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Are there other mamas out there with kids who have never had a dad, through abandonment, death, or by choice? I've parented Jayden alone since I was 9 weeks pregnant. It hasn't been easy, but at the same time, I haven't had to deal with the baby daddy bullshit all my friends have gone through.

I'd love to hear how y'all deal with being truly single parents...
by on Sep. 28, 2007 at 3:24 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 2:03 PM
Megan dad isn't around but Katies dad is.....Sheila:)
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 2:11 PM

Oliver's dad was in the states visiting from Scotland. He went home & I told him I was pregnant.  I never heard another word. I'm doing it all alone. (with family support, thank God) Sometimes its challenging, but I feel like this baby was a gift to my life that had nothing to do with his yellow bellied father.
I always figured that if he could walk away from something that he helped create, Im glad he's gone. I dont want that kind of influence around my precious boy.

"The right pair of shoes can change your life."  -Cinderella
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 5:14 PM
I left my daughter's father (for good) a week before she was born.  He doesn't know anything about her, her birth date, name, nothing.  I can honestly say that, even though its hard to be a parent on my own, I know it would have been a lot harder to have him around.  He almost killed me when I was 51/2 months pregnant and then threatened to do it again a week before my due date.  Then proclaimed to me that he had been cheating on me for the last few weeks because he knew that I was cheating on him (honestly, come on, I was ready to pop with his kid and I loved the guy, I wouldn't cheat, never have  cheated and don't plan on cheating in the future), that the name we had picked out for the baby he had picked out with his ex gf, and that he didn't believe that the baby was even his and he wouldn't have anything to do with her if I gave her my last name instead of his.  Well, I told him to go to hell and didn't respond to his call a day after I got home from the hospital and since then have not heard from him.  I don't think he would ever fight me for visitation/custody b/c I would go after him for past child support, current support, past/current medical support and my prenatal care as well.  Not only that, but there are too many things that i have over him, he's been to prison and jail on several occassions and he is on supervised visitation with his 4 other kids by his ex-wife!  We get along just fine with out him, even better so I think!  I don't plan on lying to her when it comes to the "where's my daddy" question in the future, but I hope that she never wants to meet him.  He's a deadbeat dad, but I'm glad that he doesn't want to be in our lives because he would just make it harder.  
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 2:16 PM
thx so much everyone for sharing your stories! I don't get online much so this is my first time seeing any of the replies. I'll try to touch base with many of you, when I can. I've been doing this solo mama thang for damn near 10 years now & have a lil advice to share, so y'all feel free to get at me, even if it's just to vent!
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 2:23 PM
My daughter is 10 years old and has seen her father less than 10 times.  It's difficult sometimes because she wonders about him.  She's at the age where she really notices that he's not around and that her friends all have dads, but I think she's better off for it.  When I was a kid my dad was the kind that was in and out of my life constantly.  He would say he was going to pick me up and never show...there was little me with my bags all packed waiting on the porch and he'd never come.  That is the worst kind of let down.  I think I'd much rather have Lex's situation where you just don't expect it or wait for it.  She's happy and well-adjusted and hasn't experienced the let down.  And, of course, I love that I don't have to deal with any bullshit.  He pays his support on time so we do still get financial support, but I don't have to deal with him or share her.  (Although sometimes I wish I did have to share when her preteen monster rears it's ugly head!)
by on Oct. 16, 2007 at 4:24 PM
My son is almost 5 months and his dad has seen him a handful of times. I'm not sure if itis better to have them come around once in a while when it is conveinent for them or to not have them at all. It is really hard on me that he only wants to see him once a month. It really bothers me deep down inside but i THINK i would rather have him around than not at all.
by on Oct. 17, 2007 at 6:26 PM
My son is 2 and his dad has not been around since he found out I was pregnant.  It truly does make it easier. I know that it sounds selfish but my oldest son is 11 and his dad has always been around he is good to his son but likes to make my lifeas difficult as possible. 
by on Oct. 17, 2007 at 6:40 PM
well i wish i could say my klds father isnt in his life right now but he comes an go when he wants. We arent together but when i was 5 moths pregant i found out my sons father was cheating on me and then we split seens then which my son is three and a half he has came and gone in my sons life when he wants he doesnt take care of him besides child support when he has a job and other then that it just causes issues. It would be nice if he could be 100 percent involved but his not. Why is it that guy cause live life knowing they have kids but dont know anything about them i think thats horrible
by on Oct. 17, 2007 at 6:45 PM
i have pretty much raised my 7 yr old daughter by myself. her dad and i had an on and off again relationship due to his chronic alcoholism. If i wasn't with him, he didn't bother with his daughter. Last time he actually saw her was grandparents day. only because i sent her over to gramps who lives next to daddy. He never calls, rarely pays support. and he lives only a few blocks away from her. But he has plenty of time for his g.f. 2 toddlers. and i think he knocked her up also. But i am grateful that i don't have to deal with him and i get her all to myself. i feel blessed.
by on Oct. 17, 2007 at 6:46 PM
I will be 29 weeks on Saturday and I've been alone since day one. When I told the so called "dad" I was expecting his child, he told me to abort it and when I said no.. he least give it up for adoption" and I said "there is no possible way another woman could love my child the way i already do now" and he's been absent ever since... and it's best that way. He doesn't deserve me or my unborn son. He chose that day and I'll take that to heart til the end. If he comes back, I'll just tell him he had his chance and no REAL father would want his child killed. I hate abortion. Being a single soon to be mom has had its challenges but it's also been AMAZING. I'm really gettin closer to my family and to God and I totally believe that the only real father my son has is the one upstairs =) I'm much happier being single than being with a guy who doesn't love or support his family. It makes me sad when girls take crap from their baby daddy's. I'll never do that. I'm not even asking for child support! God gave me a son and he gave me the power to do it by myself and I will. My son is the only man I need in my life...for now! =)

-Susan & Lil Hunter

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