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OMG!!!!!! someone please help me!!!!

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 12:51 AM
  • 16 Replies
ok...I don't mean to offend anyone...but I have always been the type of person who rolls their eyes at the thought of online dating and whatnot..(I knew someone that brought home not one...but two pedofiles!!!  from online daing  so I'm VERY hesitant....well......this guy I have been casually talking to....is really turning out to be a great guy!!!  He is a single dad  who has all of his kids by himself...(all from the same mom)  his wife just up and walked out on them like 12 years ago and he has been raisning them alone ever since.  He has a stable life, is ex-military, a great job, very good looking, only 2 years older than me  and he and I have a LOT of common interests!!!  If he lived in the same state as me he would be perfect!!!!  I would totally trust him to be around my daughter, and could really get to like this guy...but he lives halfway accross the country!!!!  He wants to come out here and meet me in person.....he is very  sweet and kind!!!   I would LOVE to meet him...but I'm afraid that if we did hit it off...then what???  He still lives far away!!!!  And what if he does come out here and is disappointed by me????   I hate to sound whiney or anything....but I really am tired of all the b.s. from the losers  I've had in the past.  I really want to find a REAL man that will treat me AND my daughter great!!!  I want someone that supports me and encourages me...he does!!!  he asks about my classes ...he remembers when I have tests and asks how they went...He says he is very impressed with all the groups I am in at school and the work I do with them.  He is always telling me how great he thinks I am......Man it has been so long since a guy has really genuinely complimented me and it wasn't about how great my @$$ or boobs were!!!  Someone help me out here.....I talk to him almost every night.  should I just pull away from this guy or what???  I've never done a long distance thing before...I'm not sure what to do here!!!????!?!?!

~Adrienne & Ava


by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 12:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
shaun1619
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 1:02 AM
Im not sure how long this has been going on, or how far away he lives  but if its new continue to talk online. everyone looks good on paper. I have a friend who is all about online dating...she claims to have found mr.right, she has gone to see him 4 times already. and i have to say things look good, however she does not have any children. always consider them and how this will out for ALL of you not just the TWO of YOU
ruthie11617
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 1:06 AM
Take it slow! Very, very slow!

My marriage is a product of online dating and while I know they don't all end up this way, my marriage is a mess right now. It's very easy to feel very close very soon in online relationships because you tend to share A LOT with each other that you wouldn't necessarily share so soon in person. It can create a false sense of intimacy. So just relax, take it slow, and let it go where it will go. If he wants to meet and you're comfortable with it, go ahead but take your time. I can't say it enough. :)

  

   Reuben Benjamin, a.k.a. Munchkin

dstarr347
by Member on Sep. 28, 2007 at 1:12 AM

Just take it slow and see where it leads. If you guys don't hit it off romantically when you meet at the very least you could still have friend at the end. Lord knows that when you are a single parent those are so hard to find.He seems like a nice and responsible man from what you describe  and after all the jerks you said you met over the years your instincts should be well primed to spot a bullshitter or perv. I would suggest that you guys meet somewhere neutral just to be on the safe side. Like a park or restaurant .Pray first and see where the Lord leads.Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

Alliem
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 1:13 AM
Earlier this year, before I got pregnant, I was dating a guy in Vegas (I live near Chicago).  We're obviously not together anymore, but he was a really good guy.  It was fun while it lasted.  The distance was just too much and neither of us could afford to move.  But I say go ahead and do what your heart and gut tell you to.  Always follow your gut with this type of thing.  Hardly ever does it steer you wrong. :)

tinkerbellava
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 1:29 AM
Thank you all....I have been talking to him for a couple months now......we are both in similar situations right now......I'm not neccessarily talking about anything serious with him......and I definately would meet him in a public place!!!!  I'm just not sure about this whole online thing you know...he gave me his number a couple weeks ago....I haven't called him yet...but I have been thinking about it....I guess with what I have seen come out of an online relationship and all  I'm having a hard time with this.....I don't want to just write him off because of that but also I feel kinda akward about it because I have spent so many years laughing at the concept you know!!!???  again I mean no disrespect to those who have done this....I refer to girl I mentioned earlier that kept finding sickos!!!  I'm just not sure how a non-sicko online dating thing works....Thank you again for all the advice!!!

OH!!!  and I forgot to mention.....he's a single father to ............4 kids!!!

~Adrienne & Ava


Carol1967
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 2:13 AM
It doesn't really sound like you need any help. It all sounds great with the exception of the distance. So why don't you meet him in person and see if you actually connect in person because meeting someone can be different than talking or chatting, you know? And then if you still click and think it could be more, simply ASK him if he would ever be willing to move in the future! Or...are YOU willing to move in the future? In the meantime relax and enjoy him!!!


=)
ShireeCS
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 2:32 AM

When I was reading your post I thought of myself.  I have been talking to a guy Ive meet online for over 6 months.  He lives in CA and I live in NM.  He doesnt have any kids but was engaged to a girl that had a daughter.  He is my cheerleader, he reminds me that I can suceed in school when others doubt me.  He asks me for advice about various things and even offered to pay for me to go to NY with him for a weekend.  We have been trying to make plans to meet but I am afraid to go meet him because you never know what you are going to get.  So Good luck to you.
imaniandevsmom
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 4:11 PM
Do a background check! It is well worth the money.

KNOW NO MAN BY THEIR FLESH, BUT BY THEIR SPIRIT, for the flesh will deceive you but the spirit will lead you!
bethmoore71
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 5:52 PM
I have great experience with dating online (local guys on yahoo personals), but never with someone not close by. If you are thinking that he may be someone that you would like to be in a commited relationship, then you need to decide if you are willing to move your family to be close to him (or vice versa of course). If you are not at the point yet, just have fun and relax until you are at that point. Either way, life is way too short. Enjoy it while you have it, I say.
Trinasmom
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 7:43 PM
I have been doing the online dating thing for a while as well. Most of the time I talk to men who are close to where I live but I actually started talking to a guy about three weeks ago from another state. We only live about 12 hours apart but is still the distance factor. We have just been talking and neither one of us is in a rush to move. I would suggest talking to him on the phone though. I have talked to men that I had a connection with online but when they called me, there was no connection (a lot of dead air). This guy calls me everyday and he is very sweet. But heed the advice of the other ladies, take it slow. Let me know how its going, would love to see if we are still talking to these men in a month or two.
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