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Baby Daddy Visit

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:22 PM
  • 8 Replies

okay so we know that yesterday I got blind sided with baby daddy saying he wants to come over and visit my son.  

Obviously since they have not seen each other in over a year, I'm not ready for you to take him anywhere.

I want to be there for 99% of this visit.  

But I was thinking, maybe it would be okay if I left them at my apartment for an hour or so and like went to dinner and came back?  Ya know let them have a little time together.  It's not like they would go anywhere.  

What do you think?  Maybe too soon? Maybe too much for a 4 year old to take in on one visit?

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:22 PM
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Replies (1-8):
dragonlilly3492
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:24 PM

I wouldn't do that. A 4 year old who has not seen daddy in a year. He may want you there.


mosfatal
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:27 PM

i would let my son call the shots and maybe just go shopping or over a friends somewhere u can leave as soon as u get the call if he changes his mind 10 mins into the visit

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KristenFowles
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:29 PM

 I would take it one step at a time.. Visit #1 needs to be at home,with you supervising. Visit #2 needs to start out with you.. and ONLY if your child says "yes, I want to go ____ with Daddy" do you let him go.. and make sure this place is MINUTES from you just in case child gets nervous/uncomfortable.

momaj
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:29 PM

hmmm...since it's been over a year since they've visited i would say that it would be a little soon for an alone visit....it might be a little much for the child.  

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 5:34 PM

way too soon. DS met his dad when he was 3 and even 2 months later, i wouldnt allow the two of them together alone.. but thats also because of BD's history. i say the first few visits should be based on how BD treats DS. and even still, i dont think i'd allow it inside my house- my mom used to go through all my shit and steal my things so i have a really hard time trusting people. i might walk out for a few seconds, but make it so BD doesnt know when you'll be back- like if it's seconds or minutes later.

wearing crown                  backpack
                                         Boo-Boo 
                                      10/15/2005
21 year old single mom of a 4 year old boy. Not sure exactly what kind of mom I am, but I get a chance to better myself everyday. My biggest goal for 2010 is to break out of my shell.

~~~ I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

calgalmeg
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:17 PM

I would NOT leave them alone together.

You never know what a person will do or their motivations- until he has proven himself I would not trust him with my child.  Not to mention I think it would be very scary for a child to meet someone essentially for the first time and then have you (Mom) walk out and leave LO alone with a new person.  

My DD is 4 years old and I cannot imagine what she would do but I know it would not be pretty- it would be a very uncomfortable position to put a child in.  Even if you explain "this is your dad" the child won't really get what that means since they don't know him and will feel like he's expected to behave - it's a lot of pressure for a kid.

 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:39 PM

Honey that man ain't taking my baby anywhere!!! I don't care what him or my baby says.  No you can stay at MY house alone together for 2 hours max!!! This is NOT a free for all.

Quoting KristenFowles:

 I would take it one step at a time.. Visit #1 needs to be at home,with you supervising. Visit #2 needs to start out with you.. and ONLY if your child says "yes, I want to go ____ with Daddy" do you let him go.. and make sure this place is MINUTES from you just in case child gets nervous/uncomfortable.


Texan1993
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:19 PM

No, I would definately stay there with your child during the entire visit. See how it goes and if you feel comfortable and everthing goes ok then maybe next time depending on how your child feels. 

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