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First time

Posted by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:40 PM
  • 15 Replies
Well this is my first time in almost 11 years being a single mom and I don't know if I can do it.  My children are at the age where everything starts to get more difficult.  I know it's only been 2 months since he's been gone but I put an add on the yahoo personals.  I don't know how to be alone  I need support and guidance. 
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommie-marcie
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:44 PM
Your a mama you can do it with or with help. i may be ALOT younger then you but i never thought i could do it, and that is when my ex told me i didnt know how to be a mom with out him, Well to his surprise. its been a year with out his help, (no money. no mental support no emotional support) nothing because i dont want to be with him and it was something to prove not only to him but other mommys that think they cant do it. my son is now 16months and happier and healthier then EVER!

                                                       
                                                             DONOVAN AiiDEN 
                                                    
         Add Group Young Mommies Doing it Without The Father's Help




faerie75
by Ruby Member on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:45 PM
i dont think its a good idea to find a man just because its hard to do it alone.

i felt like that when i was first single too. but i thought about it and realized i wanted to get to know MYSELF and what I wanted, not add to my burden. guess what? i became VERY picky and ten years later, im still single and i like it! i like not answering to any one, not cleaning up if i dont feel like it, not compromising.

now ive come to the conclusion that i will settle for nothing less than butterflies. if im 85 when that happens, so be it! i want a man because i WANT him, not because i NEED him, if that makes sense

steffiestylist
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:48 PM
Honey I am with ya.  I have been divorced since April of this year, and thought I had met the man of my dreams since.  I've never been in love, but only once, my ex boyfriend...(nope, never with my hubby).  The important thing to remember is, I know it's hard, but it's important to take some time and be self-assured and fully ready for a relationship.  It's not fair to someone else if you bring "reservations" and and "unhealed" heart into someone else's life (on Yahoo personals) who may be ready to 100% commit.  I say this because this is what was done to me.......please take some time for yourself, and your kids, and make sure you ware fully ready to move on.

I ama single SAH WAH mom who is back in school again, and has 2 kids.....no, it's not easy, but it is worth it.....I'm getting my emotional state together, so that when I'm fully ready to commit, I know I'll be ready on all levels...

http://www.stefaneaseworld.com

Created and Compiled by ME!  Work From Home For FREE Like I Do!  Check Out My Site!  Dozens of Opportunities/Jobs!

justamom312
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:52 PM

Do yourself a favor and take the ad off Yahoo and heal.  Finding a man now and trying to build a relationship is the last thing you need to be focusing on.  You were together 11 years-------It takes time to determine what you really want and what you want differently in the next relationship.

Kids are a great diversion if you truly focus on them.  I have been divorced 11 years and it has only been recently that I have considered dating again.  I put my whole self into being a mom and it is a decision I will never regret.  The fruits of my decision are apparent in the happiness of my children.

Take this time to get to know you today--------and not the person you were with a man in your life-------you may be amazed at just how differently you feel if you give it time.

Good Luck

goddressrow3an
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 3:44 PM

I felt the same way when I got divorced. Hell, single mom of two, working full time, how the hell was i going to afford it let alone, be alone..  2 1/2 years later, i'm still single,but I know myself and I'm glad i didn't go find someone to fill the void, because my self worth is through the roof right now!   Power on single mom!!  You can do it, WE on CM are here for YOU!

syzygy1963
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 4:06 PM
I am divorced from my huband of 21 years. I am 44. I did not even consider dating for over a year. I have recently put an add on Yahoo personals also, but it was good that I waited. I would not have been in the right place emotionally right after my divorce. Right now, I am wavering about the whole online dating thing. Maybe I've had bad luck so far, but the men who are contacting me are not what I'm looking for at all, and the men I'm interested in are only interested in much younger women. (See my post from the other day titled "Men in midlife crises"!) It's a serious bummer. I want a friend and companion, not a grandpa and not a man my own age behaving like my ex-husband and trolling for women 20 years younger. Be prepared: you may find this same situation with online dating. Be sure you are emotionally ready for the up's and down's of it...it can be upsetting. At least, it has been for me so far... Lori
mamamom431
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 4:19 PM

 Being single is not as hard as it seems. You don't have to share your bed! you Don't have to share the remote. Holidays are much less hectic when it comes to witch house are we going to for Thanksgiving.Nobody uses up your gas in your car. less laundry!
I  know that a marrage is the ideal for a family but,an unhappy tension free home is much better!
  I want to say that people often target single moms when the are looking to get close to children it has happened so many times so mom be on your toes.Please take your ad off the computer till you are possitive you are healed and your kids would be able to deal with another man in the house. And you can think clearly as to the person you are meeting.You don't just want someone.It is about finding the person you missed the first time around.Good luck being single isn't as bad as they say.

miinma77
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 5:39 PM
I just want to thank you guys for all your support I'm really going to need it now.  I went out last night and it was horrible.  All the happy people out and I used to be one of them.
PaWAHM
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 12:23 AM
I completely agree with every post so far.  You need to take some time for yourself and your kids!  You are not the only one who needs to heal, you have to think about them as well.  The last thing you and they need is another man around before you all have completely healed from this separation.  You will be surprised at how much you will learn about yourself, and how much you can do without a man!  Then, and only then, will you be ready to move on...

Rachel
RaeLpz@gmail.com
AIM & Yahoo!: RaeLpz73
MSN: RaeLpz@msn.com
MySpace.com/ClairtonBBW
www.FullerBrushOnline.org

soulchaser
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 12:33 AM
When I first got divorced from my ex I thought my world was falling around me and there was no way that I could ever survive, but then i looked into the blue eyes of my little girl and realized it would be hard but I could do it. Finding a man at this point would only make things worse for you and your child. Find strength in the children. If it wasnt for my kids I wouldnt have survived. When I was as low as thought I could be my mom came to me and told me "Honey this too shall pass, and he will never gives us more than we can handle" this has carried me through many things and many tear filled nights. Good luck!


 

    


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