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Worried about my teenage daughter fighting at school... (sorry if OT)

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  • 10 Replies

I am really worried about my daughter. She got in an argument over the weekend on Facebook with an ex friend and the girl threatened to kick her butt. This girl and her were friends last year and for some reason have come to dislike eachother immensely but they both have the same friends and see eachother each day at school. My daughter posted something on her own wall and this girl came on and started saying crap to her and my daughter let her have it. My daughter has never been in a fight and is preparing to fight this girl at school if she messes with her. This girl constantly insults my daughter and is really a nasty girl and she also treats some other girls the same way.

I hate confrontation and was always scared of getting in fights in school when I was a teenager. I am really at a crossroad on the advice to give her. I don't want her fighting but I also don't want this girl jumping my daughter either. I told her to try and avoid her and avoid fighting her but if she throws the first punch to kick her butt.

I monitor her Facebook use and this is how I found out about the argument. I told her no more fighting on there and it is to be used to connect with her friends and thats all or I will delete her account. Also the other girl was deleted off of her page.

I am just a little nervous and praying she handles the situation by using her best judgement.

Not sure if I gave her the best advice or not... If I had a husband or SO I could use him as a sounding board but I don't. I am always second guessing the advice I give my kids in situations like this...

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 11:57 AM

 i was constantly messed with in school from 7th grade on. i was pretty and also i have adhd so i could be annoying at times with diarrhea of the mouth and poor impulse control so it was a combo of jealousy and probably annoyance.

my mom was a peace loving hippie and told me to walk away but i went to high school in the early 90's, it was like prison i swear to God. finally in 10th grade this girl who was always talking crap was, well, talking crap so i walked up and socked her in the side of the head. we tussled a bit before we were pulled apart.

i was never messed with in high school again. but, we werent caught and nowadays, they dont just suspend you, they take your ass to juvenile hall.

so idk what to advise you. just that if you let pppl mess w you, they will.

 
        
         

Brandyns87
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:03 PM

She could always tell the principal, and get a no contact order. The girl would automatically be suspended if she talked to her. They have that at most schools. I think the best thing for her to do would be to stand up for herself though. If she stands up for herself then it will stop. Sadly, when someone is being picked on they usually have to beat someone up for it to stop, but it will stop.

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on." - Tupac Shakur

jessarendt22
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:05 PM

If I were you I would speak to counsler at their school or perhaps call the girls mother , since she seems to have a habbit of bullying girls around at the school, and to keep your daughter out of trouble I would just tell her to walk away if the girl approaches her at school and to never be alone with her

Luvof2angels
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:47 PM


Quoting faerie75:

 i was constantly messed with in school from 7th grade on. i was pretty and also i have adhd so i could be annoying at times with diarrhea of the mouth and poor impulse control so it was a combo of jealousy and probably annoyance.

my mom was a peace loving hippie and told me to walk away but i went to high school in the early 90's, it was like prison i swear to God. finally in 10th grade this girl who was always talking crap was, well, talking crap so i walked up and socked her in the side of the head. we tussled a bit before we were pulled apart.

i was never messed with in high school again. but, we werent caught and nowadays, they dont just suspend you, they take your ass to juvenile hall.

so idk what to advise you. just that if you let pppl mess w you, they will.

My Amanda has diarhhea of the mouth too sometimes! lol

That's what I told her that sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves to get respect from people that are nasty like that.

Luvof2angels
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:49 PM


Quoting Brandyns87:

She could always tell the principal, and get a no contact order. The girl would automatically be suspended if she talked to her. They have that at most schools. I think the best thing for her to do would be to stand up for herself though. If she stands up for herself then it will stop. Sadly, when someone is being picked on they usually have to beat someone up for it to stop, but it will stop.


This is my reasoning...

Luvof2angels
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:50 PM


Quoting jessarendt22:

If I were you I would speak to counsler at their school or perhaps call the girls mother , since she seems to have a habbit of bullying girls around at the school, and to keep your daughter out of trouble I would just tell her to walk away if the girl approaches her at school and to never be alone with her


If it continues I am going to call the school...

ProudSingleMum
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 4:39 PM

I agree.

Quoting jessarendt22:

If I were you I would speak to counsler at their school or perhaps call the girls mother , since she seems to have a habbit of bullying girls around at the school, and to keep your daughter out of trouble I would just tell her to walk away if the girl approaches her at school and to never be alone with her


calgalmeg
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 1:21 AM

Agreed I'd call the school ASAP- and I would have my DD block her on Facebook- that way this girl cannot look at her profile at all- and make sure that it's a private Facebook page.

Standing up is good if she HAS to but you don't know what this other girl is like.  What if she has a weapon?  What if she really hurts your DD?  When I was 14 a girl was picking on me- I told her to take a hike and she lifted me off the ground and threw me into a metal garbage can.  Yeah EVENTUALLY she left me alone- but I was hurt very badly in the meantime.

Quoting Brandyns87:

She could always tell the principal, and get a no contact order. The girl would automatically be suspended if she talked to her. They have that at most schools. I think the best thing for her to do would be to stand up for herself though. If she stands up for herself then it will stop. Sadly, when someone is being picked on they usually have to beat someone up for it to stop, but it will stop.


 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

Luvof2angels
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 9:40 AM

Thank you everyone for your advice. Amanda's day yesterday, to my relief, was uneventful. She said that she took my advice and ignored this girl and the girl ignored her. I am hoping this is the end of it but I am sure this girl will start with her again.  Amanda's Facebook is set to private and this girl was deleted off of it. I am going to give it a few days and if it continues I will be calling the school to speak with someone.

calgalmeg
by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:11 PM

Glad it went well!  Hope it continues that way!

Quoting Luvof2angels:

Thank you everyone for your advice. Amanda's day yesterday, to my relief, was uneventful. She said that she took my advice and ignored this girl and the girl ignored her. I am hoping this is the end of it but I am sure this girl will start with her again.  Amanda's Facebook is set to private and this girl was deleted off of it. I am going to give it a few days and if it continues I will be calling the school to speak with someone.


 It is never too late to be what you might have been.  - George Elliot

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