...

cristinaberger
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 11:31 AM

I think that it's our responsibility as moms to make sure that our children are healthy and we need to find that out through whatever means necessary. I am sure that if the doctor would have not treated you like that or if there would have been something wrong with your baby then you would not be writing this post.

You did the right thing by going to the doctor and yes she was an idiot so all you can do in situations like this is to either ignore the doctor while there or be prepared to answer ironically to all of her imbecilities.Of course, diplomacy can go a long way, so try that first.

I also noticed that doctors use the vaccine discussion to distract you from the real reason why you are there and then you as a parent will end up leaving the office with a prescription and very little information about what is happening to your child.

That is why before I take my children anywhere (regular doctor or naturopath) I make a list of questions and I am not leaving until I receive the service I paid for. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor "I am not done with you" when you see that she is with her hand on the doorknob. What's the worse that can happen?


kk_bella
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 10:46 AM


Quoting jellyphish:

File a complaint about harassment, be sure to include that she interrogated you about your religious beliefs, that's completely illegal.

Is it really? I did not know that. Now that I know, I will definitely do that. THank you.

EasyGoinMama
by Member on Aug. 26, 2009 at 10:58 AM

 Yeah, I doubt myself at times. And I know I shouldn't. Like you, I am educated, and if there is something I am unsure about, I research it. All decisions made about my family and their well-being have been educated decisions.

Last year I had to fill out a form for the school (actually the state) saying my reasons for not vaxing. I read all through it and at the bottom in big black bold letters it says something to tthe effect that by signing this waiver, I am knowingly putting my child and everyone else's child at risk by not vaxing. I don't know why, but I instantly felt insecure about my choice not to vax. That totally pissed me off. I know why I don't vax. It was only a moment that I felt unsure about the choice I made, but it was an annoying moment.

 why not have parents who do vax fill out a form stating that they are putting their own children at risk by vaxing? LoL

                             ♥ Alyssa ♥  


                                                 


 

kk_bella
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 11:06 AM


Quoting cristinaberger:

I think that it's our responsibility as moms to make sure that our children are healthy and we need to find that out through whatever means necessary. I am sure that if the doctor would have not treated you like that or if there would have been something wrong with your baby then you would not be writing this post.

You did the right thing by going to the doctor and yes she was an idiot so all you can do in situations like this is to either ignore the doctor while there or be prepared to answer ironically to all of her imbecilities.Of course, diplomacy can go a long way, so try that first.

I also noticed that doctors use the vaccine discussion to distract you from the real reason why you are there and then you as a parent will end up leaving the office with a prescription and very little information about what is happening to your child.

That is why before I take my children anywhere (regular doctor or naturopath) I make a list of questions and I am not leaving until I receive the service I paid for. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor "I am not done with you" when you see that she is with her hand on the doorknob. What's the worse that can happen?


Great advice, not something I have ever done with a regular doc visit but I will from now on!

monkeyberry
by Member on Aug. 26, 2009 at 11:06 AM

I know what you mean about second guessing yourself...I do it all the time...and I went to nursing school!  I know what is going on with my kids, but we are so ingrained with the notion that only a "Dr" really knows everything.  I hate it!  However, since I started being a nonvaxing mom, I feel it even more.  My husband and I usually have a miniconference on what we think is going on and deal with it.  : )  But, yeah, I would have been totally pissed after that.  "Are you a Christian?"  What the F? Just because you are a doctor doesn't mean you necessarily know more than me, especially what is best for my child.   Like people have said on here before,  half of all doctors were in the bottom half of their class! 

kk_bella
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 11:08 AM


Quoting EasyGoinMama:

 Yeah, I doubt myself at times. And I know I shouldn't. Like you, I am educated, and if there is something I am unsure about, I research it. All decisions made about my family and their well-being have been educated decisions.

Last year I had to fill out a form for the school (actually the state) saying my reasons for not vaxing. I read all through it and at the bottom in big black bold letters it says something to tthe effect that by signing this waiver, I am knowingly putting my child and everyone else's child at risk by not vaxing. I don't know why, but I instantly felt insecure about my choice not to vax. That totally pissed me off. I know why I don't vax. It was only a moment that I felt unsure about the choice I made, but it was an annoying moment.

 why not have parents who do vax fill out a form stating that they are putting their own children at risk by vaxing? LoL

I am with you!

Is that form the exemption? Or something else? Do you have to sign it for them to go to school?

I don't think I would want to sign it simply because I don't think it's true.

Kimosabe
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 11:14 AM

Stop beating yourself up.


As far as I am concerned now, Dr's are nothing but overpaid drug pushers. Next time go to a Naturopath. It will cost the same and you will actually get useful info and a healthier child.


I never doubt myself for a minute. My daughter is so  healthy and active and smart and on to it we joke that we are going to start feeding her crap and vaccinate her just to get a break from her robustness.


The number 1 reason children have any health/development issues is because of vaccines. Plain and simple. Ear infections especially. Until the medical workers realize that, they can screw off with their practices, judgements and questions.

EasyGoinMama
by Member on Aug. 26, 2009 at 11:54 AM


Quoting kk_bella:


Quoting EasyGoinMama:

 Yeah, I doubt myself at times. And I know I shouldn't. Like you, I am educated, and if there is something I am unsure about, I research it. All decisions made about my family and their well-being have been educated decisions.

Last year I had to fill out a form for the school (actually the state) saying my reasons for not vaxing. I read all through it and at the bottom in big black bold letters it says something to tthe effect that by signing this waiver, I am knowingly putting my child and everyone else's child at risk by not vaxing. I don't know why, but I instantly felt insecure about my choice not to vax. That totally pissed me off. I know why I don't vax. It was only a moment that I felt unsure about the choice I made, but it was an annoying moment.

 why not have parents who do vax fill out a form stating that they are putting their own children at risk by vaxing? LoL

I am with you!

Is that form the exemption? Or something else? Do you have to sign it for them to go to school?

I don't think I would want to sign it simply because I don't think it's true.

Yeah, I had to sign it for them to go to school. I didn't want to. But in our state they can't attend school without it.

                             ♥ Alyssa ♥  


                                                 


 

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