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Well this is my first time in almost 11 years being a single mom and I don't know if I can do it.  My children are at the age where everything starts to get more difficult.  I know it's only been 2 months since he's been gone but I put an add on the yahoo personals.  I don't know how to be alone  I need support and guidance. 
by on Sep. 30, 2007 at 2:40 PM
Replies (11-15):
kaceysmommy
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 12:45 AM
i been a single mom since my daughter was born... i thing that u could do it if u put ur mind to it.. i think its easier being single because u don't have so much drama in ur life.. but don't get me wrong i would love to find a father for my 3 month old..  but like i said u can do it if u put ur mind to it
rebster
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 12:56 AM
I agree with you all but at times society makes it hard on us women. I mean all the struggling we are doing for the next generation and we need to look at how we are raising them. I am in alot of trouble over a small town from an OVI, to DUS and now a bounced check. I have been divorced two years and I have fought for everything I have which isn't much. I was left with no vehicle, $1 a year alimony , child support and bills. I then got an Ovi for dinner and drinks with friends, then got driving under suspension one month before I would have got my license  back. II got that becuase the town I had lived in gave me privileges and then took them and then gave them back. That was after they gave me 1,000 fine, plus three days in jail, and one more year of probation. Mind you I had never been in trouble and when I was married took care of everyhting.My ex never bothered with the children and today still doesn't. I have carried my boys all on my own with out help.My family cut me off when I left my ex for 11 years of a domestic marriage and his family doesn't talk to us at all. all my friends are to busy and well I have no way of getting around my car is ready to break down. I am wondering through all this how I survive. I am in so much finacial trouble and legal trouble for the first time in my life and no one to have mercy on me and my childre. The courts refuse to understand I am the only one to care for them I have full custody and noone wants them. I want them with all my heart and I feel as if I cant. i am full time in school working on a Psychology degree and was working at a strip club as a waittress. that is till someone called childrens services on me saying I did drugs,and was a stripper. Which all is untrue, but I am wondering how much more I must take before things get better. I am starting to lose hope that I will ever get out. I just need some words of wisdom thats all because I have had noone help this far and Not sure where to go from here. Any help would be appreciated! THANKS!
lfredette
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 1:31 PM
I am confident that you can make it on your own - you just need to believe in yourself. The beginning of something new is always frightening. I know I was overwhelmed when my husband and I separated, my daughter was 15 years old. He left so I had the house - what a scary proposition that was for me - he always took care of the repairs, mowed the lawn, etc. He also always made sure the cars were maintained. So these were all new things I needed to learn. I found out quickly that I had what it took to do what needed to be done. And you will too.

Let me ask you - was your husband involved? Did he take care of the kids, the house, the laundary and the meals? When I ask this question I often find that the answer is no and that we find that we have done it by ourselves all along - we only thought we weren't alone because our spouse was in the house. Is this true for you? Looking at it from this perspective hopefully makes it a little less daunting.

Best of luck to you. I know you can do it - you just need to believe that you can.

I encourage you to go into the dating scene only after you have discoverd that you are stronger than you thought and can go it alone and the reason you want a man is because you want to share your life with him not because you need him to take care of you.



Lisa A. Fredette, CTA Certified Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching
814-594-5817
http://www.lisafredette.com
http://lisafredette.com/blog
coach@lisafredette.com

Are you tired of trying to recover from your divorce alone? Gain the support you need - join the Passionate about Life Coach - Divorce Recovery Coaching Club http://www.passionateaboutlifecoach.com

Regaining your Passion for Life after Divorce Network sign up at http://passionateaboutlifeafterdivorce-network.ryze.com/

miinma77
by on Oct. 1, 2007 at 9:11 PM

Quoting lfredette:

I am confident that you can make it on your own - you just need to believe in yourself. The beginning of something new is always frightening. I know I was overwhelmed when my husband and I separated, my daughter was 15 years old. He left so I had the house - what a scary proposition that was for me - he always took care of the repairs, mowed the lawn, etc. He also always made sure the cars were maintained. So these were all new things I needed to learn. I found out quickly that I had what it took to do what needed to be done. And you will too.

Let me ask you - was your husband involved? Did he take care of the kids, the house, the laundary and the meals? When I ask this question I often find that the answer is no and that we find that we have done it by ourselves all along - we only thought we weren't alone because our spouse was in the house. Is this true for you? Looking at it from this perspective hopefully makes it a little less daunting.

Best of luck to you. I know you can do it - you just need to believe that you can.

I encourage you to go into the dating scene only after you have discoverd that you are stronger than you thought and can go it alone and the reason you want a man is because you want to share your life with him not because you need him to take care of you.



Lisa A. Fredette, CTA Certified Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching
814-594-5817
http://www.lisafredette.com
http://lisafredette.com/blog
coach@lisafredette.com

Are you tired of trying to recover from your divorce alone? Gain the support you need - join the Passionate about Life Coach - Divorce Recovery Coaching Club http://www.passionateaboutlifecoach.com

Regaining your Passion for Life after Divorce Network sign up at http://passionateaboutlifeafterdivorce-network.ryze.com/


Actually we both did pretty much everything around the house.  We were a very good team
chel1023
by on Oct. 2, 2007 at 3:10 PM
Being single really sucks at first, but after a while it gets better.  You realize how much freedom you have, you don't have to answer to anyone else, you can raise your children your way and not have to considered what the other person thinks.  I've been a single mom from day one so I don't know exactly what you are going through, but you'll get through it, you are a mother and mothers are strong people!  I also realized that I don't need a man in my life to make me complete.  I'm getting to know MY likes and dislikes more and I think that when I do get in a relationship down the road, this time by myself will be very beneficial to me and the guy I'm with.  Be strong, you'll get through it.  Remember that God never gives you more than you can handle.  Good luck!   
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