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19. pregnant. scared.

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:09 AM
  • 15 Replies

im 19, almost 24 weeks pregnant, and i feel like im doing this on my own. im moving back home to be closer to my family, but i just wish the babys dad was more supportive. i keep telling myself im over him. he cheated on me yet i still want him and miss him. but then i want nothing to do with him at the same time. i dont know i just have a lot of thoughts going through my head and dont know what to do with them all. i ask myself if i can really be a good mom. and i know i can but then i doubt myself. im so scared for her to come. i feel like i cant ever be ready enough. no matter what i do. i couoldnt be more excited for her and shes already become my world, yet i constantly find myself crying. im kinda venting so sorry but any words of wisdom would be greatly apriciated.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:09 AM
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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:14 AM

Deep breath! ... you will be just fine. Plan your life as if the childs father does not exist. It makes things much easier that way ... If he comes around once the child is born, great ... if not, then you have your plans set. Pregnancy hormones can be tough to deal with ... especially if you are going through a such a stressful time. Ask for help ... and moving close to family was a great idea.

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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:18 AM

I agree with PP. Count on yourself and you will be fine! It's scary and hard but we as mothers find a way to manage sure you will be a great mom!

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:29 AM

I agree with the 2 above me.....It's going to be OK....... 

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:32 AM

You obviously want the best for your baby so you will be a good mom.  Just do the best that you can. Babies dont care if they have wal-mart brand stuff. As far as the dad goes. Dont listen to your heart. isten to what you know is right for you and your baby.  People dont just up and change like that. If he cheated on you, he will do it again.  Moving near your family is a good will need support. My moms my babysitter : )

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:41 AM

When I was pregnant, I was feeling the same exact way as you.

I was doing everything on my own, no family to help. I was so depressed ans stressed and worried about everything. Every DR appt I went to I was crying cuz I was just so scared and had no help. They told me to go to a therapist. That didnt help at all. The only thing that helped was after having the baby, like right after I had him all my worries went away,  It's really not as hard as we worry and stress over.

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:25 AM

awww sweetie i was in the same situation when i was pregnant... im 20 with a 8 month old son he is my everything and i still worry that im not a good mom even tho i do everything i can i think its normal for first time moms!!! just dont worry about that man its  all about that baby and later on you will find someone who loves you and your baby... keep your head up and be strong for that baby!!!!

CafeMom Tickers
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:29 AM

Having a child is a big adjustment, but it will all work out. My words of wisdom are to get over the dad, and yes you will always have that connection because of the baby. However you deserve so much better than that and so does your child. Once a cheater always a cheater. i am a single mom of 4 kids. Its difficult but doable and I have so much less stress than before when I was with their fathers. At the end of the day when they laugh or tell me they love me it makes it worth it. Good Luck and if you ever need to talk pm me! 

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:09 AM

I was in your shoes myself - and while it is not the easiest thing to do - you will be just fine.  There is no magic wand that makes us good mom's.  As long as you love your child and do things to the best of your ability - you will be just fine.

I was alone at 19, and had my daughter when I was 20.  At some point during my pregnancy, I decided that it was just me and my baby girl against the world.  Every decision I made was with her in mind. Her father left when he found out I was pregnant, and has never had anything to do with her. Now 14 years later, while I am not perfect (none of us are), I own my home outright, my daughter is a straight A student and while we don't have the latest and greatest things - we have food on the table, clothes on our back and shoes on our feet.  I struggle to pay the bills and while I wish a lot of times that I didn't struggle so much - I do know that I am thankful that my girls are learning that they have to work to get things and they understand that we could be much worse off.  

by Ruby Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:23 AM

 deep breath. just focus on the baby and her arrival and dont think about the father right now. you have those hormones and you will get all "what could have been" and nostalgic.

moving closer to family is a good start. you will do fine!


by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 12:34 PM

Thank you ladies! You are all a lot of help and I appriciate it a lot!

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